Recovery Journal

You are doing very well.Its very advanced stuff and I think many never come up to study and do it seriously through their entire life...or at least until their health deteriorates significantly.
Alcohol and cigarettes were much easier to leave behind than PMO,probably because there are plenty of examples of negative consequences of drinking and smoking,but very few those of PMO.
What kind(s) of meditation do you do?

 

What kind of music do you listen?is it the same all the time or do you use different music depending on the way you feel ?
...I think in psychology they have motivation and inspiration,first one is when you are trying to avoid pain and second one is when you are in pursuit of your dreams,and the language we use everyday reveals if we think positive or negative.I think "NO MORE PMO AGAIN" "I HATE THIS SHIT" are better replaced with"I STAY CLEAN FOR MY DREAM/GOALS SAKE"AND"I LOVE STAYING CLEAN BECAUSE I HAVE TONS OF ENERGY AND CLEAR HEAD TO UNDERSTAND AND BE AWARE OF THE WORLD AROUND ME"
...I think the biggest negative effect of PMO is the damage to ability to concentrate and meditate as well as loosing passion to whatever goal you are going after.What do you think about it?

 

Have you tried Lindsey Stirling -Brave enough(The Phoenix)?
I think music is meant to make you feel better,to help you to forget your problems ,not to ruminate over them.And sometimes its tied to times when you felt very well/happy.

 

Days 5,6,7 Slept quite sensitively and was waking up quite a few times over the course of the night,physically lots of energy but mental concentration is lagging behind...or maybe they are right when saying that it is easier to meditate in a quiet place where you are not likely to be disturbed.

 

Day 8.Slept not too deep and woke up few times.Patience slowly goes up and aggressiveness down.

 

Day 9 slept so-so woke up at 2am while seeing erotic dream,it wasn't a wet dream but it was close.As soon as I realize its a dream I woke up and save myself by staying up for a few minutes.I guess its because of the split between conscious and subconscious minds.The later one still thinks any sex experience is good whilst first one knows what reboot/recovery is...

 

Day 10.Slept alright but woke up from hitting wall next to my bed.
Day 11.Slept badly because of the new pillow and eating a lot before going to bed.I woke up with a headache.

 

Day 12.Slept better than yesterday.Rode bicycle to the shops after quite a while of not using it

 

Day 13.Slept better than yesterday.Done 15 min meditation in the morning.

 

Day 14 Slept so-so,it felt hot in the bedroom.Psychologically feels like worries and anxieties are not so acute and go away easier and faster.

 

Day 15.Slept better than yesterday,but woke up harder.Maybe because of the weather.Awareness getting stronger!

 

Day 16 .Slept so-so,waking up a few times.Anxiety go down and with every day I worry less about what is done.Driving becomes calmer,more patient.

 

Day 17.Slept so-so worse than yesterday.Got a cold shower and very solid morning wood.

 

Well, I'm still alive and that's ok for me!I guess its the time of the year when way too many people start getting colds and flues out of the blue and they wont sit at their home but go and sheeze and cough around for an obvious reason of being low on money and afraid to loose their job as well as for social and psychological reasons ,whilst you keep guessing on whether they got c19 or some less dangerous kind of it.How about you?

 

Day 18.Headache and anadin.
Day 19.Slept alright,went to gym and had a good long walk with mp3 player.

 

day 20...keep going,slept alright

 

Day 21 .Slept alright.Caught some light cold,no coughs but you feel it when working out.