The Lord of the Rings Challenge

yep, just like a brother said before: instagram is the witch-king of Angmar

 

i totally understand bro. i collapse like that a couple of times, and yes, it´s hard to explain indeed. what i learn is that once you have your mind straight about not fapping that moment, you have to change the situation/circunstances fast. don´t stay in a idle situation because the urge is still there.

 

yep, stubborness, one of my problems also . and i had to fall a lot until i admit that i needed to stay accountable daily in order to keep sobriety running. accountability is not bullet proof, brothers can still relapse for other reasons, but accountability sure increases motivation and responsability to the reboot process.

stay with that decision bro

 

i upgraded you yesterday bro . But congratulations once again . Keep going!!!

 

One more day mighty Companion

Nothing to report today among the ranks of the Fellowship, so let´s give a wave of support to all our recently fallen brothers @Onan the Barbarian @PerseveranceToday @DudeAlex @Starboii @Zapy97 @bmcmanansmith . Rise my brothers, you can do it We´re with you!!!

Have a great day brave warriors!!!

Here´s JK Emezi with a powerful insight.

"I have heard this time and time again...

I hear you, brother.

Are you struggling with the idea that you have to let go of porn and masturbation FOREVER?

Do you find it hard to stay consistent when that fear comes up??

I have heard this time and again from people in the reboot community: “ I don’t know if I can go without sexual release forever, J.K”.

I can totally understand because I used to think this way too. In fact, I even got depressed a few times while trying to reboot thinking of how dull and empty my life would be without pornography and masturbation.

This is why I am here today to tell you about a story of how I came to let go of this belief.

Years ago, I felt incredibly depressed and deprived as I approached close to half a year without porn or masturbation.

I kept telling myself that “ This is for your own good. Soon, you will feel better.”

It was a lie I was repeating to myself day after day.

I had an “aha!” moment that forced me to change my belief.

Today, I wanted to quickly write this email to share with you 3 reasons why the idea of “permanent abstinence” is not true.

Let us break things down once and for all!

● I realized that I felt WORSE carrying the burden of abstinence than I did relapsing!
Think about it. When you are watching porn- at the very least, you are comfortable with that mediocrity and pain. Its pain you are familiar with. You know that you could quit if you seriously put in the effort.

But when you decide to be abstinent FOREVER, your unconscious mind realizes that you are choosing to suppress a natural, healthy urge. So you end up fighting it every single day. The 12 Steps and some other approaches emphasize the “one day at a time philosophy”.
One day at a time of suffering? No thanks.

● Instead of focusing on the areas of life that you are medicating with porn and masturbation, like loneliness, strong emotions, unresolved issues and so on, you end up focusing on one thing: ABSTINENCE. The deeper issues are not resolved and even if you wanted to, you are so focused on “one day at a time”, that you don’t have the mental capacity to identify deeper causes.

● You never grow. Outside of a therapist who went through an abstinence model of quitting their addiction, when was the last time you came across a man who was actually living the life YOU wanted to live who claimed they were still “in recovery”?
Its rare because when you practice full abstinence, you are forced to live a lifestyle which justifies suppression of core human instincts.


You should be learning to control you behavior, developing coping strategies around strong emotions, discovering your unresolved issues, making pornography less relevant in your life while changing your beliefs about masturbation, sex and women.
Removing the pressure of slipping, removing the requirement of "I must never masturbate" ironically helps you realize that masturbation isn't as important or relevant as you've made it out to me.

Thats how you truly reboot and live a healthy, sexually fulfilling life.

As you can see, the thinking that I needed to abstinent forever is actually untrue... I will always remember that fateful day when I realized that I could end my porn and masturbation addiction without having to be abstinent from all sexual behavior outside of sex with my partner forever.

It freed me to live a richer, fuller life.

Here’s to better things to come, brother.

Your brother in this struggle,

J.K Emezi