The Lord of the Rings Challenge

i sure did bro , i have no idea who you are. but if you are an old member of the Fellowship, welcome back

Great journey my brother, you are now entering Mordor. Beware!!

“There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume.”

 

well said brother

 

6 days my brave Fellowship. Shredding this Orc skin and morphing into an Uruk-Hai

The following brothers have reached places in Middle Earth. Congratulations!!

@1punchman - Buckleberry Ferry / Shire
@Chakra_Serpent - Ford of Bruinen / Eriador

A big welcome back to our brother @Αλέξανδρος that after a long journey is now entering Mordor . Good luck my brother, we´re with you!!!

Have a great day mighty Companion!!! Here´s JK Emezi once again


"Stop using your emotions as an excuse"

Brother,


If you believe that the negative emotions you feel somehow "prevent" you from accomplishing your main goals....


You're wrong.


Once upon a time, I believed this as well.


I believed that just because I woke up depressed the day after a relapse, I had to cancel the day.


Call in sick to work.


Skip the gym.


Ignore calls.


Abandon my routines.




Then I started studying the habits of my mentors.


Sure, they said a lot of helpful things, but I was really interested in what ACTION they took.

I’ve matured since then, but back in my late teens and early twenties, my “aspirations” were simple:

- Women ( sex and companionship)
- Strength ( physical and mental)
- Wealth ( I had no idea what wealth meant at this time, of course. I was just materialistic)

I didn’t know any better, but that’s was how I judged men.


The biggest thing I discovered was that my most successful mentors- the ones with the most successful careers, longest lasting relationships with beautiful women and impressive physiques, took action INSPITE of their emotions.

They could have receive the most devastating news the day before…but they would STILL wake up the next day, go to the gym, go to work, and complete every obligation they had that day.

They rarely ever spoke about this trait. But I noticed…and it made a huge impression on me.

I realized that this was one of the key factors that separated “Type A” men from “Type B” men.

When I started mentoring men to freedom from porn and masturbation addiction, I noticed the exact same trait in my most successful clients.

INSPITE of their addiction(s), they were successes on the outside.

A man could have an alcohol, escort and porn addiction, yet still crank out 80 hour work weeks,maintain sub 10% bodyfat, take home a 700k salary+commissions, have a beautiful, happy, loving wife , kids who adore him and feel dead inside every single day of the year except when he was acting out.


What does this mean?

It means that :

1) Money, intimate relationship, perfect family and physique won’t make you happy.
2) You are not held back from achieving “The Dream” by your porn and masturbation addiction alone.


Lest I forgot to mention…

These men also had one more thing in common.

They were raised by families or in environments that either expected a high standard from them, nurtured their self belief, or gave them a sense of entitlement- even if these environments and families were abusive.(hence the co-occuring disorders)

The vast majority of other men (myself included), had to LEARN and IMPOSE these beliefs upon ourselves. A task with is very challenging, but even more so when you struggle with an out of control sexual behavior.

The shame, guilt, low self esteem and negative self talk you ALREADY had growing up is magnified by your behavior with porn. That’s why you don’t even believe that you can even function when you experience strong emotions.

When I studied men who went through 12 Step Programs and other “traditional” methods of recovery, I found out even more.

None of these programs acknowledged a mans most primal drives.

Sex, Money and Power.

As a result, “Type A” men who went to these programs either dropped out or gradually fell deeper into hole of their addictions which often ended in the worst case scenario for any addict.

“Type B” men became trained to either repress their innate drive for Sex, Money and Power or “come to terms” with their mediocrity. Basically, accept it and even preach the “virtues” of a “simple life” to other men.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with forgoing your drives and coming to terms with being average. In the grand scheme of things, we are all “average”. Average will exist among even the top 10% of men.

But being “in recovery” forever? Fuck that.

Giving up my dreams because I’d “always be at risk for a relapse”? Fuck that as well.

Implying that as a single man, my only hope for recovery from porn addiction was monogamy via marriage and having sex with multiple partners was a recipe for sex addiction? Oh hell no!

As human beings, we are born with limits. This must be acknowledged. But in our lifetimes, we rarely even scratch the surface of our limitations, much less push against them.

Traditional recovery had become just another tool to keep men average.
As a private client once told me: "My wife admitted that she pushed me to go to traditional therapy and marriage counselling instead of working with you because she was afraid that I would feel that I would figure out that I could do better"
( FYI- two years later, they are still happily married- he is recovered and she's excited about her "new" driven husband)
Traditional methods of recovery worked- but they left men stunted. I didn't want that.
Look at your therapist.
Look around your 12 step meeting.
Do you want ANYTHING from their lives?
I needed a something which helped average men not only end their behavior, but achieve their extraordinary goals in the process.

If I didn’t find it, then I’d build it myself.

Maybe you’re like me. Perhaps, like me, you couldn’t live an average life.
I grew up painfully aware of my defects, the low expectations everyone had for me, and the fact that most of the world wanted me to "stay in my lane" and “go with the flow”. Maybe you did too.

I didn’t stand out. I wasn’t special, gifted, or particularly “good” at anything. I was always “ok” (average) at best and really shitty at my worst.
But my loved ones would treat my “o.k” performance as if I was champion because they believed it was the best I could do and wanted to protect my self esteem. This was the worst thing they could have done.

Did YOU experience that?

Were your first sexual experiences mediocre?

Your romantic relationships always involving you “settling”? (Translation: SHE chose you and you rationalized why she was a “catch”. You didn’t actually “seduce” the woman you really desired)

These things bothered me and if you feel that you weren’t born or raised with certain mindsets and beliefs, IT SHOULD BOTHER YOU TOO.

Your behavior with porn and masturbation is obscuring your vision. You’re so busy medicating the pain of your mediocrity that you don’t even know how the fuck you’re going to get the life you want.

If you take only one actionable tip from this email, take the one I began this message with:

“ Do the things you say you are going to do INSPITE of how you feel and get used to it.”


There is only one more step after that.

Begin your reboot- so you don’t end up like the Type A man who has everything, but feels absolutely unfulfilled inside.

That’s my rant for the week.

Your brother in this struggle,

J.K Emezi"