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The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by RiseToGreatness, Sep 22, 2019.

Page 586 of 1919

Jan 26, 2021 #11701

crazyhorse11 Fapstronaut

578

4,463

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OttarrTheVendelCrow said: ↑

Day 49. I am looking forward to celebrating making it to 50 days. I am proud of myself for going the distance and committing to this 90-day reboot. I need to stay diligent and see it through to completion.
Click to expand...

Well done on reaching 50 days @OttarrTheVendelCrow!!!

crazyhorse11, Jan 26, 2021

crazyhorse11, Jan 26, 2021

#11701

rotten_tomato, Johnthesavage, RiseToGreatness and 4 others like this.
Jan 26, 2021 #11702

crazyhorse11 Fapstronaut

578

4,463

123

Slider8 said: ↑

Yeah me too I usually don't drink anything when running but today I had 400ml of water while running. I ended up running marathon in 4 hours and 50 minutes ! Last two hours of it I prayed to finish what I started and they were a torture( Runners know what I'm talking about it's when you have calves,knees,buttocks and spleen,+ ,aching at the same time.It feels like ripping you apart from inside. It's a pain in every step you take.). Lost 3.5 kg while running it.But it was worth it, because at the end I felt great with sense of accomplishment of the difficult task and very good mood and a sense of kindness, especially towards other runners .
Click to expand...

Great achievement well done

crazyhorse11, Jan 26, 2021

crazyhorse11, Jan 26, 2021

#11702

rotten_tomato, Johnthesavage, RiseToGreatness and 5 others like this.
Jan 26, 2021 #11703

crazyhorse11 Fapstronaut

578

4,463

123

LuckyMan said: ↑

17 days. Avoiding HALT. Hobbit naps.
Click to expand...

What's HALT?

crazyhorse11, Jan 26, 2021

crazyhorse11, Jan 26, 2021

#11703

OttarrTheVendelCrow, rotten_tomato, RiseToGreatness and 3 others like this.
Jan 26, 2021 #11704

crazyhorse11 Fapstronaut

578

4,463

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ULYSS3S said: ↑

Day 7 finished! First week is completed. I had severe brainfog today an didnt feel pretty good. Nevertheless, I am happy to have completed the first week. May many other successfull weeks follow!
Click to expand...

Congrats @ULYSS3S !

crazyhorse11, Jan 26, 2021

crazyhorse11, Jan 26, 2021

#11704

OttarrTheVendelCrow, rotten_tomato, RiseToGreatness and 5 others like this.
Jan 26, 2021 #11705

crazyhorse11 Fapstronaut

578

4,463

123

Mr. Sinister said: ↑

Day 2

I think these first few weeks of no PMO are going to be easier than normal. As mentioned in the above post by me from yesterday, my dog is no longer with me. I have no time to think about masturbation. I would like to thank everyone who took the time to respond. It means very much, and I am also glad some people related to what I said and got something from it.

So, no real urges, which means that luckily my HOCD isn't on my radar right now. I am getting a new dog tomorrow, as per what seems to be a tradition now (a new one right after an old one is gone). I will be jogging with it three times a day to keep myself active and this new dog's energy levels down. She is a german shepherd husky mix with two eye colors. We will be naming her Grace if she doesn't have a name from the shelter already. She is 1 and a half years old. I would say it will be vital to my healing process once my brain stops shielding me from these emotions I know are deep down inside me. I felt perfectly fine today, but yesterday I could barely keep from sobbing (regrettably I didn't allow myself to). I guess I grieve differently from the rest of my family, who seem unable to function normally. It's gonna hit hard once it does hit.

Day 2 is out, I will make sure no reset is ever needed. Good night, everyone.

Miss you Toby <33

A picture for you all:

View attachment 36430
I will probably stop mentioning him after a while, but it feels right to get him out there to remember him
Click to expand...

