The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Checking in for today. I've tried to delete the day counter from my signature. I still will be participating in the challenge, still have my Day Counter and LOTR sig. set, and will post updates on my count/rank when I get the chance. My goal is not only to be a White Wizard someday, but to have fought the battles and transformed along the way. The constant reminder of the count seems to be pulling my emotional and analytical focus away from tracking other substantial recovery goals. I'd found myself comparing myself to others in an unhealthy way. Also, when I got "the farthest away from home... I've ever beén," that count started to work against me. It was actually really helpful at one point, but I am moving in a different direction for now.

 

Check day 1 .
Im new in this challenge , and im so excited to go to the adventure.
One day ,when i get kids i will tell them a story how i ended this evil ,and PMO slavery.
May the light be with us .

 

Day 16,

Posting early this morning since an interesting thought came up on my run this morning. The difference between "Dedication" and "Commitment." I had the realization that I am rarely dedicated to anything, but rather often times committed. However, my current running regiment is not geared towards training for a race, impressing a girl, nor making a living. To therein lies the difference. I used to, and still am in some respects, be committed to activities and call it dedication when the real motivator/driver for those activities were contracts, expected outcomes, and/or prestige. I intend to become more dedicated in personal/spiritual growth, not for what it can manifest physically, but rather whatever understanding of higher purpose I might be able to attain.

I would enjoy hearing your thoughts!

Best to all and keep strong this weekend Fellowship!

-Current Studying Music-

 

Today I relapsed unfornately...
The addiction got me, but I will never give up. I'll beat the chains that locked me and I'll free myself.

Restarting stronger and better!!

Day 0 Check in!

 

Doing my weekly check-in brothers. Day 28 (not that I'm counting, but I know when I stopped my addiction). Apart from not counting days, I am hardly thinking about anything porn-related or NoFap related at all. I want to share that so far I have hardly had any urges and if they were there, I could dismiss them with simply breathing through it and carrying on with whatever I was doing. This is definitely different than the 'streak' I had with the NoFap method, where I struggled after a couple of days and had to put up a real fight to even get past 2 weeks. The solution:

Stop fighting the symptoms; cure the disease. You can either spend your days fighting urges (and giving in to them, causing you to start over and over forever with your 'streaks') or you can learn about the urges, where they come from and how to kill them at the source. Believe me, it makes the journey a hell of a lot easier.

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Good luck everyone, I hope you too will cure your addiction!

 

Day 9. looking forward with hope in my heart.

Saint. Cecilia Pray For Us

 

Checking in on day 12!

 

Day 15
I'm an Hobbit!!
I think I'm in a flatline period. I feel depressed, I cannot enjoy anything, and I dont feel anything when i see a sex scene from a movie. Nothing. The only positive thing that happens to me in that period is that I'm a more stable person in terms of emotions.

 

Day 82! I feel how I'm getting closer to the 90 days and I am trying to keep my guard up. This week I saw a huge decrease in my productivity and increase in comfort. I don't like it as it is a clear sign of a relapse incoming.
Any of you had any related incidents around day 80+? In which the shadow of comfort is trying to crawl from under the skin?
Guess I'll have to discover tomorrow what I must do.
I wish you strength,my brothers!

 

Day 36
Hello! This challenge seems pretty fun and something I would like to participate in. I've just found out about this and according to the first post, my rank would be Elf. Very cool stuff.
(Love that dwarf is ranked higher than Elves )

 

Day 30

'If I take one more step, it'll be the farthest away from home I've ever been'

I don't think I realise how significant this day is to me - it marks the longest I've ever managed to abstain from PMO in 10 years, as long as I've been suffering with this addiction. I struggled just as much today as I did yesterday, but going forth tomorrow I hope to be filled with a new strength in the knowledge that this is the farthest I've ever come, and that I'm a third of the way through my 90-day reboot!

It is with great joy that I can announce I have reached Rivendell, and I'm now an Elf! I look forward to continuing this journey with you my fellow brothers, together as part of one fellowship we can finally destroy this curse once and for all.

 

Checking in friends

No PMO - Day 73 - please upgrade me to warrior @RiseToGreatness !

Exercise - Long Jog

Cold Shower - Yes

Reflections -
Lust is not just the pleasure of lust. We think only of the pleasure, and we think it is free, but this pleasure has a a price.
While we experience this pathetic puny pleasure, our minds are given over to a demon who utilises us for his own end.

