Why some girls do this

Hmmm... I'm not sure if I can speak for anyone, but I think sometimes people in general like to feel desired or wanted, even if they don't want to be with that person in particular. It's kind of like an ego boost. I don't think it has as much to do with being boredom, as much as it has to do with being selfish, and prioritizing how you feel over others. And sometimes, people are too afraid to say no or let others down, so they kind of just go along with it instead of cutting the other person straight. Sorry that put you down so much though. I hope everything's okay now.

 

It's just that some girls do it for attention for what i know, and they do it without even realizing it, so its best not to get fully attached my dude. Let it go, it might hurt you now, but i'll pass.

 

Well man, Let me tell you this, there are good people and bad ones too for whatever reasons, in both genders.

All I'm going to say now is my opinion and based on my interactions and life experiences, so evaluate what I say critically and take it with a pinch of salt.

3 cases of women

1. Empowered kind: Everyone, irrespective of the gender they belong has the need to be desired and loved, this is absolute. While women know that men hit on them and give attention, the empowered kind unlike the other categories doesn't derive her sense of self from the attention she receives from men. She might enjoy it but keeps her ego in check and stays humble. She derives a sense of self way different from various other things and doesn't just rely it on the attention she gets from others. Even she loses attention from men tomorrow and feel sad about it she would not lose her complete sense of self as she knows she is much bigger than the attention she receives.

She could be well educated and definitely wise

They may enjoy attention but they keep it in check

2. Poor Self: And then comes, i feel the majority. And we as men(patriarchy) are responsible for that. Women have explicitly more pressure to meet the standards- beauty, rearing, conformity, etc. And we impose it on them. Due to this their sense of self depends on the amount of attraction they receive, their beauty above character- which is more than it. They take excessive pride in that and sometimes I feel if men stop giving attention to such a woman whose sense of self predominantly relies on her beauty and attention she grabs, her mental composure would be disturbed.

I know someone like this, be it due to societal conditions or poor parenting or circumstances she is the way she is. She rejected me, i took time to move on, and when i did she was shocked and later told me that she couldn't take it although she didnt love me. You can see here, she is just enjoying the attention she received from me, it was a big deal in front of her friends as attention from me (a guy) would make her cool and desirable among her peers.

Attention inflates their ego and they don't know that or don't care about that.

3. Manipulators: They are bit more than women with poor self, and they are bad people man. The line between women with poor self and manipulators is subjective . Women with poor self are not bad but they are conditioned similar to empowered women but they fail to notice this conditioning.

Keeping in mind that there are good and bad people in both genders might help in identifying manipulators.

With this said there could be other types but these are few i noticed. Be careful man, Stand for yourself!. Kick her out or anyone who is toxic. This gives them a chance to change or continue being themselves


I'm very interested if women or anybody would agree with me on this or not.

 

Probably comes down to bad parenting or social media.

I know it's hard but the best advicenI was given was don't get too attached to girls until you know it's someone you can be with.

The truth is most women will walk all over you if you let them.

 

Cuz she is a :

Sorry XD

 

As a woman, dude I can tell you this is not very accurate at all. I like how you've reasoned it out though, and there are definitely some aspects that are interesting. I like how you mentioned the patriarchy, cause' whew that is huge. Mostly, I think its just too basic to apply to people, if that makes sense, because there is so much more to the people we call "women" than empowered, poor sense of self, and manipulators. Honestly, I think there are three reasons women lead men on. One, and I can kinda say from personal experience, is because you're scared. There is so much crap that can happen if you make the wrong guy mad at a rejection, and sometimes people just don't feel like looking over their shoulder every night they take out the trash or something, wondering if something awful may happen just because they said no. I actually think this is a huge reason. There was this one guy and I told him absolutely, postively, that I wasn't interested, and he still didn't care. I legit told my friends about him and his description because I was so scared he would do something crazy... but that's the dark side.

