Jagliana's Journal | An S.O's perspective

DAY 979: 11/21/2020

DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:

• My husband has been honest with me. ✓
  
• Daily talk with my husband. ✓
• Worked on Self-Care as defined here. ✓
  
• Currently Reading: Various
• Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"

---------------------------------------------------
Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
1) Self-care.
2) Healing.
3) Morning Walk.
---------------------------------------------------

Last night, I was trying to figure out a weird glitch with our new tv (always a bad sign lol, but what else is new in 2020). I told Wade to go out and have some alone time with our eldest, I heard them having an engaging talk which lasted almost an hour, although I did hear Wade get annoyed a few times, I'm glad they both were able to share that time without arguing or major incident.

Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Why So Many People Find It Difficult To Meditate", in this episode, we hear a great explanation as to why many people find it difficult to meditate. Remember, meditation is the action of silence.

This morning, we finally got to walk outside, it was cold but we missed nature. We listened to "Steps You Should Take to Deal With Disrespectful In-Laws" a Q&A, on Relationship Theory with Tom & Lisa Bilyeu. During this set, they explore the best ways to handle your disrespectful in-laws who just aren’t showing support for your relationship. They discuss how to stay supportive of your partner and not direct your anger at them, ways to spend time with your in-laws without escalating the situation, why you shouldn’t dramatically change for your in-law’s sake, and why other’s behavior shouldn’t determine yours. I did have a few triggers during the walk, which always ends up ruining the peace of the moment for me - every time, but this is nothing new and it is never-ending, I'm used to feeling this way.

Today, I just want to chill and let my brain relax before the week ahead.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
_______________
For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

What I liked about myself, today:
(I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
Triggered decently, but trying to move through it without snapping.

#Video
Why The Mind Hates Meditation

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------
Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20
---------------------------------------------------

 

DAY 980: 11/22/2020

DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:

• My husband has been honest with me. ✓
  
• Daily talk with my husband. ✓
• Worked on Self-Care as defined here. ✓
  
• Currently Reading: Various
• Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"

---------------------------------------------------
Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
1) Self-care.
2) Healing.
3) Morning Walk.
---------------------------------------------------

Last night, he gave me the trifecta and the second half in a new way, I have to say, although it was technically the same thing, just in a different way/format - I felt 100 x more pampered lol not sure why, I feel like I don't deserve any of this pampering to begin with. Anyhow, we watched some TV as well, then I began passing out, so I went to bed and Wade left for work.

Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Why The Most Intelligent People Seem To Have Fewer Friends", in this episode, Success Secrets TV gives us their list of why the most intelligent people always seem to have fewer friends. Remember, do not confuse education with intelligence, they are absolutely not the same.

This morning, Wade told me about his night at work, how he stood up to an obnoxious coworker who constantly puts him down with disparaging remarks and tries to brush them off as 'jokes'. I am proud of him for calling this guy out, I'm pretty sure that this is all projection and he is putting out on others, what he is feeling about himself and trying to making himself feel better in this way - which does not make it okay either way. Then, during our walk, we began listening to "Personal Trainer Reveals the Mental Obstacles You Create When Getting in Shape" with Drew Manning on Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu. Drew Manning is a health and fitness expert, here they explore Drew’s incredible journey of going from fit to fat to forty and what he’s learned along the way. They discuss the unique struggles people face when out of shape, overweight, or living an unhealthy lifestyle, how to approach body image in a healthy way, why we self-sabotage ourselves when starting out on a fitness journey, how to understand our self-worth, how to become more self-aware, why doing hard things is good both mentally and physically for us, and the importance of finding a community to struggle with along the way. So far we heard them talk about why he is once again going through his extreme transformation, why people have such difficult experiences when overweight, how he approaches discussing body image with his daughters, parenting and the curveballs he faces, why he pushes his children to explore athletics and sports, where his drive for pursuing health comes from, the differences in feeling healthy and unhealthy, he discusses our internal critic that holds us back from going further, how you can develop self-worth and stop self-sabotaging, ways you can practice becoming more self-aware, the power of doing hard things, his inspiring journey of running 100 miles, and how people do diets improperly.

