Bestiality Escalation, HOCD combined

Wow, reading these messages really shows the destructive power of porn. There is nothing wrong with you, it is just that your mind is designed to give dopamine for new genres. I have also watched almost all of the above genres, and have been deeply ashamed of that. Now I see that it has nothing to do with who I really am, but just the addict inside of me wanting dopamine.

That being said, people have genuine sexual preferences, fantasies and kinks. And when you are 14 you just don't have enough experience yet to know them all. The only way to really get to know who you really are is by living, and experiencing things. Porn however is fake experience, making you belief that you might have a preference for bestiality. Try living without porn, and see how you really feel about things. Look for the things that you get excited about.

 

Yes in 2018-2020 i was very futanari addicted, i have even a dream related to this stuff, after i know nofap, i quit pmo with much determination, and futanari is shit, garbage and unreal bro, doenst make sense a girl have a penis bigger than a horse and a elephant

 

This is a unique situation. I haven't had experience in bestiality very much, but don't write me off yet. I escalated to fetishes I'd prefer not to mention, I don't want to have curiousity take you down the same dark path I watched. I got addicted to porn at 12 as well, and I'm 19 now. It takes about as long to get out as it took to get in I've found. Going cold turkey is great, but unrealistic for a lot of people. I can tell you're desperate, you want to change. That checks the first box. You're really young too, so you're a lot more receptive to information.

To change your life you have to actually change your life. You have to stop putting yourself in situations where you can watch porn. It sounds gay as shit, but I had my girlfriend lock off my access to the internet on my phone. That has been the biggest help to me. That way I could only use a computer directly in front of someone if I were to relapse. Porn blockers are helpful too, but those cost money. They aren't accessible to all.

You also have to change your mindset. You have to make an effort in your mind every time you have a fantasy, or urge to watch porn. I suggest making plans everytime you're free to do some work or hang out with someone. It makes the urges go crazy in your mind at first, but they do die down. I'm not going to lie to you, it's a struggle, and it's hell for a couple weeks. But after that it's a lot easier. If you want me to be your coach, or if you want me to help you lay out a gameplan, I'm here message me. If I can stop some kid from fucking up his life like I did I'm game.

 

Dude, listen to me clearly.

I think this has to be something that has to do with human nature. It's some weird shit bro.

Because here is me, a 24 years old guy who who had to battle negative thoughts for most of his life since the age of 11. I have a particular brain that absorbs negative thoughts and throw them back to me giving me hard time. I've had a lot of nightmares too, very scary nightmares.

At the age of 14, I started watching porn and porn rly fucked my brain. My brain started to think by itself at the age of 16 giving me memorization qualities like no other, thinking about the universe and where we are, questioning reality. All of this I noticed came after I watched porn, maybe my brain and porn aren't a good combination, forget the maybe, I say they definitly aren't a good combination but porn is of course bad for everyone.

I've watched horrible videos due to curiosity, a video of a woman being killed, video of incidents, video of ppl being killed, my brain would lead me towards this video out of curiosity. The worst porn I've watched are stepmom whic is quite common, and scat porn.

Now, hear me out dude, I've never watched bestiality and never will. But guess what? My brain turned every ppl into zombie like-persons, eyes like fish, body like meat, cannibalistic thoughts and also gave me bestiality thoughts, particularly involving horses. DUDE, I'VE NEVER WATCHED A SINGLE BESTIALITY VIDEO IN MY LIFE AND MY BRAIN GIVES ME SOMETIMES THOUGHTS LIKE "I want to fuck a horse", THE FUCK?

I'm telling you, here there is something wrong with the nature of humans. How come my brain thinks by itself and give me fucked up thoughts and even bestiality thoughts when I haven't watched a single video of that shit?

I'm telling you, it's like there is someone else inside us, a demon misleading us towards doing something fucked up or bad. Porn is a product of the devil.

I've quit watching porn forever now and I'm resting my brain until it recovers definitely.

 

Shit, that is fucked up. It can only take as long as you let it. And if you believe your brain really is wired that way and you can't create new neural pathways, then it will. I believe you can change it.

 

My brain is weird. Everything went down after I started masturbating. I've never masturbated from 14 years old to 20 years old, only would watch porn. But then at 20 years old I thought, hey I've never seen my sperm, let me try masturbation and so I did. Masturbation and my brain aren't 2 things that go together, literally. It all went down after roughly 2 years of masturbation + porn, my brain literally changed how I see things. The eyes of people like wanting to go out, look bright, the body look like meat, my brain gave me also cannibalistic thoughts.
On instagram I see the models like that. The fuck is all of this, I've never even thought the brain could be capable of such.

