Any others struggling with a sissy fetish?

At the height of my addiction, I also developed a mild fetish for being sexually subservient to a guy. Like you say, it's based on low self esteem and on porn addiction.

It was only when I was in the midst of actual sex with a guy that I realized it was all bullshit. I had a moment of clarity and realized that I was very much a straight man and never wanted anything to do with guys ever again.

 

I am watched a lot of femdom and humiliation porns and wasted so much money with this stupid financial humiliation. I think my fetish is similar close to yours but in my fantasys i enjoyed to get humiliated and used by woman. I am worried too but i hope with a brain reboot i can find back to the natural roots of sexuality.

 

Hi guys, I feel ya.

I was pretty heavily into that stuff a couple of months ago. I couldn't even O with my gf without the fantasy of me or her with other guys. I thought I was lost in that fetish forever, but beyond my own belief, I'm now 2 months clean of P and sissy fantasies. I can't really believe it. My goal is 90 days with no PMO (only O with my gf, but no heavy fetish fantasies during intercourse). There's hope, guys, stay strong! Feel free to PM me. Trust me, I used that humiliation/sissy P heavily.

 

Hey Boccaist, that is very reassuring and I am determined to get past the 2 month mark like you...

 

Thank you Boccaist, appreciate what you wrote, can you tell to us more about your "Status" after 2 months? About your real sex (You are more strong, I mean more ALPHA?)

 

Thanks a lot Boccaist for the reassuring messages. I am a new user to the community and have lost all self-confidence with all this weird fetishes. I wanna do the 90 day reset and i have been trying it for a more than a month now. But these unusual fetishes flood my mind and then i relapse. The same thing happened twice this week. And it actually happened today after i discovered NoFAP. Seeing the counter made me wanna set it to 0 (although it had been 3 days). I have been single for forever so it is way more tough for me. Any advises people??
Thanks a lot everybody in advance.

 

@melvone1
I status is: very horny all the time, sometimes having a hard time abstaining from MO, but since I have a gf, I get all the action I need there. @Nick123 : It would've been a lot harder if I was single like you. My best tip is to just try to reach the 90 days without PMO, but try to have "real" sex with any girl you can (use a condom ofc). But important: Keep your thoughts off the weird fetishes while you try to O during sex. I think that has been a key for me. Now I barely fantasize while having sex, and my rule is: my gf has to be involved in the fantasy, and it can't be any weird shit (sometimes I think of her and another girl, or her in a shiny catsuit).

 

Good job, I think that is where I'll end up (hopefully) after my 90 days. Only MO to soft P or P subs. Keeping the MO off the weird shit till' it's not even attractive to me.

 

That's because you're not really enjoying it, it's just P that has twisted and fooled your brain. Let's clean that brain up!

 

I wonder if cutting out the MOIng for a while would help as well?

 

It appears that you had difficulty being abstinent at the beginning (true for all of us), so you began the 3-day plan--easing into it--as you say. My experience (and I can only speak of my experience) is that this has been among the MANY games I have played over the years so I can continue my PMO addiction. The value of a 30-day reboot (90-day is better) is that it clears your mind and you're in a much better position to make decisions about your life. I wish there were an easier way, but I've not found it. 12-step thinking says we are powerless over our addiction; given the opportunity we will act. The way out is to employ the "tools of the program" and "a power greater than oneself" (higher power can mean anything from God to this group of Fapstronauts).

The biggest mistake I've made in freeing myself of PMO is to "make internal deals" such as the one you've made. There are 100 others. As others have told me, "no one dies if they don't M." But because we have an addiction to M, we think we can't live without it and the P that stimulates us.

Again, I'm just speaking of my journey, and I'm in the early stage of a reboot. As always, "take what you need and leave the rest."

 

I have never done anything with another guy but again I have done things online that humiliate and degrade myself (nothing sexual) cos I'm quite chubby People have made me eat like a pig and stuff. It sounds so weird but I feel like it's me trying to get a dopamine rush. Now since I have been on NoFap I feel sick just thinking about what I have done and have stopped doing it and genuinely have no interest in doing it again. how can you get rid of the mental scars, I feel like that's a part of it.

 

The key here is not to judge yourself for any fetishes that you have, or have picked up along the way. Like one or two others have said, once you engage in NoFap for long enough, your mind will balance itself out again and will slowly start to "normalise" again, meaning that a lot of fetishes you had will disappear or the desire for them will become extremely faint.

Secondly, and of no less importance, is to deal with the emotions behind why we like what we like. I've got a couple of fetishes too. Maybe I'll share them one day lol.
One fetish in particular that I have, I've had since a child. It's nothing too "weird". It's just something that women do, which turns me on, and it's turned me on since I was about 8 or 9. So I've been aware of it WAY before I even watched porn or masturbated. This means that the certain thing that turned me on is a part of me, and is not there because of some messed up reason, so there's no negative emotions behind why I like that thing. Some desires and fetishes are actually natural, if it's been there before you even knew what porn was, for example, like in my case.

However, I recently started watching some transwoman stuff. Not sure I'd call it a fetish of mine at all. I don't crave to watch it. Due to the emotional work I've been doing on myself since January, I realised that it's something I've always been curious about anyway, and was just honest with myself and realised that there's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm 100% straight, but as humans we are complex (if you haven't already figured out! Haha!)

Another fetish I have is a foot fetish. I like women's feet. Don't get me wrong. It's not like I can't live without these things. None of my fetishes are obsessions. Just little guilty pleasures. I feel for me, that porn was the creator of this particular fetish, because before porn, feet wasn't never something I was into, but the other fetish, was there from a child, way before I even knew what porn was. Both fetishes are completely harmless, so I have no feeling of shame about them anyhow and don't really see them as a big deal.

Once we embrace ourselves and deal with our emotions, we'll understand ourselves more, and many things will become less of a struggle. As I have started to feel ALL of my emotions, being ashamed of none of them, things like NoFap become a breeze. Yes, there will always be moments of feeling horny, but once the core emotions of certain things are dealt with, the neediness and urge to bust nuts at any given time, just because I can, starts to slowly go away. Dealing with your emotions and being 110% honest with ourselves sets us completely free.

 

I definitely share this struggle. But I am focusing more on just stopping PMO because I don't think any of us can just pick and choose the fetishes that are convenient for us. By stopping all related bad habits, we can really be in control. At this point, I stopped feeling guilty and responsible about my sexual orientation. If I can control my bad sexual habits altogether, that appeases my conscience more than enough, and I don't need to try to change my sexual orientation, which is probably much harder to work on directly than controlling my actions.

 

It stems from "us" growing up at very early ages with unlimited access to any type of pornography.

As we delved deeper down the rabbits hole it took more and more to "get off" or be interested.

We also grew up in a time where for a lot of the times we were cumming we were watching a large black dude pummel a small white girl.
We subconsciously developed pleasure from seeing the black guys cum, compound growing up getting your own place and having money you get a freedom to go as deep as you want.

I've been into it for a long time, a few things help.
Try a guy, you wil most likely hate it.
Don't purge anymore just keep it in a box on storage or garage or friends house.
Jack off, like you brush your teeth routinely. Without the build up the "sissy fever" stays down.

What really pushed me past it was forcing my body to no longer be passable so it wasn't as hot. I hit the gym A LOT, and ate a A LOT. When I didn't look like one of the girls from the fantasy it made me feel silly and annoyed.

Lastly I found a girl who I can be open about it with, just talk it out, another kinky person to share the journey.

That's it.

Also do not try Craigslist for your guy or an arcade. Go to a gay bar, or Grindr.