I need Help!

I am male, currently 20 years old comes from a very conservative country. I think it’s important to know it from the beginning to know the reasons and solutions . My story starts when I was a kid, I used to watch porn since I was a child and it used to please me too much that I could watch for too long, literally for 3 or 4 hours or even more, having very strong erection the whole process without even touching myself, but I was just watching for fun and have no clue about what I am doing. I remember that since the beginning I got addicted to watch lesbian porn. It used to excite me too much and I have always been watching the foreplay until the camera reach the vagina part, then I would change to another clip. One day when I was 16 years old I started touching myself because I was too excited, and like anyone for the first time it felt very good then I ejaculated. Since that days I used to masturbate once or twice a week, at least once every two weeks. My sexual desire was hugely high and I could notice that very clearly. Only thinking about sexual fantasies turns me on and gives me a very strong erection. The main problem that time was my society because of religious reason and traditions, it’s prohibited to have sex or even have relationship before marriage so I used to be very stressed and had masturbation as almost daily habit, with the very need to try of touching other girl, kissing and having sex. At the age of 19 I had a girlfriend and we used to kiss and touch and that time my dick was too strong and having erection easily. Last year I went to another country to study and of course it was a whole new experience, girls wearing sexy clothes (from my own perspective) and I want to have sex so hard. I had couple chances to have sex but I just used to foreplay kiss hug and do these stuff with knowing clearly in advance that I won’t put my dick inside and have full sex intercourse because it’s a big sin in my religion (since I already sleep with them it has no meaning to continue and please myself I know but it’s just how I was thinking). I broke up with all of them, and early this year I had a new girlfriend then I decided that I am gonna go normal and have a full sex relationship with her because I decided to marry her, but the thing is because of the epidemic I am always locked at school and we can’t have privacy. So I used to watch porn excessively and masturbate daily twice or 3 times.

Recently I have a chance to be with her alone so I decided to gave up on porn and have sex with her, but here came the big problems.

1-each time we start kissing and touching I don’t get the same feeling and arousal I used to get before and then I don’t have full erection, then I lose it very fast

2- when I see erotic pictures, videos or any girl I don’t have feeling any more

3- I don’t get aroused or have sexual fantasies at all like I used to have before

4- I think I still have the sexual desire because I really want to please myself and reach orgasms, but I just can’t


Notices: Before I could get very hard and good erection with sexual arousal just by watching porn, then I lost these feeling gradually and I should use my own hand to touch to have the feeling during watching and then reaching ejaculation

I gave up on porn and masturbating for 1 month now

I tried to have sex with my partner for over 5 times and they all failed because of erection dysfunction

Recently for couple months my mood is very bad and I am too stressed and having tension

I always had sexual fantasies for everything except for intercourse ( I think the reason is lesbian porn addiction and the idea that I could just use my hand to ejaculate)

Last but not least, I am really depressed, I don’t know what to do, I can make my partner get very aroused and reach orgasm, she always be like dying for me to put my penis into her vagina but I just can’t because I have no erection.

Now every time I don’t have any confidence in my self and I get very disappointed for letting her down, she just sleep and I can’t fall a sleep at all.


The story written above was a note in my phone and now I found out NoFap so I want to write a fast update


UPDATE:


I stopped watching porn for a whole month then because I had almost no erection at all or ones last for few seconds. I thought I was almost dead and lost my own thing. So I watched porn and masturbated(although I had no desire at all) then I was like.. damn?


Then I stopped again for almost 2 weeks now, at the same time I started going on healthy diet and having good life style.


And here is my questions and feelings


I never had full sex before, so I don’t know how it feels, and in order to have that experience I should be highly aroused with good erection so I can try it, I think because all my previous experiences and habits, it’s going to be damn hard.


I can see a huge progress in me. Now I can have very strong morning erections that last for long and I have erections during the day, also I gradually get my sex drive back after I lost it completely during my reboot (still no Good erections)


I still can’t get good erections when I am making out with my girlfriend and I can barley have feelings but lasts for few seconds then It’s gone and I am unable to maintain any erections. It makes me too angry too sad and very depressed as she is also virgin and she enjoys me too much and get lubricated and be able to have sex but I am simply not turned on


I have already told her my situation and she can understand but I am really very worried and I don’t know what to do


Sorry for saying that much, but I think my story is way too weird so you guys should know every aspect in this. I hope to get your help and feedback thanks.

 

In short I never had sex before (ejaculating because of vaginal intercourse) before. Only ejaculated once while making out with my GF and it was one of that times I am trying to maintain erection to have successful intercourse. I have been watching porn since the age of 10+ and was masturbating to porn. Never masturbated without porn arousal. Now I can’t have good erection with my girlfriends and it vanishes pretty easy, it’s also related to having no exciting feelings or arousal with my GF. What makes me afraid is that I have never had vaginal fantasies in my life. Only other things like boobs touching kissing etc, and I never felt how it feels like to intercourse. Now I force and starting to convince myself that the normal situation is to have vaginal sex and ejaculate over it and not using my own hand, but it’s just so hard to get erection. How the hell to keep and maintain your erection! My problem is that my expectations are so high from my GF and she is rookie, when I can make her melting and cumming so fast only with making out and having foreplay with her. So I have a question does erection only comes if you are really aroused or it also can be there in sexual activity. Because I seriously don’t know if I have a ED or it’s just that I can’t find my pleasure in normal sex.
PS: I have morning erections and I get erections spontaneously with or without thinking about something erotic.

 

Well I have no problems communicating with girls, actually for me everything is perfect from getting to know new girls and having conversations with them to getting them to sleep with me, it’s just I never thought about intercourse before marriage and I never had the ED before I decided to, but I am sure there are way so many factors affected me including enormous porn use since early age and getting depression right before I sleep with her for the first time and try to have vaginal sex, right to the fact that I stopped watching porn for almost 3 weeks before that day with her, so it also should be flatline and reboot symptoms.
The main issue that when all these come together and it caused my ED, then I actually found that I have this issue. Now when I be with her I get too nervous and anxious that I may be loosing it, even tho now my libido is going high gradually and I get morning erections, etc. but I hell don’t know why I can get erections due to fantasies with real women ( not porn ) but when I just go out and see the real lady I am not that interested or having the damn feeling