Space Marine January - Team Deathmatch (CLOSED)

Day 20 done.
Day 21 checking in.
-Black Templars-

 

I feel obligated to report that I fell again to PMO. After a streak of only 5 days, too...this feels like I'm slipping, like my progress is slowly being erased. I don't want to go back to that lifestyle! I don't...

 

Thank you for your words brother..
I will surely check that app...
And i am very happy to tell you that I am feeling really really amazing this time...
This struggle definitely will give us a blissful end

 

*sister

 

Its okay. I am sister myself...

 

Sorry relapsed twice in one day

Quarenteen fault ....it sucks sooo much idk if im able to ubstain PMO while on lockdown

 

Still fighting brothers.
But today I felt besieged by urges, betrayed by my own thoughts. I ended up being hooked up for almost an hour to P. I would consider it a reset if I hadn't been able to retake control of myself and quit everything, which is a huge success to me considering how things degenerated in the past times.
I will take what happened as a sign that something was wrong; though I didn't count that as a relapse, I won't go ahead pretending nothing serious has happened. First change, back regularly here on the battlefield to provide you with memes.

 

Check in!

 

Ok guys I think I have narrowed it down to 2 things.

1- ignore that thought and donot entertain it.

2- lower your gaze the second it falls on that girl/ that scene and donot entertain the thought.

 

@EndPornLiveLife Thank you for the motivation. Part of it was not sticking to my schedule. I like to lay out a general plan of tasks to accomplish each day, and if I get lazy and avoid them, it opens the door for me to slide in other areas, such as in the fight against PMO.

 

I hope I am not too late! I am still in the battle. I have been so busy. I have taken too many projects and now I am being crushed under the weight so much so I am beginning to be paralyzed by anxiety. I have been escaping lately by using YouTube instead of porn. It is funny that I feel the same emptiness (as watching porn) when I binge on YouTube maybe because they both affect dopamine. I don't know. I have to drop some projects whether I like it or not. My people pleasing ways are setting me up for failure.

 

Damn I know this feeling. I'm kind of in a rut now, too. Primarly beause I binge watched some show together with my SO yesterday. I should have wuit after one or two episodes, but now I feel so depleted and empty. (therefore I reset my counter. I do this everytime I break one of my rules)

 

I've relapsed twice so far this month. I'm currently reading The Easy_Peasy method so hopefully I can come back in February and defeat PMO.

 

This was one big puzzle piece for me, too. Great resource and so true. I just have to keep reminding myself of this truth

 

Month 0/12

Apologies wolves. I am out. Last night was one of those nights...

I was ok then in the evening I came across someone who was very rude and that didnt go down that well. Then in the night i had a one of the mose weird dreams but it was stressful. And then i just gave in. I could have easily said no as i felt very much in control but i chose not to and here I am.

I dont know how this works but I will be joining back in.

I have noticed that people unreasonable behaviours affect me disproportionately. It's either ppl or it's me. Dont know. Anyway it would be helpful if you can share your wisdom on how to develop thick skin.

Awoooooooooo

 

It's good to see professional help when needed

(just a heads up: you might want to consider if this particular therapist suits you with the approach. There are many in the field thinking PMO as aok and absolutly healthy. Many female therapists might have a heavy emotional approach to things (I do not say emotions are bad, but there are many ways to go about them. Just endlessly expressing them might not what you want. And lastly there are some that might "trap you in therapy" where you got endlessly working up those past events, but never really try to constuct anything for the future. (might be the dilemma that therapists are needed in bad mental states not in good ones))

But nevertheless I wish you all the best

 

@Primaris sorry to read that you are struggling.
It always helps me to remind myself with some classic stuff like:
"Everything changes. Sometimes it rains. Sometimes it shines."
Nothing lasts forever." - that applies to everything, both positive and negative

Just hang in there. It will go away itself. Time is the best healer. Staying patient. Accepting the pain. Trying your best to deal with it by yourself. That so underrated imo.
Ofc I have no idea whats your past, what is your background. So I am not saying deal with it by yourself. I am just trying to suggest that start trying yourself, rather than reaching out for some therapist help.

I have experience with one of my friend who got nicely fucked up by one of the therapist.

I wish you all the best!

+ always remember what you achieved with creating this challenge. The september challenge was the only reason I reached some reasonable streak. I noticed how life is without non stop 1-2-3day masturbation. The challenge, your idea, your time, which you put in creating it, all of that helped me and pretty sure many others too, in digging deep and at least seeing how life is wihout addiction. You helped me more and others, more than you realize. So you have no reason to feel bad about yourself! Chin up and hit it as hard as possible next time! We all going to get there eventually.