Been thinking a lot about all of the money that has been leaking out of our hands in the last few weeks, with more to follow, it's so annoying - when there's one thing, another always follows - I wish we could find a pot of gold and at least be secure in that dept.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
_______________
For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

What I liked about myself, today:
(I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
No triggers, thankfully.

#Video
10 Reasons Why Intelligent People Have Fewer Friends

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------
Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20
---------------------------------------------------

 

DAY 981: 11/23/2020

DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:

• My husband has been honest with me. ✓
  
• Daily talk with my husband. ✓
• Worked on Self-Care as defined here. ✓
  
• Currently Reading: Various
• Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"

---------------------------------------------------
Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
1) Self-care.
2) Healing.
3) Little One.
---------------------------------------------------

Last night, he gave me another trifecta, I felt uber pampered lol I don't deserve it, I don't do enough. It was nice capping the night off watching the series finale of Supernatural in bed, a nice conclusion to an awesome show - we wish it wasn't ending.

Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “How To Master Your Habits And Take Control Of Your Life", in this episode, we learn how to master your habits and take control of your life from our friends at Pick Up Limes. Remember, of this be sure, you don't find a good life, you make it.

This morning, I had some alone time before a loud, hectic, and 'fun' week ensues. Then my little one woke up and sat near me, cuddling, she is so adorable (when she isn't driving me crazy lol). The chaos hasn't even really begun yet, but because I got up so early I managed to get Wade's video done, some of my own stuff too. Now, I'm going to be getting the kids ready for their full day of remote learning (all week)... because someone tested positive in their school, so it has been shut down for the week. Wade plans to stay up today, so that will be a great help for me, he is home today, as his shift is different tomorrow.

After 6 pm, the expansion of our game launches, I hope we'll be done with all of our daily tasks by then - so we can actually play (if the game actually loads LOL).

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
_______________
For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

What I liked about myself, today:
(I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
In good spirits, even though I am under a lot of mental stress.

#Video
MASTERING YOUR HABITS

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------
Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20
---------------------------------------------------

 

DAY 982: 11/24/2020

DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:

• My husband has been honest with me. ✓
  
• Daily talk with my husband. ✓
• Worked on Self-Care as defined here. ✓
  
• Currently Reading: Various
• Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"

---------------------------------------------------
Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
1) Self-care.
2) Healing.
3) Morning Minutes of Me.
---------------------------------------------------

Last night, we finally got into our game, after waiting for what seems like forever. We played for a bit, but then old age kicked in and everything began to hurt so we had to stop and go to bed. We skipped the trifecta, Wade wanted to watch some tv, but my brain was too low functioning at that point, so he watched and I laid until we finally just went to sleep.

Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “4 Healthy Ways To Spend Time Alone", in this episode, we hear four healthy ways to spend time alone. Remember, if you're lonely when you're alone then you're in bad company.

This morning, before the kids were up, I enjoyed some solitude and silence. Soon, everyone was up and the noise began to fill the room. Now, the day begins and today will be an extra-long one for me, Wade will sleep in because he has to do a double shift, then leave for that shift so everything with the kids falls squarely on me.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
_______________
For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

What I liked about myself, today:
(I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
Keeping my chin up.

#Video
How To Be Alone

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------
Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20
---------------------------------------------------

 

DAY 983: 11/25/2020

DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:

• My husband has been honest with me. ✓
  
• Daily talk with my husband. ✓
• Worked on Self-Care as defined here. ✓
  
• Currently Reading: Various
• Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"

---------------------------------------------------
Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
1) Self-care.
2) Healing.
3) Warm Hugs.
---------------------------------------------------

Last night, Wade was working all day and was only able to stop by for a quick hour to eat, before heading back out for another tour. I had my hands full all day between homeschooling, the kids in general, and my parents too - way too much noise. Let's just say, I passed out pretty quickly.

Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Getting Back Up When You Get Knocked Down", in this episode, Freddy Fri talks about getting back up when you've been knocked down. Remember, in the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.

This morning, I was the first one up and setting up for the day, then the little one woke up shortly after, snuggled up beside me and she was so cute lol. I love her hugs and cuddles, I know these moments won't last. Now the 'school' day has begun, while Wade is still at work... how ironic that I can not wait for the long weekend because there won't be any school! LOL when before it was the opposite feeling "damn, there's a break, ugh, when will school be back!".