PMO causes us to disconnect from our core, who we truly are. This in turn disconnects us from those that love us, thereby hurting them deeply. Although we might be physically present we are disconnected, we are not really there for them at all. This is worse than physically leaving the person, you are there but you are not there, like living with a ghost. So this is terribly hurtful to those we love.

Then the lust, like Ungoliant in The Silmarillion, who "craved and sucked up all light she could find. After each feeding, she spun dark webs of gloom that strangled all passing light", is insatiable. The more lust feeds the more its hunger grows. So now we have a second suffering, a greater hunger than we had before we made this trade. And so we seek more food for our lust and again and again. As we all know, the appetite of lust drags us to places we never conceived of, seeking to satisfy its hunger, and this leads to more suffering than we could have ever imagined, deep deep shame as we travel further and further away from our basic humanity, metamorphisizing bit by bit into the very demon that sold us the pleasure to begin with. We become consumers & patrons of the dark underbelly of this world, which causes untold suffering to millions of people throughout the world every day. This will be our legacy, and all for a pathetic pointless illegitimate pleasure.

All of the 5 great wisdom traditions, and Tolkien's mythology, teach that the darkness of the demon is real, and it lusts for our confusion, our addictions, our downfall. But the Divine, has revealed to us the way out of this pit of suffering, through Its teachings and takes us gently by the hand to lead us out of the darkness to the light of truth, beauty and freedom. Let's seize this opportunity, let us work together as the strong Fellowship we are, and let us banish the agents of darkness from our hearts once and for all.

Mindful Breathing - not today yet

Practise BRACE - Yes when I saw the scene mentioned below and again BRACE really really sharpens focus and stops the urge in its tracks

Procrastination - Not today - turns out my boss' dad is very unwell and that drove the stressful behaviour - we just never know what is going on in people's lives

Vanity - Not today

Acting the idiot, boasting, blather - speaking rapidly but coherently on a group chat earlier - I definitely could be more serious though

Study about the reboot - We cannot do this alone We need accountability partners. And for accountability to be effective we must be honest and true to ourselves and our accountability partner(s)

Challenge daily your excuses to pmo - "everyone is doing it" - I was on a call last week and the people were playing cards against humanity (my first and last interaction with this most tasteless of games) and mostly everyone admitted either directly or indirectly to be P users. The cards were not funny, the laughter was forced, mostly everyone seemed rudderless, lost, very very sad. As @eagle rising mentioned on Friday, we are not called to be normal. The modern/ post modern norm is demonic, and so if we would be free the last thing we can be is part of this norm.

Review resolutions for 2021 and reset them for coming month of Feb - key is mindfulness and focus - again I have energy now I haven't had in months and I need to channel and harness it, rather than letting it drive me. Watching a really good series, which I was really enjoying, but have decided to stop it as, although it does not have anything explicit, there are some scenes with strong innuendo - I am going to continue this cold turkey detox for at least 90 days (only 17 more days).

Follow a triggers prevention plan - early to bed early to rise. getting off sugar slowly but surely - also BRACE

Why am I doing this? -To be the whole human being we were all born to be. To live as that human being and to ultimately die as that human being.

Freedom Fight - Did SAST - scored 13 -

• 11-14 Indicates that you have sexual addiction tendencies that need to be addressed. Those in this range often require professional counseling.

Romans 6:15-23 - Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?

Commitments for tomorrow - Summarise all therapy sessions from 2020, Humility, No PMO, Extinguish all lustful fantasy before they are even a flame, Be Humble - a Hobbit, any time I see a fault in another think of my own faults (of which I have infinitely more examples), No bitching or complaining, Connect to my tasks, Connect to my vulnerability by being reserved and quiet; Be vigilant of thought, word and actions; Be very aware of danger, pitfalls and most importantly do not take my eye off Gollum....

 

Well done @BrotherHal , great achievement!

 

2 cents - do something that makes you uncomfortable, like a task you have been putting off on the long finger for a long time

 

Super super picture - if only more producers in the film industry took this to heart!

 

Super post thanks!

 

My 2 cents, take or leave it as you will:
Therapy/ counselling can seem boring, flat and pointless sometimes, esp at the beginning, but it is in the grey, in the dirt, that you will uncover the diamonds of your mind. The more aware and conscious we become, and it can take a bit of time and persistence to get going, the less confused, self absorbed, and self destructive we become. And there are countless intangible treasures to be discovered on that journey, that words cannot describe. I guarantee you therapy/ counselling is extremely helpful in overcoming addictions (and all P users are addicts whether we like it or not). Also there are group sessions and accountability partners to be found on this site also, which are not only extremely helpful, but essential to our process of healing and achieving freedom.