Space Marine February - Team Deathmatch (CLOSED)

Day 4 checking in for Blood Angels.

Was busy studying most of the day and didn't open instagram a single time so no urges to peek on those hot fake plastic models.

 

Had a wet dream during my longer nap today (had a terrible night that's why I took one)
It was my first one ever.. also had some intense urges this morning..

I feel kind of down, but I'm not exactly sure why..
I'll do some journaling now and then basically try to go on with my journey despite of this weird feeling. (It doesn't feel like a relapse.. but kind of similar)

 

I did my journaling now

JFYI counterwise
During my journaling I noticed a few situation where I failed to take good care of myself. I've fed myself some negative thoughts, and engaged in some mindless escapism (not PMO related) BUT mindless escape breeds more mindless escape. I had 10 perfect days, where I showed up for myself and had it all perfect productivity and selfcarewise.
This is the path I want to hold on to as long as possible. So therefore I have to reset my counter. It's about meeting my own personal goals, i.e. living the life I truly want to in max. authenticity. I failed to do this today.

@EndPornLiveLife I tag you just so you can notice, that I'm still in the challange, but I reset my counter because recovery is not only about abstaining for me and I need to take responsibility now.

 

Wow someone actually read my journal. I thought I am just writing it down and no one actually cared for it.

We are infact surrounded by fake plastics. By fake plastics I mean those models who call themselves influencers but in reality they only show body to gain creepy followers and we young generation are so stupid to follow this stupid social media culture which promotes fakeness.
There is so much that I want to let out but this is not the ideal platform.

 

That is exactly what I‘m doing and I believe that‘s where the Grace comes and gets more.
Many people say fasting and praying strengthens their connection with God, so there must be smth about it often it’s even so that, the day you don’t pray, that’s when smth bad happens.

But I also feel like claiming God as the cause for my streak brings me even more Grace from him, that is the only way I can explain my streak and why I feel so peaceful about the whole thing for such a long time.


Before I joined NoFap I couldn’t make 30+ days. Another part for me is believing in love and that I‘m going to meet my partner soon and really devoting myself, my heart, my fighting spirit or whatever wanna call it, my fire to that and also to the fellow fighters on NoFap.

Basically... saving others increases your Grace from God and that, in the end, saves yourself. That‘s my theory.

Also there is this idea that God is in all of us and by serving others you are serving Him.
reference.. MATTHEW 25:40

I know God lead me here at just the right time.
On day 31 of my streak he told me to spend time with Him daily.
So that‘s what I‘m still doing.
And stopped consuming all that TV, and YouTube rubbish that‘s full of temptations and messes you up!!
That rubbish almost caused a reset in my 40s, but through God‘s Grace and prayers of many for me, I was able to overcome them urges that lasted 3 days..!
Same thing with the exam, I just passed. Asked many to pray for me.
Day before exam revised just the right questions, In exam was extremely focused and at end of exam answered last question with many good bullet points that just came to me, as if from heaven

That‘s one of the best benefits from NoFap too: strengthend my connection with God.

Stay lit everybody!!
More power to Space Wolves!!

 

Can help if there is a special someone in mind you are doing this for.

For me, the thought of hurting my future partner with this, or this being between us is often times enough for me to not wanna do it.

But respect for fighting, like a Space Marine should!! Lemme say this:
This guy @ToMMy.H he’s not a wanker, he a real man.

 

Checking in, Day 4/28, Space Wolves.

 

Haha yes thank you, my mistake.

Awww, that‘s so special.
That‘s the beauty of this live-giving love we hold within ourselves.
Can‘t wait to see my bff‘s first born son, when he will arrive soon !

 

Check in black Templars

 

Thank you man! The spark of creativity is propelled by such a fine audience

 

@vicicool hell yeah man! Thx for the morale bump

@EndPornLiveLife Good to see you are back on track, going strong! Running and biking sounds great! I silently envy you
Cant wait to enjoy walking again. At least this experience teaches me good lesson of not taking anything for granted and really appreciate every moment I can move and not be limited by health conditions. They always say: "Succes, money, nice cars, sexy girls - thats all nice, but health, my friend, thats the most important."

