Sky Rocket T

Hello everyone, i'm new here.
I'll try to briefly tell my story and why i am here. Please, read the whole story to the end before drawing any conclusion.

I've always been a creative guy, an artist, but even an insecure guy, insecure about the way i looked. Despite people telling me i looked beautiful, i didn't feel like it.
One day i noticed a very little hair thinning and i started taking a truly damaging hairloss pill: finasteride. I did not want to go bald, i already felt ugly...
Shortly, finasteride converts testosterone (T) into dihydrotestosterone (DHT) by inhibiting the 5ar enzyme. And this is all i was told before using it. Truth is that finasteride does more than this: finasteride shuts down the allopregnanolone (ALLO) production, the neurosteroid which makes us happy and calm! Years passed and i felt slowly, year after year, more anxious, then ocd, then depressed, then no more creative and, in the end, suicidal. The package leaflet did not mention these terrible side effects, it only mentioned sexual related sides and, incredibly, i had not. Years after, when i just decided i was plain crazy, that my mind didn't work well, looking in various forums, i found out the truth: it was finasteride. The leaflet, years after, got updated but too late for me and other guys to stop it... I'm no more suicidal or depressed but other guys passed through, they took their own lives. I stopped the medication and looked for a way out. I found a guy who brilliantly cured himself starting with a full detox (fasting) and then doing various things like eating paleo, avoiding xenoestrogens, sun bathing, excercising and... avoiding masturbation. This is where this site comes in!
I noticed that, for me, avoiding masturbation makes a big difference in my recovery!
I feel happier, creative as i used to be, less stressed, and i really have the feeling that, fixing one part of the regimen, i will fix all the others! As in a virtuous cycle.

Last time i fapped was around 7/8 september and i fapped after a 5 months abstinence. How did i feel before that slip-up? Calmer, and even my annoying tinnitus button subsided almost to 0! So, why did i fell? Because after months without fapping i start feeling excited everywhere, everytime, horny with no control. So in those september days i thought that just masturbating without orgasm (edging) might be harmless... Then i thought that just watching a sexy picture might be harmless... Then i thought that masturbating while watching a porn, but without orgasm, might be harmless... and in the end i had an orgasm. And my tinnitus button and anxiety and stress and ocd came back...

What i want, for now, is to stop masturbating at all, i want to fix at least this part of my recovery regimen so i can use time and energy fixing the other parts (diet, fasting, excercise etc.). I wish i could just "forget" about masturbation, i want it to be a thing of the past.

I wish this place could help. I see there's a panic button but i'm still figuring out how this site works. I know for a fact that when i'm tempted i lose my mind, there's no time to think... Is not that i do not care about my goals, simply my goals disappear from my mind, exactly like those times in which i indulge in foods that i should not eat (like nuts, or olive oil... maybe healthy foods for most people but not for my damaged body).

Btw i think that this happened because i had something to learn, understand and, in a certain way, i'm "grateful" to this experience. I'm giving myself time not only to learn no-mainstream science and medicine facts but even to understand many, many things about - citing one of my favourite books, The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy - "the life, the universe and everything".

So, back to talking about masturbation, how can you help me to help myself?

P.S. what is this "post a poll" thing? I do not understand

 

Thank you! Why only one eye, owl?

 

Thank you soooo ❤

 

80 days.
Feel horny.