It seems like a lot of successful guys at nofap and pornfree still have rubbish sex lives?

Perhaps they don't want to rush it and are searching for meaningful and long-term relationships so that they don't have to be

?

I personally am married and have generally solved my PMO problem long time ago (though occasional P relapses occur, which is a big shame, but it's also related to serious issues with my emotional relationship with wife - no excuses are acceptable here, though). I can tell you that the sex is great, and it also is pretty rare these days. The emotional relationship is much more important to focus on. But the key is not to make a big fuss about sex life and go on with your life, which is probably what the nofappers you're describing are doing.

By the way, sexoholism is also an addiction and PMO addicts are probably in the risk group.

 

I would concur with Ekhangel's comment. I think your view may be more relevant to some of the younger NoFap members maybe? As someone of a 'certain age' my wish to remove PMO from my life is very personal and related to all aspects of my relationship with my wife - not solely sex. I also feel PMO takes up too much of my time when I could be doing something a lot more productive. I am also learning more about the many downsides to the porn industry both in terms of how it tries to affect my mind but also how it affects the individuals involved in the industry in a negative way.
So in short PMO and the associated fapping with it produces much negativity in my life that I would like to cut out. It's not solely about having better sex for many individuals here but something far more complicated.

 

Yes, there is the moral aspect too, which played a huge role when I originally set on the path of NoFap. I just didn't want to personally contribute to all this moral filth, in a sense of personal responsibility for the bigger picture. I guess this sort of outlook is probably not commonplace around here, as erectile dysfunctions and lack of energy are probably the major issues. This is a shame, I reckon, but a civilisational change in this regard is not coming overnight for sure.

 

I think PMO can be used to avoid many personal issues, and when we finally get serious about giving it up, all those issues need to be worked on all at once.

My guess is there's a good amount of people who must build their relationship skills and experience from the ground up. And that's a slow process. But if they're willing to work on themselves, and set good standards for potential partners, then it's a worthwhile process, slow as it may be.

So yes OP I think you're right many (not all) who get over PMO will take a while to transition into healthy sex lives. However, I think we can all agree that for those of us that became addicted, it's a journey of abstinence worth taking!

 

I would say that after a year I started practising NoFap, I kissed two girls in a row.
I also changed a lot of my behaviours. I am on the way of becoming an alpha male, even if some of you hate this definition.
I am sure that without NoFap I couldn't have kissed those girls this summer. I would have been too socially awkward and a jerk to meet some real girls and get laid with them.

I am still a teen, my sex life can't be so active. But I think that NoFap really saved my life.

 

Well said.

I know personally before starting nofap, I was all "I'm gonna have so much sex". Now it's more like "I like the look of this girl and enjoy talking to her, but her values don't really click with mine, I think I'll keep looking, and that's okay".

In the eyes of someone keeping a scoreboard on dates or hookups, it would look like the opposite of progress!

 

fap is wrong u know that .maybe alone people do this and this will kill them so if someone is bad at sex or anything he or she should work on that but fap is wrong.

 

You are assuming that having sex = success. I disagree with this premise.

 

Considering a lot of people become addicted to porn as a way of coping with their issues, and thus dont actively take steps to overcome those issues organically, is it really a surprise that even when they go on long streaks they still dont have the ability to form relationships with people when they lost all prior opportunities to learn to porn? Not masturbating doesnt suddenly bestow someone with social skills, charisma, or sexual desirability.

Having said that, I kinda agree with what some others have said, I also dont think having a lot of sex makes you successful at anything other than having sex. I know I know, "muh biological imperative" or whatever, I've heard this argument before and used it myself not even that long ago, but I've come around to thinking its kinda bullshit because fulfilment doesnt come from getting laid unless you are extremely shallow and/or have nothing more meaningful going on with your life. Do I want to be having sex? I mean sure, but I know my life wont suddenly become better if I do.

 

Good man. Nofap is the way. The way of the real man. And u have results!!

I know now we're "misraised". A man's life ought to be primary in a goal higher than him... A spiritual goal; goal to build society; to slay demons.. Even still this sex power can be reserved to create life .

Women are not a man's primary goal. On so many levels miseducated... Women in fact will hinder your ability to serve divinity... Nicholas tesla, Jesus, Alexandrosss Megas. Ehhem... They had huge goals and hit them without much women or none ... See ? Women should be a secondary goal for a man and interestingly women are far more attracted to this kind of man. That tells me nature is trying to show us the right way cast down the veil of lies created around us . THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!!!!!

 

"To me." Success is a very personalized term. If success had one definition, everyone would try to be the same person.

 

Basically reiterating what most people have said. Alot of people (myself included) intially get into Nofap thinking that it will give us magical powers. In my case I was somewhat willing to believe that abstaining would somehow rewire my brain and biology to make me more of a chick magnet. Im reaching a point now where I'm starting to see that porn and masturbation weren't the whole problem, rather they were symptoms of a much larger problem.

 

To add to this - I don't think NoFap should ever be seen as a way to get women. It is about discipline and taking control of your life, which are more than enough reasons to take part in the challenge. Any other benefits that result from it are a bonus.

 

Agreed. Women are human beings too, not just objects. The whole point should be to take responsibility and discipline yourself. All things considered its kinda ridiculous that it took me making conscious effort to cut porn out of my life to realize how immature some of my views towards women were.

 

Same story with me. I used to think that "objectification" was only something SJWs said to make normal people feel bad. But it is a very real thing and it is a poisonous attitude to have - about any gender.

 

I know people here don't want to judge a men success on how many women he has sex with, or how many relationship he had, but do you really think that guys who are successful with women don't objectify them? Of course you can have respect for them, but do you think that guy who sleep around and are considered attractive by the opposed sex never use them only for their own pleasure?

 

I think what makes guys like that succesful is the fact that they simply have the confidence to put themselves out there. Yes im sure they do objectify them in some way, but I don't think that factors into there succes with women. Regardless though why would you wanna objectify women on the whole? Im not saying treat them all like royalty but treating them like objects solely there for your pleasure is a dangerous mindset.