Thank you for sharing your grief, it is very inspiring for those of us who strive to connect to our core also.
Keep the stories coming about Toby! I never had a dog, though I did want one, because circumstances never allowed.

crazyhorse11, Jan 26, 2021

crazyhorse11, Jan 26, 2021

#11705

OttarrTheVendelCrow, rotten_tomato, RiseToGreatness and 4 others like this.
Jan 26, 2021 #11706

crazyhorse11 Fapstronaut

578

4,463

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RiseToGreatness said: ↑

Good evening my brothers.

I´m sorry to inform that i have relapsed. With easy_peasy i was very determinated (and still am) to quit pmo for good, but i reckelessly didn´t follow my triggers prevention plan that easy_peasy recommends. so it was not a relapse of the mindset - there´s none positive aspect that i regard about pmo. it was just a pure slack of avoiding triggers, i let the addict side take over, fishing started and when i became aware of the danger it was too late.

i still have the mindset of never pmo again so i feel very solid and calm about it, happy in fact to be over with this shit. i just need to make the proper adjustments to my daily life which are plain and simple follow my well stablished triggers prevention plan that i neglected because i was very sure i would never pmo again.

what sucks is to go back to orc and i collapse on the start of my journey (day 15), once again proven that this period is very sensible for the members of the Fellowship.

in order to boost myself in this final journey the first 90 days will be: no pmo, then after that: no pm. i´m aiming to a better, faster and more powerful reboot. this is gonna be a challenge since i never stayed more than 18 days without sex. but i want to do this because i know this is the best path for me.

today also a good coincidence happened. I found a excellent newsletter of JK Emezi that covered my long time problem with fishing and substitutes that lead me once again to relapse. please take your time to read Fellowship as this might help you too.

Have a great day brave Fellowship. I may have fallen but this will be my last march.

I swear it.

"Hey Champ!

I want to talk about a question that came in from a brother recently because it’s a great question. It’s one that I think many of us can relate to in the Porn Reboot program. It’s also a crucial part of overcoming your pornography addiction and eliminating the accidental slips in your life. He wrote:

Hey brothers,

I have managed to stay away from masturbation for a long time, thanks to the program. I've also stayed away from pornography for the most part, except for some slips which were not picked up by my pornography filters.

However, I've had a hard time getting rid of what you would call substitutes. Like whenever I see an attractive actress in a movie, a beautiful musician, or a stunning girl in real life, I want to check her out online.

Also, I have a hard time sometimes stopping myself from checking out bikini or lingerie pictures. I've added most online shopping sites that are an issue for me to my filter. But it always seems as if pictures are slipping through still.

I've also blocked Instagram and Twitter, which used to be triggers. I still have Facebook because of necessity, both for work and for the program, so it works okay for me most of the time.

Any ideas on how I could deal with this issue?

Let me break down my answer for you.

There Are No Substitutes

The first thing to do when you find yourself in this situation is you've got to examine your beliefs. In this case, that starts with the idea of the word “substitutes”. Do you see these things as substitutes?

When you're serious about your reboots, there are no substitutes.

Everything mentioned comes under the umbrella of pornography for this brother. This is probably the case for you, too. If you’re looking up pictures of actresses online, or even women you’ve seen in real life, it’s a slip. If you masturbate to models wearing lingerie or bikinis, that counts as a slip.

If you become aroused by viewing these images, you should treat it the same way you treat any other pornographic content. It doesn’t matter whether other people see them as “lesser of two evils”. Once you slip it’s going to feel the same way. Whether you slip on a porn site or a shopping site, all slips lead to identical feelings of shame.

Dissect Your Behavior
Once you accept that substitutes are no longer acceptable, now you need to look at your behavior. The best way to do this is by writing it down in your journal as an exercise. You want to really dissect what it is that you’re doing when acting out this way.

Ask yourself, “Why am I looking up an actress, musician, or woman in real life online?”

Why do you do this? What is the purpose of that behavior? It doesn’t matter whether you saw her on the big screen, the small screen, or in real life. Why do you automatically feel the need to search for them on Instagram?

Have you ever even paused to ask yourself this?

