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The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by RiseToGreatness, Sep 22, 2019.

Should the Thread Title be extended?

Poll closed Jun 21, 2020.
  1. No, leave like that: "The Lord of the Rings Challenge"

    18 vote(s)
    54.5%
  2. Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Fellowship of Nofap"

    15 vote(s)
    45.5%
  3. Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: Rising Fellowship of Eärendil"

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  4. Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Journey to Mount Doom"

    5 vote(s)
    15.2%
  5. Yes. "The Lord of the Rings Challenge: The Quest of the Ring-bearer"

    6 vote(s)
    18.2%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. Again I find myself at Day 0. I've been an orc for an uncomfortably long amount of time.

    I was sitting at my desk working on Spanish homework when I got the urge to procrastinate, so I pulled out my phone and started swiping through memes. Pretty soon I found some that were risque and I just pursued that trail. For the last week or two I've been stuck in the five-day cycle that characterized my struggle before arriving at NoFap. I've become weak about actually fighting off urges, and merely coasting on the times when they aren't as strong.

    To remedy that, I will head over to my journal and list out all the ways I can think of why PMO is evil.

    Most sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us.
     
  2. Verissimus

    Verissimus Fapstronaut

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    Day 20. I like the round numbers. They always hit differently.
     
  3. OttarrTheVendelCrow

    OttarrTheVendelCrow Fapstronaut

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    Day 50 no PMO! I am proud of this milestone. I am going to take time today to reflect on how far I have come.

    I have been focusing on how to improve my Sex and dating life lately and I noticed something that I would like to share with you guys. If an attractive girl crosses paths with me at work, the gym, or another location where I see them multiple times, I start to idealize them. I will try and learn more about them and begin to feel like I have to have them. I would say I have decent luck with the ladies, and when I do get one of these girls into bed, I am left feeling disappointed. The idealized version of the person that I had created trumps the actual human I am experiencing. In the past this disappointment has led me to watch pornography and masturbate to fantasies.

    I plan on trying to unpack this revelation and get to the root of what is causing me to be infatuated with the person when I know nothing about them, other than the fact that they are attractive. I am curious as to whether this resonates with anyone.
     
  4. aeburbt

    aeburbt Fapstronaut

    This is a very astute revelation! I think that this also lies at the heart of the problem with porn. Frequent porn use has led us all to nurture these fantasies about who we believe to be the perfect woman. In these fantasies, they are always attractive, always eager to have sex in any way that we choose, and always good in bed. If a particular fantasy girl doesn't meet this high bar...well then we just click on to the next fantasy woman until we find one who does meet our expectations. Once this bar is set, it's impossible for a real woman to reach. Thus, we are never satisfied with real intimacy.

    I went through this with my wife. She is very attractive, and an amazing woman, but I had set a bar that was too high for anyone to meet. She didn't stand a chance, when I had thousands of online women to compare her to...especially since I live with her and have figured out (gasp) that she isn't perfect. Sometimes she snores, or is too tired to have sex, or doesn't say the exact right thing to turn me on. My online fantasies became bigger in my mind than her. So sad to think that I was ignoring real, intimate sex with my wife to M by myself in the dark.

    Anyways, your post resonated with me for this reason. I think you're right that we forget that attractive women are real, imperfect humans just like us, and that was a great reminder. Eventually, if we got to know them individually, we would realize this and would start to lose interest because P has taught us to move on the second someone doesn't meet our sexual expectations. Realizing this is a huge step in battling it.

    Thanks for the post! Keep on going!!
     
  5. aeburbt

    aeburbt Fapstronaut

    Also....day 9...about to hit double digits for the first time!
     
  6. Slider8

    Slider8 Fapstronaut

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    Huh we even got Satanists and God worshipers getting along well here !

    upload_2021-1-27_12-55-1.png

    There's something sinister indeed in this signature. Because basically it means praise(enthusiastic one)to the temptations and devil ????
     
  7. CrimsnBlade

    CrimsnBlade Fapstronaut

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    Day 106 complete.

    Slowly heading towards King status baby. Can't wait!!
     
  8. WhateverItTakes2end

    WhateverItTakes2end Fapstronaut

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    I haven't posted in a while but I'm alive and well. Just been busy with moving and starting at my new position.
    Day 123!! Can't believe I've made it this far. It's a bit easier but I definitely still get the urge here and there to wanting to look at the various site especially now that I may be able to binge. But, if I look now, I know I'll break my long streak and my goal now isn't reach a certain amount of days but to never look again get rid of this bad habit I've had forever and that was ingrained into me.
    You all got this. Take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. You can do it! I'm praying for all of you and I believe you will all succeed one day!
     
  9. americanbison

    americanbison Fapstronaut

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    Thanks @Slider8 and @crazyhorse11 for the encouragement. I suppose recovery and guided self-development are two sides of the same coin. By recovery, I mean staying on the path of "rebooting" - not giving up. And guided self-development is adopting specific practices with the intention of growing myself. The first thing on my list is to start practicing the "Metascript Method" from Universal Man.
     
  10. OttarrTheVendelCrow

    OttarrTheVendelCrow Fapstronaut

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    It is difficult to emphasize how much of an impact this post had on me. Prior to reading this I was looking at my idealization of women as something that drove me to masturbate and watch porn. I knew I was creating high expectations leading me to disappointing dating experiences. It somehow didn't occur to me that the driving force behind these high expectations was pornography and fantasy itself.