I'm been depressed on and off, covid, politics, between our home life (eldest issues), financial burdens piling on after trying so hard to bring them down, weight gain, falling out of routine (not being in the mood for anything), and even feeling a bit disconnected because it feels like the weight of everything else is getting in the way of our time and connection.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
_______________
For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

What I liked about myself, today:
(I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
Loved the fit of this new tank top.

#Video
When Life Breaks You

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------
Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20
---------------------------------------------------

 

DAY 984: 11/26/2020

DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:

• My husband has been honest with me. ✓
  
• Daily talk with my husband. ✓
• Worked on Self-Care as defined here. ✓
  
• Currently Reading: Various
• Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"

---------------------------------------------------
Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
1) Self-care.
2) Healing.
3) Time with the Family.
---------------------------------------------------

Last night, he gave me a wonderful trifecta, I was sleepy and ready for a good sleep... he headed out to work and I went to bed. Little did I know my annoying ass neighbor decided to throw an all-night dance party. She and her loud ass guests kept me up till about 4:00 am, it was beyond ridiculous, there has to be some consideration for your neighbors, seriously. Way to start my Thanksgiving lol, nice gratefulness mood... cursing her and her friends to the depths of hell.

Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “How To Be Your Own Best Friend And Why You Should Be", in this episode, we learn how to be your own best friend, and why you should be. Remember, a true friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.

This morning, the weather was crappy and because of the holiday the mall was closed, so we skipped our walk yet again and stopped by the supermarket instead. My mood was lifted when I realized Wade was home tonight, amidst the chaos, I thought his days off began tomorrow! so I'm grateful for that! Today we plan on having a small meal with our girls, but tomorrow we instead on having both sets of grandparents over for a more traditional/still small gathering to celebrate the holiday. Hoping for a better day and night today.

Wishing everyone a wonderful, grateful, and Happy Thanksgiving!


_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
_______________
For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

What I liked about myself, today:
(I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
Hair felt light and fresh.

#Video
How to be a Friend to Yourself

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------
Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20
---------------------------------------------------

 

Hand, Foot and Back rub

 

DAY 985: 11/27/2020

DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:

• My husband has been honest with me. ✓
  
• Daily talk with my husband. ✓
• Worked on Self-Care as defined here. ✓
  
• Currently Reading: Various
• Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"

---------------------------------------------------
Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
1) Self-care.
2) Healing.
3) Morning Walk.
---------------------------------------------------

Last night, we watched a week old episode of Bill Maher where he made a rather on-point assessment, so we let our eldest listen to it because we feel like she needed to hear it. That devolved into a long-winded discussion about her choices and recent behavior. The end result? more confusion and continued annoyance. At least we went to bed, both passing out and slept all night lol.

Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Easy And Simple Ways to Simplify Your Life", in this episode, we get some simple and easy ways to simplify your life. Remember, a simple life is a happy life.

This morning, during our walk, we finished listening to "Personal Trainer Reveals the Mental Obstacles You Create When Getting in Shape" with Drew Manning on Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu. Drew Manning is a health and fitness expert, here they explore Drew’s incredible journey of going from fit to fat to forty and what he’s learned along the way. They discuss the unique struggles people face when out of shape, overweight, or living an unhealthy lifestyle, how to approach body image in a healthy way, why we self-sabotage ourselves when starting out on a fitness journey, how to understand our self-worth, how to become more self-aware, why doing hard things is good both mentally and physically for us, and the importance of finding a community to struggle with along the way. They talked about the importance of tracking your blood work, how eating unhealthy has affected his libido, what drives him to ultimately return back to his healthy ways, why the first two weeks are the hardest when starting out, the importance of finding your community in your journey, his approach to the Mediterranean ketogenic diet, the blood results he will be comparing while dieting, where you can follow his journey and how to connect with him. We enjoyed this interview and learning about the different types of diets from someone who is talking from direct experience, it makes all the difference.

Later today, his parents are coming over and we plan on having a Thanksgiving dinner together with them and my parents. I hope that it will be drama and stress-free. However, right now, all I know if between my eldest talking my ears off and hearing my little one singing baby shark to Wade in the other room, my head feels like it is being filled up with helium.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
_______________
For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

What I liked about myself, today:
(I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
No major triggers on this walk.