If you’re like most of us, probably not. You’re likely stuck in a thinking loop that you’ve never bothered to question. Once you dissect the behavior, though, you realize it doesn’t serve any logical purpose at all. There’s no good reason to look her up online that isn’t connected to your addiction or out-of-control behavior.

Porn Substitutes Stem From Objectification
Here’s the root of the problem: when you look this woman up online, you’re objectifying her. Your urge to look her up online implies that what you’ve seen of her already is not enough. It isn’t enough for you until you can find more images of her and judge her from a sexual standpoint. Until you can objectify this woman, it’s not enough for you.

Now you need to ask yourself, “What does this say about me?”

When you have a habit of objectifying women it will ruin your relationships with them for as long as the behavior continues. You cannot truly love a woman because you value her only for her looks, not for her as a person.

You likely don’t realize these things you view as porn substitutes only make the problem worse. You’re looking at these women as objects, not as another human being with attributes for you to appreciate. She has value outside of her looks but you’re incapable of seeing them when you’re valuing her only on her appearance.

The problem persists even after you’ve cut pornography and other out-of-control behaviors from your life. You’re not going to progress in your reboot until you address this core internal issue. You must work through your objectification of women if you want to overcome the desire to look at these substitutes.

Strengthening Boundaries Takes Practice
Your Porn Reboot won’t be successful all at once. It takes practice to build these internal boundaries. Pornography is a clear issue for every man who comes to the program, but many neglect to consider why these substitutes are a problem, too.

Part of a serious reboot is examining each of these boundaries as they come up. Unpack your behavior.
Why are you doing the things you do?
What do you hope to achieve by taking a certain action?
The more you dissect your behavior, the more you understand yourself. The more you understand yourself, the stronger your boundaries become.

Each time you find that your inner addict is searching for something and find it, it’s time to sit down and examine it. Rebooting takes time but you’ll make progress as long as you’re committed to the process. It doesn’t happen overnight but you’ll continue progressing as long as you stick with the system.

Your brother in this struggle,
J.K Emezi"
Click to expand...

Thank you for staying with us @RiseToGreatness. No matter where you are in your recovery, we need you guiding us along the quest!
You've prob seen this before, but if not then who knows it might be of help:
https://thefreedomfight.org/30-day-challenge-sign-up/day-18-relapse-and-reality-video/

Thank you again for everything you are doing for us - your forum is a paradise island of calm for us all in a sea of fury. January is nearly over and Spring will soon be on its way - so please stay with us, please keep being our guide and mentor.

crazyhorse11, Jan 26, 2021

crazyhorse11, Jan 26, 2021

#11706

OttarrTheVendelCrow, rotten_tomato, Johnthesavage and 5 others like this.
Jan 26, 2021 #11707

Cartographer Fapstronaut

460

2,856

123

Day 12,

Had a nice snowfall last night. Online lecture later and keeping strong with my goals. Intending to find time to practice more piano, however, I am finding that if I intend to do all of my class readings I have just enough time to eat in a day hahahaha.

Best to you all! Onwards Fellowship!

Cartographer, Jan 26, 2021

Cartographer, Jan 26, 2021

#11707

rotten_tomato, Johnthesavage, RiseToGreatness and 8 others like this.
Jan 26, 2021 #11708

Slider8 Fapstronaut

2,955

12,485

143

americanbison said: ↑

Coming out of a relapse realizing that I pushed myself too hard, which had a root in an inflated ego and a lack of self-acceptance. I have tended to put a huge amount of pressure on myself too quickly - a cycle of stress and burnout that I'm starting to see play out over weeks' time. It's disappointing to see how I failed myself, but I'm still here and will keep building each day. Here's some analysis:

The context: I was working in my office alone. Usually I have work to communicate with a team about, but this day, I'd decided to work on a big new project that's solely my responsibility. There are quite a few legitimate reasons for me to feel a high amount of pressure about this project, but I will admit I went into this day unprepared to deal with that aspect, thinking, "I just have to work on it." In hindsight, I've nearly slipped before with this mindset. I was sitting there not knowing what exactly to do and unconsciously beating myself up for it. Then to top it off, I hear this guy, who has a history of provoking negative feelings in me and who I try to avoid if at all possible, come into the building.

