I watched porn after 209 days.

This is a warning to those who think that the whole game is about passing the first three months. It's not...

Today, I fucked up. I watched porn after 209 days. That's almost 7 months of a no porn streak.

The first piece of the good news is that I managed to stop watching a lot sooner than the last time, 209 days ago.

I mainly got my fix from browsing and I only watched less than a minute I think. But boy, did it mess with my head...

The other piece of the good news is that I did not masturbate. I didn't even touch it. I was resisting the temptation but I knew I would break any second. It was a miracle that I managed to stop watching before anything bad happened.

And it would be a shame if I gave up because I haven't fapped in 289 days!

Now, I must be extra careful for the rest couple days.

After such a long streak, you might think you are invincible, but I would recommend you to never think that. Being fearful helped me a lot on my journey. It raises your awareness and you're much more careful when you have urges.

I know what you may think. "So what? Will I have to be careful for the rest of my life?"

It is possible that you may have to. You can't take any risks.

"Eternal vigilance is the price for liberty".

Stay strong, my friends. And stay vigilant.

P.S. If you have any questions, let me know. It's been a while since I talked here (around 10 months actually).

 

Thank you for your message. I think I understand where you're coming from. Yes, self-control is what will eventually beat the addiction. There is no other way.

But time helps. It may not be the cause of you stopping masturbating, but you get less and less urges as time passes. So, it's a matter of being patient too.

I would only argue that I am addicted to PMO. Not porn or masturbation by themselves. I don't care about masturbation without porn. I haven't relapsed once without the use of porn. I'm obviously addicted to fapping to porn. As most of the guys here I'd assume.

 

I absolutely agree that masturbation is an issue. As with sex, we can get addicted to masturbation. I didn't mean that if you use porn to masturbate, then masturbation is not an issue. Absolutely not.

But we can also get addicted to viewing sexual images and as long as I have occupied myself with the subject, I haven't encountered any argument to even suggest otherwise.

Of course, the mindset has to change. But I don't see how confining the problem to only masturbation if you use porn to masturbate will help someone better. Unless you do not use porn to masturbate. Then it cannot be labeled as PMO addiction.

Maybe for some reason you believe that I don't think masturbation is a problem, but when I talk about PMO addiction, I directly state this anyway. Setting apart viewing porn and masturbating and then blaming it on either of them alone could hardly be considered helpful or even accurate.

What I'm driving at is that by saying that PMO is an addiction that includes both masturbation and pornographic images, I can hardly see it as blaming it on the circumstances. If that's not what you meant, then please clarify.

 

Hey, man. Keep going strong. Morning woods have created a lot of urges for me in the past so all I can recommend is staying away from the Internet for a few hours. If you notice any urges, that is.

 

Ok, I think I am not being understood. I understand that masturbation is an addiction. And I am not saying that viewing porn can be an addiction by itself. But when in combination with masturbation, it is useful to call it porn addiction because while it shares similarities with simply masturbating, it is yet not the same.

And I would bet that if you asked anyone here, they wouldn't claim they are only addicted to porn but not masturbation. While the term "porn addiction" can be misleading at first, after talking with people here, can you really think they believe they are only addicted to porn? Besides, a quick google search will reveal that porn addiction is compulsive sexual behavior. Not just watching pornographic content.

And that's why I often use the term PMO addiction more than porn addiction. To be more precise. Indeed Gary Wilson hasn't used it in such a way. I have read the book. If it's not helpful for you to understand what I mean then I will be using the term "masturbating while watching porn addiction". Words are just tools for communication after all.

And when it comes to how useful your approach is, I would have a hard time believing it helped others. If you tell someone they can bother with screen content after they deal with masturbation while they are addicted to masturbating while watching, then I am not sure how you are helping them. They're more likely to relapse if they continue watching especially in the early stages of abstaining.

And yes, I would say that most people here think that masturbation isn't harmful by itself. An opinion I strongly disagree with.

 

Nobody's calling "masturbation addiction" a "porn addiction". They call masturbating to porn a "porn addiction". Sorry, but after a while it feels like you're twisting my words. Of course, I don't believe you're doing it on purpose, but I needed to point it out.

Now, I am not fast to see intention behind the coining of the term. That's because I believe that nobody except someone who is not addicted may misinterpret the term when they first hear it. Wanting to be practical with a term is more likely than wanting to use pornography as a scapegoat. Besides, most people on nofap try to quit masturbation when they start. If you find a person who thinks that stopping watching porn by itself is the way to go but continue masturbating, I would gladly accompany you persuading him otherwise.

Being addicted to masturbation and being addicted to masturbating while watching porn are two different things. While at the core, it's the same result, the second one is a way stronger addiction. I'm surprised you read You Brain on Porn and that Gary Wilson didn't manage to persuade you about this. Now, I'm curious how you debunked the whole "theory of porn addiction". Please, expound...

 

Thanks for your message. When it comes to masturbation alone, I could imagine how someone can do it once in a while and not be called addicted. That's because after a while it's simply the pressure on your balls that leads you to masturbate. You may not necessarily have some fantasy in your mind and it doesn't have to be compulsory.

I wouldn't say I know everything about the topic, but after some research I have concluded that doctors and other "sex experts" who encourage masturbation as something healthy, their sole argument is "prostate cancer". If you take a closer look at that argument, you may find that it's not something definitive. There is research involved that makes a case for a higher probability of prostate cancer for someone who doesn't masturbate. That's it. And we also don't know how accurate that may be because it's still early I think.

Personally, I come from a mindset that attributes many benefits to "semen retention". Now, I know that most people in this section of the forum have neither the will or the luxury to research that further. They have bigger problems to concern themselves with. That's fair. But I have reason to believe that retaining your semen can lead someone to a better quality of life. And that's why I think it's even better if you stop masturbation once and for all.

One has to try it for himself though. There is a section of this forum called "Abstinence, Retention, and Sexual Transmutation". If you're unsure about this but you also are skeptical to outright deny it (a rare thing among nofap members), you could go there and ask anything. There are some people who have extensive experience with the subject and could even point you to some resources to get started. I could too, but I don't have enough experience to be confident enough to recommend anything.

 

First, what is it exactly that he made up? Let's be precise. Can you state what he said and explain why it isn't correct?

Second, are you linking in some way cults and rituals to Gary Wilson? That's interesting. Why is that?

Lastly, I have read some work done by his wife Marnia Robinson. What led you to believe she's a sex-negative feminist? She's obviously not against sex and there's proof for it, so I am curious.

P.S. If you found some other way to quit porn and masturbation, then good for you! But that doesn't mean it would apply to everyone else, which is why I'm still keeping this conversation going in the first place.