The START 2021 STRONGER Challenge [CLOSED]

I want to try with you, @BrohkenCompass. I am in!

 

For a more detailed explanation read the post here: https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...d-94-days-and-back-again.290611/#post-2777827

In short, the 3 main things are this.

- Desire (What you want/ how you want to be)
- Environment (Creating a success environment)
- "Dwelling in the winning feeling"

I'd make one last point here: Just recognize the power in simplicity.

Those 3 things really are the foundation and structure of what worked for me (and others).

They are principles that I was taught from mentors before I ever joined NoFap.
Much of my short comings have come down to not sticking to the basics.

Our minds are always looking for "the next thing" or the "secret". We have difficulty just sticking to what works. This leads us astray.

Stick to the basics. Only add on from there. Come back to the basics.

 

I'm just pounding the point that you and @BrohkenCompass have already made for anyone who will listen.

Keeping a streak count (ideally written on a white board in frequent view) of days clean out of total days may help!
That helped me early on.
For example. If you're streak count starts one month ago and you've had 3 relapses it would look like this
27/30.
For anyone who has struggled with relapse, I'd encourage it.

 

Day 35: In 10 days I'll be passed my last streak.

I had an interesting experience today while in the shower. A porn scene popped into my mind.
An ol' favorite of mine.

I was sort of struck by it, by the hedonism of it. By the ridiculousness of the whole matter, my involvement included.
That's not meant to be judgmental, it's just the closest wording I have for it.
It was a subtle, but powerful experience.

Alright, I've written 3 post in a row here.
I'll make some space, hahah.

Peace.

 

@Ian Of Freelandia What do you mean by your "involvement"?

 

I was in the porn.
No, I'm kidding.

By "My involvement", I just mean that I had watched and masturbated to it, multiple times.

 

Oh, god... Ok, then... Good luck, guys!

 

Thank You for your support, Tony. I will check post #820 out.

 

I didn't check these last days because since my last relapse I was not able to gather myself up to restart the journey. Now I believe I have find my center again, so... Day1.

 

Day 32

 

Day 28 done.

I can't believe that 28 days have actually passed. It feels like just yesterday I was posting on Day 2.

It's a trip when you do something like this. In the beginning, it's like "hell yeah, let's do this"...then x days later the realization starts to hit, and then it's like "This sucks". Lol.

The suck isn't due to not wanting to do this, but really just more of having to sit in the experience.

You know what they say...Once you're 1/2 way through hell, no reason to turn around and go back. Just keep going. I am probably only about 1/3 of the way through hell, but I seriously don't want to start over. Earning 28 days is just too damn hard. I would rather just keep plowing forward

Cheers!

 

I completely agree with this. I will elaborate as was relevant to me. The most important things were:
1-Desire
2-Environment
3-Understanding that NoFap is an active process

1) You need the desire/ motivation to quit. I felt that I was better than living a life of PMO that could potentially destroy everything. No relationships, depression, loss of focus at work, no aspirations etc. This motivated me to see that I needed a life without PMO (full stop - no negotiating about p or m or p subs or even worse edging - you can simply do without these things). It helped to stop intrusive thoughts because I did not see the point in them, and helped with overcoming urges - it's only a few minutes of wanking that destroys you.

2) Very important - change your environment. Keep your phone and devices away when alone, do all your work in public places, work out, socialize more, pursue new ideas and projects etc. These help you avoid trigger situations, keeps you busy and makes you positive about things in general as you start to see progress in little things.

3) NoFap is an active process - When the urges come you do not sit there as if you're tied to a chair with a gun to your head. It's your decision to engage with pmo. So push yourself to get away from urges and stop dirty thoughts. Stop yourself. (For unwanted thoughts I used to count to 10 visualising the numbers, for urges I would repeated ask myself "what is the point" until I walked away)

Any negotiating means you do not have the right mindset to quit. Hoping to quit means you do not have the right mindset. This is what worked for me, and hopefully it's not harsh for most people. A no excuses mindset, if you have secondary issues causing pmo start fixing that while doing nofap. Nothing is an excuse.

 

Day 2.

 

I’m sad to say this but I relapsed day 0