The START 2021 STRONGER Challenge [CLOSED]

Day 62.

 

@BrohkenCompass - thanks for the suggestion to Universal Man channel. I was at my wit's end yesterday even though I took a very long strenuous workout. By nighttime I was about to give up, read your post and went to this youtube channel and watched a couple of hours of videos. Made it through and stayed clean. Damn I'm 70 days in and these last few days have been brutal. This will be my first holiday season on nofap. I'll need to take my game to the next level somehow if I am going to make it to year-end.

 

Hello brothers - a shout out to @BrohkenCompass - this is what this site is all about. His suggestion got me through another day and provided a resource that I was unaware of to help me stay clean. I hope I can return the favor to someone here someday. Let's all try to support each other like this. Many thanks and stay strong all.

 

Thank You! It’s worth it.

 

Hi Tony,

Family stress is what lead me to my PMO and addictive behaviours in the first place.

I recently discovered that my mother is narcissistic or she has Narcissistic personality disorder.

It was only from going No Contact with her for 5 years, that other family members figured out what she was about and broke contact as well.

It's only by talking to those other family members and other professionals that I've been able to open my eyes.

Stay strong, and stay clean NO MATTER WHAT. Deal with the pain any other way.

 

I want to start 2021 fresh and rebooted.
Today is day 3 of my reboot

 

Day 96 (Had to check where I was at)...

Had some pretty big realisations recently about how my addictions have been given such fertile ground to take root.

It's very deep stuff relating to my family and a particular caregiver who didn't actually care at all.

I have a few things going in the background that threaten to derail my streak. One is the position
possession of a hard drive with a whole lot of dangerous stuff on there (I have the drive, just not the cable that connects the drive to the computer).

As much as I want to keep the physical hard drive.... but delete the stuff from it, it is just FAR TOO DANGEROUS to my recovery to keep it around any longer.

Therefore the only option would seem to be to destroy the drive, take it to the tip, run the giant electromagnet over the top of it and consign it to the rubble, before it does the same to me.

This will say a lot about my priorities, because I am making NoFap a "front and centre" principle of my life, then all potential dangers have to be dealt with, and the importance of anything else has to be adjusted accordingly.

Another thing is that I still receive emails from a gentlemen who scans fashion magazines for me and some other fans. This may have served me before when I was so very much obsessed with this, and they formed part of the PMO/FAP agenda.

The agenda for me has now moved on, and, as much as I hate to cut off this correspondence, it is just yet another sacrifice I must make to stay clean.

When you put NoFap first, a lot of other things will fall into place, but first you have to make some decisions that are tough, but with an obvious outcome.

I hope everyone is staying strong and on course for a 2021 and beyond that they have earned and truly deserve.

 

On this Thanksgiving Day, I have reached 75 days of no PMO, for which I am truly grateful.

Best wishes, All!

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90 days completed. Tonight will see me reach 13 weeks, tomorrow three calendar months.

There’s a lot going on in my life at the moment. My wife is very heavily pregnant, so I could become a father for the first time any day now. However, she is having a few issues, and is barely sleeping, so I’m looking after her, and also trying to keep our home presentable. I’ve also been getting lots of job applications in, many of which are leading to interviews, so there’s scheduling to be done there. All in all, these are busy times, and there is no way I’d have been close to coping before I stopped PMO. Now the shoots of recovery are definitely showing. Even a month ago, it would have been unthinkable for me to be handling all that is going on as well as I am. There’s no going back now, but I need to make sure it stays permanent. And long term.

@BrohkenCompass I was wondering if you (or anyone else) was thinking of starting a new version of this challenge? Christmas to Easter is somewhere in the region of 100 days (it may be 101...), so would be a perfect opportunity to set a challenge. I’d be willing to get things started, because I want to pay back to this community who have been so helpful. Whether or not I’ll be able to follow through with a newborn here...

 

Hi @Schia - may I wish to you all the very best with the newborn when they arrive on the planet

@BrohkenCompass I just wanted to say I'd be very interested in joining the challenge that Schia has suggested. We will need a new challenge to replace this one when it gets to the conclusion.

Hope you can get something set up - thank you for this challenge!

 

Day 67:

Big mix has been going on for me. Good/calm, then stressful events.
Therefore, it's been difficult to make sense of things, and what to do. Trying to make the good decisions or "do the next right thing", yet not fall backwards in the process.

I am moving forward.

Remember to breath deep and smile (this as been advice to myself).

Thanks for being my virtual counselor

 

43 days, my longest streak since 2017!!!!!!! I’m over the moon right now

 

Day 77 - made it through the U.S. holiday weekend here...the family stress turned out to be less than the early polls were suggesting. Had some "shared moments" with the wife for the first time in 6 or 7 weeks. Did not feel any chaser effect whatsoever which is new for me. I think part of that is I really don't care that much about sex right now (any more?). Don't know if that is flatline or a real change in my perspective. It's almost like managing the sexual part of my life is way to much work versus just avoiding it (IRL and PMO) altogether. I don't know wtf is up with this. For today, I will stay clean. When tomorrow presents I will stay strong. I hope the same for all of you too.