Do All Men Desire Other Women??

Nah, some other men desire other men

 

Following to read responses. Like you, when I said I do, my eyes were only for him. I never let them wander. It's like we got one manual and they got another, and theirs was bad.

 

We are all different. I have friends that cheated so they are of course always desiaring another woman. There are guys that desire other woman but they are afraid they get cougth so they don't do a thing. There are other guys that, like you, appreciate the other womans beauty but don't look at them sexuality or have any intention of doing something with them. The are others that, because of their personality, think that her woman is the hottest in the world because they can't stand that anothers woman's man is hotter than his.
Those are the most common types, but I think there are others.

You never know how is he about it until she "show" it to you.

 

I think it depends on every person. Me personally, I notice attractive women, but I don't desire them sexually, I just desire my wife, but it's hard not to tell when someone is good looking, which is way different to feel sexual desire.

In my opinion, if a man desires every good looking woman whom he sees, he needs to work on his mind, the kind of thoughts he has, and the habits he implements in life.

Actually, I've heard of men deeply involved with porn who feel a huge "gotta have it" feeling every time an attractive woman walks by. So, perhaps desiring (sexually) every attractive woman one sees might be a Porn-Induced thing.

Hope that makes sense.

 

I think there's a difference that needs to be made between sexuality and attraction. Attraction is not only about sexuality. Attraction is about personality, compatibility, beauty, both inward and outward, ... basically about the possibility of being a suitable companion. It is this kind of attraction which, in my understanding and based upon my own life experience and observation of other men's experience, widens to a larger group of women over time. When I was a young man, and still single, I could have eyes for only one woman at a time. While attracted to one, no one else could interest me in the slightest. In fact, I had people tell me I should choose someone else because she was a better match--I just couldn't even think of it, being already attracted to the one I later married. (I married my first official girlfriend, though not the first I had been attracted to.)

I believe men in general (most men) will find that as they age, more and more women will appear attractive. I'm not talking about mentally undressing women, or seeing them only as sex objects--definitely not. It's not about sex--at least, it isn't for me. It's more about "love" (perhaps "infatuation"). In my case, there is at least one other woman that I truly feel love for. I haven't told her. I don't plan to. It has nothing to do with sex; it has everything to do with feelings. I believe that many men, if not all, can experience feelings of attraction, romantic feelings, with other women, especially as they grow older and have enough life experience to learn that their wives are not the only possible companion with whom they would be compatible. Perhaps the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence. Perhaps it just looks to be the same color.

I remain faithful to my wife, both in word and action. But I find that my feelings seem beyond my control--I don't know how to stop an attraction. The attraction itself seems to be built in by nature, and, therefore, unavoidable. I wish I could turn it off. I wish I could just forget it. I cannot. It's not about seeing her, either. I haven't seen this other woman for weeks already, but if I think of her (as I'm reminded to do while writing this) I can feel drawn to her in an "I miss you" manner. She truly is a wonderful person, and very special--equal to my wife in many ways, and I certainly do love my wife. I don't tell my wife about it as it would only disturb her peace--and for nothing, as I have no intention whatsoever of pursuing any illicit relationship with someone else. Now, if for some reason (God forbid) my wife should pass away, I might then look seriously at this other woman (she's still unmarried) to replace her. I doubt that will happen, and I don't hope for it either, but my mind naturally likes to have a backup plan--it's just the way my mind works, perhaps this is not the case with everyone.

I've never been addicted to porn. I'm not a porn consumer. My attractions to other women do not make them into sexual objects--my attractions are not sexual per se; they are romantic. And I wish I knew how NOT to have them--to have eyes for only my wife. Maybe not all men are like me--maybe someone can share how it is possible to control or be blind to feelings of attraction toward multiple others. I'd love to learn.

 

I think you're reading too deep into it. Obviously everyone is different but attraction isn't the same as desire. Desire implies you want to have sex (or more) with them. Attraction implies they have traits you like. On top of that, actions are different from thoughts anyway.

In my case, I find most women attractive but I wouldn't say I desire the vast majority of them. I don't see a woman on the street and fantasize about her. At most its "she's kinda cute" and then I move on. I don't think its entirely dissimilar than you thinking some men are handsome.

 

I think most men will feel attraction for other women just like sometimes most women will feel attraction for men other than their husband. I think this is normal. It seems like we are being brainwashed to believe that men are non-monogamous by nature and women, monogamous. I disagree. It's all about choices you make. We all have temptation. I do think though, that with the accessibility of pornography that a lot of men are choosing lust. We all have to WORK to avoid temptation.

 

Desire other women s just a bug, ls part of the animal consciousness that humans can trascend .

 

Something I shared with my wife the other day:

"Hun, I was scrolling through LinkedIn, and I found a lady with a somewhat inappropriate profile picture. I got stuck on it in a way I shouldn't have. A moment later, it dawned on me, 'Wait a second! What are you doing? You don't need this lady's boobs. You already have your wife's boobs. You really like your wife's boobs, too! Move on."

It happens. As a man, I'm attracted to women in general. However, that dynamic doesn't compare to how I'm attracted to my wife in particular (when I'm not using PMO).

 

was she understanding or did she get mad?

 

Understanding.

We have a conversation every single night and I share things like this.

At first those conversations were uncomfortable, but after a few of them we learned how to discuss these things in a way that supported my recovery.

 

Good question I have been off here awhile but doing well. I hae gone 33 days with no masturbation compared to at the beginning 4-6 times a day so between 132 and 198 less orgasm cant believe it. Point is I am not cumming unless through sex with another real person, and 2 times over last 33 days wife had sex with me her iniitating so backed up a little all women seem more attractive too me. compaed to 6 weeks ago where only trashy slutty big titis ass did it for me. so i do not think it can be avoided but the beauty i see in woman is changing to more realistic I guess.

 

Why, because your not a man its how we are brains visually wired what draws us to porn too. IMHO

 

Women don't lust after men visually in the same way men do. But women, when we feel emotionally starved by our husbands are vulnerable to the attention we may get from other men. I view this to be the same thing, only different. Men focus on sexual needs. Women focus on emotional needs. We are both vulnerable in our own ways.