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35 and Older Accountability Group

Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by artifact, Nov 24, 2018.

  1. WorldWanderer

    WorldWanderer Fapstronaut

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    Checking in. Having a mentally hard time and just want to escape to PMO. Found myself opening a site and closing it within seconds, not because of self-control but for disinterest. Not feeling urges and not getting erect. Feels like depression, though I am not typically prone to those. Things are strained with the partner, which is not helping. Hope I can get through this without falling to MO..
     
    Timber, JJ_Kino, John Call and 2 others like this.
  2. Jerky

    Jerky Fapstronaut

    Joined the gym last night. This gives me a channel through which to re-direct my energy. Plenty of girls were there so there's that. Anyway it was a good experience and being in a physical encironment with others was motivating.
     
    Timber, JJ_Kino, John Call and 2 others like this.
  3. Jerky

    Jerky Fapstronaut

    Just wanted to offer a thought that has crossed my mind recently:

    In the past, i had given in to fantasy which led to edging which led to me giving in to relapse.

    Lately, sexual energy has been manifesting itself and this is ok. It's what's supposed to happen, but i would tell myself that i could at least edge the urges until they subside. This would inevitably lead to relapse. Funny thing, my edging was supposed the alleviate the growing urge to give in. Instead it poured gas on the fire.

    Not today.

    The thought crossed my mind that it's ok to sit with an urge until it naturally subsides on it's own. If i just let it pass, like a rainstorm, eventually it will, and all will be well. I dont have to let it form into a hurricane or tornado by feeding and fighting it. Storms are natural. They are meant to pass. So are sexual urges when they are not given into.

    I will allow 'urging' to be the new 'edging' so to speak. Urges are a natural. Edges are self made.

    I apologize for the poor comparison however, relapse is less of an inevitable should urges not have to lead to edges.

    At times like this, i find the perfect opportunity to thank God for endowing me with a healthy libido, and what better way to express my gratitude than to not use it for a brief opportunity of instant gratification. Instead, i will live in the moment and appreciate God's gift.

    Alternatively, when i get an urge, i could edge (just a little) which will lead to masturbating (just once) which will lead to a (guaranteed) relapse.

    No thanks.

    I'm just going to appreciate the urges when i get them.
     
  4. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    Excellent perspective. I have a similar approach. When the urge hits - it can be a physical feeling, mental imagery, a trigger or an inadvertent psub - I acknowledge the urge. Hello urge, there you are. you are back. I know all about you and I know in a few moments you will go away. At the same time I acknowledge my addiction, confirming to myself that choosing the path to "do something" about the urge will lead to acting out and subsequent unhappiness and dissatisfaction with myself. In those moments, I've created the time/space to make a good choice and let it pass. Stay strong all.
     
    Timber, JJ_Kino, discovery and 3 others like this.
  5. Excellent point. You definitely don't want to feed the urges. Lately I've been having the mindset of "If I want to reach my goal of life without PM, giving in to that temptation is not an option." Just remove it as a possibility, like you would robbing a bank or shooting up heroin. Congrats on your 30 days today, btw.
     
  6. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

    I'm having issues getting started again. Just reset AGAIN.

    Not having expectations for myself is leading me nowhere I want to be.

    Trying again for 90 days. I get so annoyed failing but my overall success is so much better when I try.
     
    Timber, Robbiebob, JJ_Kino and 4 others like this.
  7. Been there, done that. :D
     
  8. magvor

    magvor Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

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    Checking in after a rocky week.

    I've managed to avoid PM, but it's not been easy at all. Looks like I'm not the only one here who's experiencing that right now!
     
  9. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    @GottaBFree What are the circumstances that are leading you to use PMO?
     
    JJ_Kino likes this.
  10. Hi everyone...sad to say my streak is finally over after more than 2 months :(...I was feeling really stressed out yesterday and just gave in and went to porn to give me some relief...but now that I've used it a bit I've realised I didn't miss anything at all and actually it bores me and does not have as much control over me as before...so time to start a new streak and keep away from PMO.
     
    magvor, Timber, artifact and 4 others like this.
  11. discovery

    discovery Fapstronaut

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    This is great. Thanks.
     
    Robbiebob, JJ_Kino and Jerky like this.
  12. John Call

    John Call Fapstronaut

    I'm on day 17

    I had a change in my work last week, now i'm working from home instead of office, and i feel much better about it, because I'm the kind of person who must use my laptop daily when i'm home, and when my work was from office i used the laptop for browsing and watching YouTube or any stupid "fun" things,

    Now all my time on the laptop is busy by my work and i don't have any time for other things, i feel it's better this way, because if anyway i'm using my laptop when home then let it be a productive usage,

    And also because when i worked from office i used to be physically very tired and stressed which was the main reason for me relapsing, now i'm much less stressed and not that physically tired, but still very busy in the same time.

    I'm holding strong in this streak and i hope i will stay strong.
     
    magvor, Rebooter13, artifact and 3 others like this.
  13. Jerky

    Jerky Fapstronaut

    I have started praying in the shower. That is the one place i am most vulnerable. I invite God in to every area of my life. I will never be alone because God is forever there.
     
  14. Robbiebob

    Robbiebob Fapstronaut

    Checking in for day five... Made love to my dearest wife two days ago and its great to do that with confidence & no porn in site... R.
     
    GottaBFree, magvor, tonyk1982 and 2 others like this.
  15. Interesting. My addiction, as it is today, has been formed by Internet porn. But as a teenager I already watched softcore "erotic" movies compulsively on German TV (in those days softcore really was soft: no genitalia, no extreme fetishes, always consensual and mostly vanilla sex). Such a movie could only be watched on Fridays and Saturdays and it was only possible when my parents weren't still around. When I got my own TV I videotaped those movies and watched them in my room a lot more often.
     
    Robbiebob likes this.
  16. @Timber - You have been added to the member ranking. Welcome back to the group!

    @gearboxwhine - Congrats on your 30 days yesterday!
     
  17. Checking in - got through the first day of the treacherous 3-day weekend. Feeling pretty good and ready for a good long run this time.
     
    GottaBFree, NICEDUDE and Robbiebob like this.
  18. Robbiebob

    Robbiebob Fapstronaut

    All good here for day 6... Hope every body is going well... R.
     
    GottaBFree and artifact like this.
  19. I struggled last night and this morning. My brain starting screaming out "where's my weekend porn binge?" and is finally starting to quiet down again. I couldn't stand the thought of doing anything on my to-do list, so I'm ripping music CDs to my computer, which I consider a "fun" project (I will eventually burn a new stack of mix CDs). It's helping me get through this morning moment by moment. Don't want to fail again with a measly 14 days, I've got a 90 day trophy waiting for me.
     
  20. Great awakin

    Great awakin Fapstronaut

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    Get back up bruh!
     
    Jerky and Wanttosucceed like this.

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