35 and Older Accountability Group

Day 50 - checking in. Going to try to limit time on this site for a few days. See if I can find another way to divert my addict behavior, that doesn't involve the internet. In one sense I've replaced one internet habit for another, although I'd certainly take coming here than to P sites. It's gotten me to 50 days and for that I am thankful, and to all of my brothers here too that have helped me. Stay strong.

 

keep on the path, you can do this!

 

Thank you friend, it was not without the support of this group and this community as a whole. I am truly grateful to have been shown a better way

 

Checking in. Spent the last week on "holiday," doing lots of jobs around the house.

Feeling pretty positive.

 

Thank you for this group. It is a wonderful experience to be a part of. I feel enlightened today. There is a better way. I don't have to give in. Thank GOD and all of you for showing me the way out. I am forever grateful

 

Wednesday in....

 

Checking...failing miserably again, tough times. Starting afresh today with new commitment and will try and get to 5 days then take it from there

 

Feeling a few urges. Trying to focus on work. Must keep going.

 

Thursday done - just staying on the laptop next to family...

 

Resetting

Feels like ground 0 all over again

 

In a bad slump again.

 

It gets better in time. The longer the clean time the better one feels. For me this is around 60 days. It's also when urges hit me harder.

Not fighting the urges helps me. I embrace them and appreciate them. I allow them to consume me but i do not allow them to manifest in the physical sense (MO).

I do believe my heightened state of arousal has allowed me a particular degree of physical satisfaction that i would not be able to achieve had i given in.

I live on the mental edge of giving into my lustful desires, but remind myself that giving in takes me back to the ground.

Ride the urges out when they hit. They last so much longer than a brief surge of pleasure and the emptiness that follows. And you get to decide how you will use this newly available energy to your own personal gain! Enjoy it.

 

It will pass. This is where we end up. All it takes is one time to start me up all over again.

My last PMO streak lasted 1 month and getting out of that was a hardship.

I am learning to live with lust. It's so much better for me to be 'bothered' all the time, it motivates me to use the energy productively. Like at the gym.

Don't give in to it. It may be difficult at first but when the days add up it's so worth it.

 

phew, hit friday and thats 5 days. feel good about the shark infested weekend. swim fast.

 

I'm in a quitting mood. Really. I may need to just take a break and start again later.