The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Try not to think about it too much, that's how I get my longer streaks

 

Day 4. My girlfriend and I broke up. I am full of self-doubt and worry that PMO for a long stretch of time will cause me to relapse, while at the same time dealing with all of the emotions that come with a breakup. I will stay strong through this and keep my eye on the horizon. I am thankful for the support of this community. It makes a huge difference.

 

is this challenge still on?

 

Sure it is!

 

76 Days!! Let's do it!

 

Thank you @RiseToGreatness!! These words of support light a fire inside me to persevere

 

Day 6.

 

Best one meditation to start with is simply sit somewhere in a quiet place where you wont be disturbed,put your phone into the flight mode and set a timer for 10 minutes(this would be for start later you can increase time as you grow comfortable) close you eyes and concentrate on the air as it goes in and out through your nostrils,leave everything else behind for those 10 minutes they are you world and your life,if other thoughts-memories barge in be aware of what they are and what you are doing .Just ignore them and return to your meditation's object.The progress in you meditation practice you can judge by the amount of distracting thoughts ,the less you mind gets distracted on them the better you are doing.Keep practicing everyday,make it a habit and it will expand your awareness tremendously.

 

Checking in !

 

Still day 3 until 8:30PM tonight, but I thought that I would post now to give an update. I got triggered yesterday by a picture of this young bikini model. I saw a reference to her on Facebook, so I looked her up, and I say her and I was definitely turned on. However, I was quickly turned off and quite disturbed when I realized that she is 14. I was surprised to see a 14 year old bikini model online and though I had the urge to look at porn or at the very least, MO, I instead posted in my porn addict support group through this website, and the urges went away within a few minutes. It was definitely a close call, and I had seen her pictures about an hour after my post on here last night, and when I thought she was an adult, I was definitely attracted to her, but I felt super gross after realizing that she was just a mature looking kid. It made me think of the NYTimes article that came out recently about PornHub featuring child pornography and sex abuse, and how they were slow to combat it because they were profiting off of it. It is sick that we sexualize kids in this world, and I feel gross to not realize that she was a kid until I looked her up. With that said, I did not go any further. I closed out of the tab, deleted the search history, and focused on other things instead of doing what I would have done in the past and masturbated to sexual images (though not explicitly to her, as even though my mind can be depraved from years of PMO, even that is too much for me). I am just glad I resisted. It was an empowering moment to resist the urges, and a wakeup call that we do not always know if the people we are looking at are actually consenting adults, and that is as good a reason as any to give up porn and porn-sub.

Best,
Mathman1994

 

Checking in Day 2

 

Day 188

 

Day 145