The critical rationalizations: "I can't go downstairs now because I can't talk to this asshole. I can't get caught journaling at work. I have to stay on my computer. I don't know what else to do." All of a sudden I start discovering opportunities to slip. "These aren't anything wrong. This is new." I was feeling trapped inside myself and thought I'd made too much progress to fall back into it. Each little transgression contributed to further rationalizations throughout the evening as I lost a mental/emotional battle with myself.

The lead-up: Since Jan 2, I've been struggling with sleep and managing pressure at work. I've made a lot of improvements in these areas since starting the program, but they're still the biggest external factors that challenge me, and they both affect each other. December was actually a bit easier on me because I was working from home, could sleep, and wasn't within earshot of people. That all changed with the new year.

The tools & response: What could I have done differently that day? I could have journaled. That probably would have been effective in shifting the mindset I had leading up to the slip. What can I do now? From now on I will be focusing more on developing my self-talk about my own insecurities and weaknesses.
Yesterday I started a review of all of my "projects" and commitments, and will be prioritizing recovery, sleep optimization, and guided self-development, and streamlining my approach to work projects.
Click to expand...

Good attitude and great analysis of the situation ! What exactly do you mean under 'guided self-development' ? And what recovery you will be prioritizing ? Is it health recovery or do you mean something else?

Slider8, Jan 26, 2021

Slider8, Jan 26, 2021

#11708

OttarrTheVendelCrow, rotten_tomato, RiseToGreatness and 3 others like this.
Jan 26, 2021 #11709

Slider8 Fapstronaut

2,955

12,485

143

crazyhorse11 said: ↑

What's HALT?
Click to expand...

Being Hungry,Angry, Lonely or Tired when seen as emotional stressors causing to relapse.

Slider8, Jan 26, 2021

Slider8, Jan 26, 2021

#11709

OttarrTheVendelCrow, RiseToGreatness, Verissimus and 4 others like this.
Jan 26, 2021 #11710

Slider8 Fapstronaut

2,955

12,485

143

crazyhorse11 said: ↑

Great achievement well done
Click to expand...

Thank you brother for kind words ! For now I have the deep respect for those who run their first marathon, because I know what they are going through.

Slider8, Jan 26, 2021

Slider8, Jan 26, 2021

#11710

OttarrTheVendelCrow, rotten_tomato, RiseToGreatness and 4 others like this.
Jan 26, 2021 #11711

Silverwolf Fapstronaut

96

378

53

Checking in Day 1. Early on I had trouble staying focused and motivated with my studies, but I took a very cold shower and felt re-energized enough to hit the books. My mood has been pretty "meh" but I'm gonna take the time to do a bit of meditation and see if that helps. The journey has just begun for me, and I am excited to be on this path with you all!

Silverwolf, Jan 26, 2021

Silverwolf, Jan 26, 2021

#11711

OttarrTheVendelCrow, rotten_tomato, Johnthesavage and 7 others like this.
Jan 26, 2021 #11712

ULYSS3S Fapstronaut

47

266

53

crazyhorse11 said: ↑

Congrats @ULYSS3S !
Click to expand...

Thanks!

ULYSS3S, Jan 26, 2021

ULYSS3S, Jan 26, 2021

#11712

OttarrTheVendelCrow, rotten_tomato, RiseToGreatness and 3 others like this.
Jan 26, 2021 #11713

ULYSS3S Fapstronaut

47

266

53

Day 8 completed!

ULYSS3S, Jan 26, 2021

ULYSS3S, Jan 26, 2021

#11713

OttarrTheVendelCrow, rotten_tomato, Johnthesavage and 6 others like this.
Jan 26, 2021 #11714

kaerhal Fapstronaut

452

4,253

123

Day 26

Another great day! Part of me was foolishly thinking I have this addiction beaten, but after my girlfriend sent me an unintentionally arousing photo I quickly realised I was wrong! I managed to pass off the thoughts quite quickly but I need to get a better handle on my emotions.