    It seems so obvious to me now. My experience with dating is the same as my experience with sex. I found myself unsatisfied with sex because I indulged in my ultimate sexual fantasies online for 10 years. I find myself unsatisfied with women that I date because I have found my ideal women online for 10 years. Women in porn aren't dirty, aren't sweaty, they don't smell, they don't get depressed, they don't make you hang out with their friends, meet their family, get pissed at you, they just help you live out all of your deepest darkest desires in the most perfect way. They are always in the mood, always clean, always horny, looking perfect, saying the right thing at the right time, enjoying every single sex act that comes their way inhibition free. I am just realizing this overlap and how much of a vicious cycle it is. It is a closed loop.

    The process is like this:

    I find a hot girl online that meets all of my requirements for an ideal partner. I watch said ideal girl perform my ideal sexual fantasies. I have an orgasm but feel unsatisfied with the lack of physical and emotional connection, not to mention all of the other negative feelings associated with indulgence and masturbation. I see a hot girl in real life and start to idealize. Here's my chance to do it in real life!. I meet said hot girl and feel disappointed when I realize she isn't there just to please me and is in fact a human being with a family, friends, needs, dreams, quarks, downsides, and emotions. I have sex with said hot girl and feel disappointed when the sex is plain vanilla. I search out porn videos to fill in the blanks. Ad infinitum.

    This overlap between the idealization of sex and the idealization of women due to porn never occurred to me. I thought that porn was impacting my dating life because I was being overstimulated all of the time and so wasn't seeking out the real thing. I also knew that it was numbing me to normal plain vanilla sex. What didn't occur to me was that I felt disappointed with the women I was meeting because my view of women had been distorted. I have been going on dates with normal girls and expecting porn stars.

    @aeburbt I feel like you just showed me a hidden door or handed me the key to something incredible. This post really brought my thought process full circle and it is one of the most impactful things a stranger has ever gifted me.
     
  11. Slider8

    Slider8 Fapstronaut

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    Just a scene to think about when you don't want to do what you have to do:
    Lady Galadriel : ' You are a Ring-bearer Frodo, To bear a Ring of Power is to be alone. This task was appointed to you. And if you do not find a way...no one will.'
    Frodo: 'Then I know what I must do. It's just...I'm afraid to do it.'
     
  12. Mr. Sinister

    Mr. Sinister Fapstronaut

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    Ah, I see you saw my tag. I am a satanist in terms of achieving goals, fulfilling desire (masturbation is a detriment, so I don't consider that fulfilling) in life, and supporting TST (The Satanic Temple). We are primarily atheist.

    Also, the name is based on the Powerwolf song. ;)
     
  13. Strugglingforyears

    Strugglingforyears Fapstronaut

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    50 days :emoji_star2: Moria, the greatest Dwarven Kingdom, is before me. With a beard and an axe, I am a Dwarf now.
     
  14. MyGodandMyAll27

    MyGodandMyAll27 Fapstronaut

    Day 6. Doing my best and becoming stronger .

    Saint Anthony of Padua Pray for Us.!!
     
  15. RiseToGreatness

    RiseToGreatness Fapstronaut

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    yeah bro. cut it right now. whatever you´re doing that has a sexy conotation to it, stop it. really stop. because if you not stop your brain will stop.... after a pmo session.

    let me break down to you and the Fellowship what happened. i have a strong passion for fantasy culture, since really young (i´m 39 now), i consume fantasy books and movies. however fantasy is also a trigger for me as i have (had) a passion towards barbarian movies with half naked ladies.

    so a couple of days ago, i started watching old warrior fantasy movies and many of them with triggers. i didn´t censor myself, in fact i thought "well, so what if some body parts show up? it makes the movie even better". then, as the days go by i was not only watching those movies but most importantly i was searching for the movies that had the greatest triggers. and i was not even being honest with myself, i just ignored the nature of my behaviour.

    then, yesterday, i was tired and out of balance and i start searching for more specific types of movies and this time even actresses. when i reach the point of horniness, i knew i was in big trouble. but on that point trying to stop the urges and burning brain is like stopping a bulldozer.

    this is really important, fishing never stops!! it only stops with a full blown masturbation session to porn or substitutes.
    so this is a great advice from JK to detect fishing. whenever you´re onto triggering material, ask yourself "why am i doing this?" and you will expose the addiction right away ;)

    i hope this helps :)
     
  16. RiseToGreatness

    RiseToGreatness Fapstronaut

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    congratulations bro, she´s very cute :). Just like Toby. Take good care :)
     
  17. RiseToGreatness

    RiseToGreatness Fapstronaut

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    that´s very common. thank you for sharing bro.

    yes, we tend to idealize the perfect woman, because that´s what we see in porn. hot atresses with good shaped bodies, no complains or restrains, always nice and ready to do sex.

    but....

    that´s an illusion!!! :D

    in porn we only see the sexual part of the woman. all the other parts (personality, mood, attitudes, intelligence, competence, etc) are obliterated. in the real world, even if we married a pornstar, we will soon find lots of flaws and disappointments in her. just like any other human being ;)

    so idealizing a woman is part of objectification. womans are not check-lists. they are perfectely imperfect beings, just like us. so don´t worry, trust the reboot process, stay away from porn and substitutes, and slowly your brain will start to see the real world. and you will fall in love with a woman, just has it is ;)
     
  18. RiseToGreatness

    RiseToGreatness Fapstronaut

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    love this scene bro. thank you!!! :)
     
  19. LuckyMan

    LuckyMan Fapstronaut

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    @Onan the Barbarian Way to go! You are really working hard! You must feel so much better.
     

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