And then there's the attention seekers, which I agree with you on about the name. But I think this applies to both genders. We are a people obsessed with beauty and "perfection" and certain body images, for both male and female, and sometimes if you have what everyone's after, then you do enjoy the attention--and I mean this for male and female. I mean, who doesn't like it when someone tells them their outfit's great. . So I think it has less to do with needing attention to feel great about oneself, but more like reveling in the attention, and getting caught up in it, and not realizing that in the process you're crushing other people's feelings. Kind of like getting drunk on it. If that makes sense?

As for manipulators, I disagree just because nobody is really just a manipulator. There's a lot more too it. Most of the times those people tend to be abusive, and its because something inside of them is kinda broken, (it may be a childhood trauma or a physical trait) and instead of looking for help to fill that void, people turn to others for some sort of validation. I think this also surpasses gender, in that both people deal with this. This tends to come along with narcissism or some other sort of preoccupation with self, but in a self-destructive way that's really toxic.

Okay, I'm not sure if that made any sense, but I just wanted to say something, just because I believe women are a lot more than just three things, and I believe our identity isn't derived from men per say. It's a lot more, well a whole lot more, complex.

 

It does

What i found interesting is the first type you gave, fear of rejection backfire from a wrong guy. I dont think men in general are violent about rejection, again it varies from person to person.

Generalizing the 3 categories that i mentioned to all the women and as the only typology would be very shallow, like i mentioned in my reply there could be a lot other categories. In fact, after writing my reply i couldn't fit many of my friends in 3 of those. There surely must and are other categories.

Well,we would require another thread to discuss men. But even that boils down to this "we are human, socially conditioned imperfect beings". There are good men, bad men (i think you have a problem with labeling people with something negative, I clarified my stand below), and other kinds.

Yes, Everybody does, in a way its a form of social instinct to be accepted into/by the group. And there is nothing wrong in that. As long as it doesn't inflate the ego and especially doesn't harm others it should be fine. It would even lead to increased self-confidence. Which is good.

Agreed

This is true. In most cases no matter how dysfunctional a person, could be because of their childhood bad experiences, insecurities etc. If these go unaddressed, depending on the temperament of the person he/she would adapt bad habits or evil ones- which cause hurt to others.

So what i advocate is, people go through different stuff and experience and perceive them differently. They could be broken, and in a way personally we as a society and as an ineffective system could be responsible for what they have become. Yet they have become what they have become, so it's better we guard ourselves against such people(physically or mentally harmful) if we cant help them.

Hell yeah, we all are. But i feel the identity is partly derived/influenced by men. Because you as a female are constantly pressured to act in so and so way than women think how a man needs to act. I think it is only through knowledge and introspection a man/ a woman can define themselves, or try.

 

Women survive off manipulating men thats just how it goes dont be one of those suckas

 

Imagine if u were born with this power of getting what u want from men simply by flirting with them. How would you use this? Responsibly or recklessly? Chose one? Good. Now think about why a person would choose the other answer.

 

Okay, I kind of feel like we're saying the same things now, which is that no one person or gender group can be reduced to a few categories? Correct me if I'm wrong. I guess my only follow-up question would be, what do you mean that you think I have a problem labeling people with something negative? I'm a little confused on that point? Could you elaborate more?

 

A lot of men and women do this - if you are looking for commitment, be open and honest up front and try to communicate as much as possible. Sorry that this happened to you man.

 

- Attention
- boredom
- or trying manipulate you into simping for them for awhile to use you and feeding you hopes of being with them until they have no more use for you.

 

We are on the same page actually. I named the 3rd category as manipulators for which you disagreed and said there would be many reasons like trauma, abuse for their behavior. I felt you have a problem labeling people as bad outrightly as you're looking at the bigger picture, unlike me, while i'm aware of such people and stay on guard

 

Ohhhhh! I see what you mean now. Yeah that makes a lot of sense. LOL, I do like to look at the big picture and take in all the details. It was nice debating/discussing/talking with you!

 

True as a man i relate to that , im always looking at my body because of gym and i feel great when woman look at me and find me atractive

 

I did the same thing to a girl at a time i broke with another girl, i just used her to feel my emotion gap , i was very low a that time

I eventually felt bad about myself and what i did but it was another times and i jad another age , it was a valid life lession