60 days in

Yea, I feel you.

My viewing is "accidental", browsing trends on twitter, hoping I'll run into something, a lot of it's kinda twisted too, stuff I would normally find exciting is met with disgust (I don't need to tell you how warped the furry community is, but it keeps cropping up), it stupid and I should stop.

 

No judgements here.

 

I used to see these threads as an opportunity to tell people to meditate, work out or whatever other self improvement thing I can think of. But lo and behold got back on Instagram last week and all I looked for was bikini models. Today I got rid of all those accounts, and retraining the stupid algorithm to show me artwork, design and coding stuff. Feels weird, but just gotta let my mind get used to the new shit I guess.

 

Well like anything, I guess it has a good and bad side, it's just the bad side seems particularly insidious, but each to their own, I'm in no position to judge considering the depths I sinked into. XD

 

Teasing is a real problem the we addicts face. We intentionally put ourselves in these positions because we know there is a good chance of giving in to the temptation and relapsing. Little by little we chip away at our resolve until we finally give up. It’s a typical self destructive behaviour of addicts because the end objective is obviously to get another hit.

my friend, if you really just want to stop then do so. Honestly just think what’s not letting you stop? Nothing except your own addiction. Simply remind yourself that these are the exact situations that will separate a successful step forward from another failed attempt at getting clean. If you haven’t relapsed yet then take that as a win and build up on it. Pull the handbrake and walk away from it before one day it really is too late. Today is not that day, so you haven’t lost yet. You can do this!

 

Keep going man.