I really enjoyed reading your posts today brothers, I always find encouragement and reason to celebrate your achievements each day! Keep up the great work brothers, you’ve helped me so much.

kaerhal, Jan 26, 2021

kaerhal, Jan 26, 2021

#11714

OttarrTheVendelCrow, rotten_tomato, Johnthesavage and 7 others like this.
Jan 26, 2021 #11715

LuckyMan Fapstronaut

722

6,223

123

18 days. Thanks for the discussion on p-subs @RiseToGreatness , it is very helpful. I am always fishing. I gotta cut that out. Thanks for the reminder.

LuckyMan, Jan 26, 2021

LuckyMan, Jan 26, 2021

#11715

OttarrTheVendelCrow, rotten_tomato, Johnthesavage and 5 others like this.
Jan 26, 2021 #11716

Onan the Barbarian Fapstronaut

619

4,452

123

Stay strong, @RiseToGreatness ! Sorry to hear about this reset.

Onan the Barbarian, Jan 26, 2021

Onan the Barbarian, Jan 26, 2021

#11716

OttarrTheVendelCrow, rotten_tomato, LuckyMan and 3 others like this.
Jan 26, 2021 #11717

Onan the Barbarian Fapstronaut

619

4,452

123

Hobbiton!

I'm happy to (again) become a hobbit, but I know I still have some orc in me, so I must be wary. Also, I am happy to report that I have accomplished by short-term goal of 15 Days! Time for another short-term goal...

Today I have
- meditated
- prayed
- worked out
- taken a cold shower
- eaten healthy
- finished a work task
- texted friends and family

There's still much more to do. I am happy to be here in this moment, though.

Let's remember that the notion of porn being fun is an illusion. Let's find some authentic enjoyment!

Onan the Barbarian, Jan 26, 2021

Onan the Barbarian, Jan 26, 2021

#11717

OttarrTheVendelCrow, Silverwolf, rotten_tomato and 9 others like this.
Jan 26, 2021 #11718

Deleted Account Guest

Checking in on Day 52.

Deleted Account, Jan 26, 2021

Deleted Account, Jan 26, 2021

#11718

OttarrTheVendelCrow, Silverwolf, rotten_tomato and 10 others like this.
Jan 26, 2021 #11719

HE^MAN Distinguished Fapstronaut

1,176

7,693

143

My Journal

191 check

HE^MAN, Jan 26, 2021

HE^MAN, Jan 26, 2021

#11719

OttarrTheVendelCrow, Silverwolf, rotten_tomato and 6 others like this.
Jan 27, 2021 #11720

Mr. Sinister Fapstronaut

57

267

53

Day 6

Today has been, I suppose, the return of urges in partial force. My HOCD triggers (seeing lewd women I am not really attracted to) have been making me seriously fucking pissed. Forget anxiety, it's annoying at this point. I don't know why it has to feel like real attraction. It makes no sense. I can't get it out of my head right now. I considered just giving up, too. Can't remember the reason, but it was something along the lines of 'I will remain confident in my sexuality even if I fap to girls.' That sort of thinking never works, don't know why I thought this time would be different. It reminds me of the Tool song, Sober. Now that I think about it, that song runs through my head when I relapse. "

Why can't we not be sober. . . just want to start this over"

I don't know how similar or different alcoholism and masturbation addictions are, but those words seem to resonate with me when I imagine it's talking about PMO.

Someone asked me to keep writing about my passed away dog, Toby, but I am in no proper state of mind to do so. I am too irritated. Instead, I will share a picture of my new dog that my mom got me recently. Her name is Princess Leia.

The very type of dog good old Toby would have put in place real quick. . . heh. Miss you buddy. <33

Now I gotta handle these emotions welling up at the thought of that.

Mr. Sinister, Jan 27, 2021

Mr. Sinister, Jan 27, 2021

#11720

OttarrTheVendelCrow, Silverwolf, rotten_tomato and 5 others like this.

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