#Video
9 Easy Ways to Simplify Your Life

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------
Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20
---------------------------------------------------

 

DAY 986: 11/28/2020

DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:

• My husband has been honest with me. ✓
  
• Daily talk with my husband. ✓
• Worked on Self-Care as defined here. ✓
  
• Currently Reading: Various
• Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"

---------------------------------------------------
Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
1) Self-care.
2) Healing.
3) Morning Walk.
---------------------------------------------------

Last night, we had a nice family Thanksgiving, all of the food was yummy and there wasn't too much drama going on. I really do appreciate how much work Wade puts in around the house, especially when we have things going on, he tidies up, sets up the place (ready's it for guests) cooks the best tasting meals, basically does everything required for being the best host - I helped where I can, but most of the work falls on him and it is much appreciated. Love you baby and everything you do for us, tirelessly.

Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “How To Meditate: A Guide For Beginners", in this episode, we get a great guide on how to meditate from our friend ***. Remember, quieting your mind is the doorway to a peaceful soul.

This morning, we listened to "Why You Should Never Feel Shame Over Not Having Kids" a Q&A, on Relationship Theory with Tom & Lisa Bilyeu. During this set, they discuss the decision to have children or not is one of the most impactful choices you can make in your life. Whether you decide to go down the traditional route and start a family, or instead to focus on your ambitions and other goals, there is some level of regret that will come into play. After all, whether you have children or not, there is some scarifies that you will have to make. They explore how to deal with the regret you may feel from not having children. The sacrifices you have to make whether you have kids or not, the obligations you have to tend to when having children, what the worst-case scenarios are in either decision, and the other connections in your life that can fill the void of not having kids. Then, we stopped by a car dealership to try and buy a used car, that was a 'hoot', let's just say we left without a car, what a letdown - the hunt for a new car continues.

Then, after my dad left, Wade went to bed - I thought I would have some peace and quiet, once the kids were situated ... but no .. my mom stopped by and sat down to chat... and is still here as I type this discreetly... while my show is still paused, for the last hour and 15 minutes.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
_______________
For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

What I liked about myself, today:
(I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
No triggers today.

#Video
How To Meditate For Beginners

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------
Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20
---------------------------------------------------

 

DAY 987: 11/29/2020

DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:

• My husband has been honest with me. ✓
  
• Daily talk with my husband. ✓
• Worked on Self-Care as defined here. ✓
  
• Currently Reading: Various
• Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"

---------------------------------------------------
Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
1) Self-care.
2) Healing.
3) Sleep.
---------------------------------------------------

Last night, he gave me the trifecta and those massages really hit the spot, because I was on the verge of passing out rather quickly after. We were watching the Mandalorian, I couldn't even finish that because I had to go to sleep. As soon as my head hit the pillow I was out, I don't even remember if Wade came back to kiss me good night before leaving lol.

Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Essentialism: Getting The Right Things Done", in this episode, we learn about essentialism which is the art of getting the right things done. Remember, a lot of things are good, a lot more are even important, but only a few are truly essential.

This morning, I woke up and actually felt like I slept lol which is rare for me. Did my morning exercise, watched some morning cartoons with the little one, and then found a few minutes to watch "Admitting When I'm Wrong" by Doctor Mike. At first, I was taken back, what could he have done? then with a bit of research, apparently he went and partied on a boat to celebrate his birthday and I'm not sure if he was caught or wanted to out himself, but regardless I am proud of him for coming clean and taking personal responsibility for his reckless actions, instead of denying them or making excuses for them. In this video, he admits that he made a mistake and apologizes. He pleads with his audience not to let his lapse in judgment be used to hurt the science behind masks and the other COVID-19 mitigation measures. It is frustrating from a fan/viewer's point of view though, someone who looks up to him and others like him, who have been bringing awareness and advocating for the science and importance of mask-wearing in this pandemic. When folks like him, celebrities, or politicians who say one thing to us, but then don't "practice what they preach" - even if it is one time out of 1,000 - hurts the message. Because one time is enough to kill your message to the ignorant masses who will then continuously point to that 'one time' as proof that 'see, even this guy doesn't follow the rules he preaches'. I credit him for taking responsibility and I forgive him for his lapse of judgment, unlike the many commenters on his page, but I think this will really hurt his brand/credibility, especially on this issue.

