i think i became autoginephiliac

I'll tell the short version o the story, but when i started looking at transwoman porn i was with a lot of shemmales, and after that, that kind of porn was kind of boring, so i turned to crosdressing, and started doing it in secret. Buying, purging, the whole cycle.
Afterwards I got into this hypnosis sissy feminization videos that are like crack.
The thing is for about a year I started doing it a lot more, I got an instagram account and all (and i think i look hot, i get lot of messages).
So, here is when it strts becoming interesting. Up until that point i never had a problem with performing with a girl, in fact the opossite. But i broke up with my girlfriend and i started doing lot o cocaine, watching this hipnos videos, going on grindr with mi pics trying to make men horny for me (at least i never did anything more than that.)
y experimented with a guy, toys in my anus (some do feel nice).
I ¡f looks fine, if i'm happy what's the problem

I then stopped my cocaine addiction and got together with a couple of tider dates. I's been a year since i've had sex so i'm anxious.
Mi dick was undepreforming, could'n get hard enough. bad place.

And back to the present, i reunited for a week with mi ex. I find her hottt, i has a perfect body. and the first time that we had sex i started with mild erection but then i got relaxed and ended fucking her 4 times and one in the morning.

But the next day we met we tried again but i was nervous and i could not get exited enough, and that happened one more time.

So mi fetish is crossdressing and i have this compulsion of trying to get fucked with a guy full in dress. the thought of me being the gil makes me horny, but i tried that in anotheer ocasion with a friend but it wasn't my thing.

I've read about autoginephilia.
I want to start doing NoFap but i just cant stop masturbating. I tried without porn but i still have those fantasies of being fucked, So i dont know what to do really.

HAs anyone a similar story, has rebooting clmed that. I just want to be able to fuck a girl.
If i like crossdressing as a part of my life im fine qith that but im strting to think they are connected.

So any help is welcomed

 

My problem is that i can go some days without masturbating, and more days without porn. But after like 5 days i cannot take it anymore and masturbate. This weekend i was alone because of quarabtine and i tried to masturbate to anything, and its like i cannot get hard with porn anymore. Not even the sissy ones made a difference. Still i had a zopiclone and smoked weed so maybe that was the issue. But k took a step. I deleted my scruff account, and stopped logging to my crossdressing instagram account. Last time i masturbated to the sissy porn hypnos i felt dirty and that was it form me.