Thx for the suggestions. I also have some weights home, but doctor said I should just be still and give it some time. I can barely stand on the foot. I think push ups maybe some biceps curls, triceps, shoulders, just sitting on the bench, probably at next week. Patience is something I dont have, but feel like I should learn and this is great opportunity. I was lucky that my leg is not in gypsum and want to stay it that way. The only thing that really fucks me up is a) cant do basically anything b) watching myself getting fatter and loosing the shape I worked on so much. I can do one thing that I can control and that is eating healthy and creating this good eating habits for future. I am really trying but I love chocolate too much

 

Really tough times. I sense massive tension. Spent 1/2 day working and now its dangerous getting to bed times.
I need to be very strict about my strategy. The thoughts and fantasies will come, thats for sure, so how will I react when laying on bed?

I will start by laying on my back. I will play meditation and take deep breaths.
When I struggle to fall asleep, I will visualize my self, how my ideal life looks.
I will remind myself that I am part of this team and challenge and have massive support from fellow fapstronauts and I will just push trough.
When the thoughts are around I will not start developing them by talking to myself and start this imaginery role playing.
I will take a step back and see it from 3rd person, take deep breaths, remind myself that prone masturbation will surely ruin my future sex life and what kind of unhealthy twisted fantasies I need to get aroused. Its not healthy.

Fuck when I am writing about it I am realizing that its really not ideal what kind of fantasies I have in my head. Its really fucked up.

I think I got the strategy ready and lets fucking go. Lets build the discipline muscles.
Good night and stay strong guys!

 

Brother omg chocolate is literally the bane of my eating habits! I was doing so so well for like 3 months, then I had some chocolate because my friend offered it to me, and I haven't been the same since. I've formed a reliance on fruit because I want sugar so often, so now I eat like 2-4 pieces every day, plus smoothies, and while fruit is better for me than chocolate, it still has a lot of sugar in it and definitely isn't ideal for my life sitting at a desk, plus I still crave chocolate! Honestly PMO ain't got nothing on sugar, I'm like 26 days deep into this thing, but I can't even go more than about 5 hours without some kind of sweet thing like a piece of fruit or chewing some gum... Man fuck chocolate it's too fucking tasty...


MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING FOR SEXUAL STUFF BUT I GOTTA SAY IT BECAUSE IT'S ALSO KINDA FUNNY


One time I was with a girl, who was a really close friend, and she wanted to experiment with foodstuffs in bed, and at one point she put some melted chocolate on herself and told me to lick it off (btw don't do this, it just gets sticky) and I got waaay too into the chocolate and completely stopped everything else, totally derailed the whole thing because I fucking love chocolate and it doesn't matter if it's in a bar or on a naked woman my immediate priority is that I WILL EAT THE CHOCOLATE

 

Checking in for the Black Templars! It's really feeling so natural to stay clean at the moment but I don't want to get complacent. Hope we're hanging in there marines, this demon won't kill itself!

 

Fantasies are like when you learn to count from 1 to 100. If you know 100 then you know each number from 1 to 99. So the rule with fantasies is keep them at zero. But if it's a situational one then donot go from 1 to 2 in the mind.

 

Because I always think I can control it, to ease the burden of the temptations without relapsing.

And more often than not, the edging does take the pressure off - temporarily - but a few days later, the same thing, I succumb to the desires & indulge in the porn.

The next time it happens, I think - this time I can control it, the edging. But once again I'm wrong.

 

Checking in for Space Wolves, 5 days.

 

Checking In for the day 5
-Black Templars-

I challenged myself to spend two days of not using any electronic media(which uses internet). I personally had no idea of doing this but one of my friend challenged my “dedication” so I proved him wrong. I feel happy now as I won .

This challenge was really helpful to make me realize about health concerns moreover in these two days I got better sleep durations and increased focus.

I felt that internet is all a distraction if we don’t utilize it properly

 

Check in day 5 no PMO for the Dark Angles