Wade is waking up a little earlier today, we have some things to do, fingers crossed.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
_______________
For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

What I liked about myself, today:
(I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
Hair is full of volume.

#Video
Essentialism

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------
Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20
---------------------------------------------------

 

DAY 988: 11/30/2020

DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:

• My husband has been honest with me. ✓
  
• Daily talk with my husband. ✓
• Worked on Self-Care as defined here. ✓
  
• Currently Reading: Various
• Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"

---------------------------------------------------
Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
1) Self-care.
2) Healing.
3) Morning Drive.
---------------------------------------------------

Last night, after spending hours car hunting, we finally settled on one that we really liked but the whole ordeal really took a toll on us, we were exhausted and the car wasn't ready for us to drive home yet, so the process is not even complete yet. We got home late, grabbed a quick bite to eat and watched some tv. He gave me a hand and foot rub, I felt bad because he was so tired, but he told me he wanted to do it, I did appreciate it.

Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Common Habits That Hinder Your Progress Toward Success", in this episode, we learn about a few common habits that many people have that hinder your progress toward success. Remember, successful people, are simply those with successful habits.

This morning, the weather was horrible and Wade was still really exhausted - so we opted to just make a quick run to the supermarket. As soon as we got back home, he went to bed and I went into my routine of monitoring the remote learning effort, while also organizing all of the new paperwork from the car and other various things of that sort.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
_______________
For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

What I liked about myself, today:
(I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
As tired as I am, I'm functioning for my girls.

#Video
5 Habits to Give Up if You Want to Be Successful

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------
Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20
---------------------------------------------------

 

Hello, thank you for reading my journal you've replied to my first post from 2018 - right now we are actually past a lot of these issues, he is almost 3 years PM/relapse-free (in recovery). We still have our challenges but work through them together, daily. I wish you all the best on your own journey!

 

DAY 989: 12/01/2020

DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:

• My husband has been honest with me. ✓
  
• Daily talk with my husband. ✓
• Worked on Self-Care as defined here. ✓
  
• Currently Reading: Various
• Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"

---------------------------------------------------
Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
1) Self-care.
2) Healing.
3) 'Elfie'.
---------------------------------------------------

Last night, our little one still believes in the magic of Elf on the Shelf, so she asked Wade to read her the story in the hopes that it would prompt her annual friend Elfie to appear for the season. Then, he gave me a soothing trifecta that got me pretty sleepy, which is always nice. We watched some TV and then I headed to bed and he went off to work.

Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Why You Take Things Personally And Why You Should Stop", in this episode, we learn why you take things personally, and we also learn why you must stop doing so. Remember, there is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally.

This morning, my little one woke up elated and screaming "Elfie is here!! he is here!! look, look!!" it was too cute, then she grabbed her tablet to start marking the occasion. Just seeing the joy this little toy could bring her brought such a smile to my face. Lucky for that because it gave me a little levity because otherwise, I've been depressed (on and off, but mostly on), I don't feel like myself at all, I feel like I'm gaining a lot of weight, getting uglier and uglier, looking different and to me, that = unattractive and unappealing which = much higher chances of him relapsing or wanting/preferring someone else. Every time he says I'm beautiful or anything similar these days, all I'm thinking is 'yeah ok, does he think telling me this will distract me from knowing he wants someone else'. I'm not in a good place at all, not to mention the worse the outside stuff gets (my eldest and her bullshit, the toxicity of others, remote learning, misc) it piles on top of my own stuff and amplifies all of that times 1000. I feel like I'm trapped and suffocating under the pressure of all this bullshit, sigh. Don't get me wrong, I have moments where I'm happy about some things (like what I mentioned already) but this emotional roller coaster is taking a toll.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
_______________
For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

What I liked about myself, today:
(I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
No triggers.

#Video
Why you should not take things personally

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------
Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20
---------------------------------------------------

 

I have been avoiding meat for a while now for health/gut issues. For me even gaining 1 or 2 lbs derails me, so it is much deeper than just diet. But, I will look into it, thank you.