Other things that happened is I felt movements in my head going up and down like some snakes going around my body, it almost made me believe it was a demon. The doctor said it's all neurochemical actions. I didn't know neurochemical actions could feel like snakes moving down your spine.

One day I dreamed a nightmare, someone shot me in the armpit and when I woke up that snake feeling came off from the point where I got shot in the dream, the armpit. What the hell was that? So demon like. And how come since when I battled negative thoughts, I haven't gotten a nightmare? Also I defeated someone who wanted to kill me in a nightmare and since then no nightmare. Idk all of this looks fucking weird to me.

And now let's get to the bestiality thoughts, why did my brain think about wanting to fuck a horse when I've never ever watched a bestiality video? Why a horse? Why putting together sentences like that outta my will, who the fuck is inside us? What the hell is all of this?

I thought we lived in reality but wtf is all of this, why my brain is doing me like this?

All I can do for me now is never ever watch porn again, that demonic industry, and letting my brain recover.

 

Very weird man. Hope everything's well

 

internal fantasies are symbolic. Just like dreams - where all sorts of weird imagery happens - are symbolic. They are not you. they are thoughts. Also if we have sexualized thoughts than they will appear in a sexual manner - that's why we have to uncouple desires from sex- the same way if we had an eating disorder we would need to decouple food from anxiety and emotional needs.

 

don't worry about it if your natural preference is women all you've got to do is stop pmoing and forget about using porn to get off trust me by the time you get your first sexual experience assuming you're virgin you'll be grateful that you live it naturally and not expecting something out of reality which in the end could lead you to sexual disfunction or even worse you'll get confused and might starting to act to your porn fantasies in real life, all people who end acting on them end regretting it because they notice that it wasn't what they really wanted and all that arousal was only something that their mind made. You're very young you haven't hard wired anything, also during puberty it's known because of all those hormonal changes that many people might get aroused by many things, you're defining your sexuality so if you want a clean and beautiful sex life all I can tell is stay away from porn, I wish I could have told myself this when I was a teenager, my life would be so different right now.

 

Man when i relapsed day 25-30, i feel good but later leaded me to porn again, and when i watch or even see porn i felt that porn is sometype of a door and the addiction is a breach to negative energies, and i'm Interested by
magic, science, philosophy, religion and the like

 

Well i will make my determination stronger enough to refuse anyform and anytype of porn again

 

Right. You just have to shut down that pathway to the negative energy in your head. It may sound farfetched, but you can just create a neural pathway through consistently asking yourself "Why do I want to watch this? What does this have for me? I'm not going to gain anything" and move on. Stay strong brother

 

I Interested by martial arts, dance, music, art, science, philosophy, magic, drawing, culture pop, and i will follow my dreams what is infintely better than a 10,000+ or more hours of porn

 

Escalation rabbit hole is neverending. I wouldn't say what is normal in escalation and what is not because it is highly dependant on the person but those are fantasies not something you want to do irl. Try to do nofap and be positive towards yourself. Escalation can be reversed.

 

Bro i pretty see almost every fetish in the escalation rabbit hole, and this sucks that i fantasied a rape and pedophilia scenario and knowing that i masturbating to guro(gore, rape, necrophilia in form of a anime or a cartoon drawn)



The live gives a chose to you decide if you will take the red pill(Self-Awareness, makes everything you like and is interrested, follow your dreams and goals, a extremely good, supporting and affectionate wife, living your life in this universe of a good way, and get descendants, dying, etc), or the blue pill(pornography, prostituition, breaking the laws of society, making your life miseably, commits any types of crimes like rape, corruption, pedophilia, robbery, homocide, using illicite drugs, etc)

 

And you are 15, right? Jesus Christ. What people have to go through nowadays.

 

The quarentine helped some industries like porn industry for exemple because that people masturbate with more frequency because everyone was in insolation and go outside with less frequency

besides pornography introduced me to sex at age 10 and in that time i become addicted and i escalate to various fetishes without knowing and escalated to futanari in 2018-2019 and i'm very addicted to futanari in this time, what i remember is the fact that i masturbating 2-3 or more times per day, and in late-2020 some friends in a discord server abstencing from pmo and in day 23, december 2020 i starting anstencing from pmo and i get results and benefits(high libido, more confident, more motivation, more attraction to girls, etc) and i realizing what every and any type of porn is unreal, harmful and highly addicting

 

Yes man and i will completing my 16 years in june of this year,