The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 72

 

Day 3....

 

Day 04

 

Day 24 complete! This is a new record for me! I haven't been running in a long time, though. I feel bad because I have noticed that direct link between exercise and stronger urges. It's the opposite of what it should be but I have no idea how to overcome that trigger. Once the weather improves and I can get back to it, I will have to be very careful.

@RiseToGreatness Is there a way you could repost that long gif in a more shareable form? I spent minutes on end laughing at it.

 

Checking in on Day 76.

 

Day 3. Orc.

 

Day 74. There is nothing better than a quiet Saturday morning to help me reflect and ease into my day. I feel mellow today. The urges have been less intense lately and the chaser effect from previous wet dream seems to have subsided completely. As time goes on, I am learning to handle stress in a much more constructive manner. Rather than masturbating, I am meeting the stress that presents itself to me with calm and ease. I have been reading a lot about stress and how it impacts our minds, how people deal with it, and how our perception of it can actually change how it impacts us. I have also been reading about addiction with the same questions in mind. Doing regular deep dives and exploring the purpose of this journey helps me to stay on track.

 

Day 4 Complete, ready to carry the white hand from the gates of Isengard!

Good look gentlemen!

 

Day 177.

The bright shining sun means nothing to me if I don't find happiness inside.

Be awesome!

 

Day 299.

 

Day 6,

I guess I got ahead of myself, Uruk-Hai today!

Planning to run later this morning. Going to be doing a bit of homework and planning to practice piano.

Best to you all Fellowship!

 

Day 0.

Well, after I’ve gotten the suggestion to make a triggers prevention plan, I thought to myself that it’s a good thing to make “when I get some free time”, no rush…. Today my girlfriend had gone out to see a friend and just before leaving half-jokingly said “and remember, don’t watch porn”. and literally the instant I’ve heard the door close behind her and I’ve realized that I was home alone I’ve gotten the worst urge in such a long time and I’ve spent the next couple of hours in a daze of PMO binging.

And that is it. for the first couple of minutes I’ve set in the living room with my phone scrolling random news trying not to go to any bad sites on my phone. And then even as some part of me was screaming don’t do it, I just started watching porn on my phone. And then I was like “fuck it” and want to my laptop and ruined and potentially great day.

Now I’m kind of sad, feel kind of dumb for not making this plan sooner, and just overall pissed of at myself for falling for something that I know was a huge trigger for me.

So this is my plan for the next couple of days.

For start, going back to doing a daily meditation habit.

My biggest problem is my phone and the fact that I’ve lost all shame regarding PMO in random bathrooms. So tomorrow I’m going to go outside and study for as much as I can in an open work space with a buddy of mine and I’m going to give him my phone in the morning. The shame of asking for it back would hopefully preventing me from even being able to PMO.

The other part is to try and go over my triggers. I’ll take the time tomorrow and just try to think of the top 5 situation where I watch porn and make a list of it. maybe I’ll make a cover picture with the stuff I can do like in the HALT technique.

At least I know myself enough to show myself some self compassion in this time. I’ve fucked up, but that don’t mean I have to fuck up tomorrow.

 

Day 30. I’m an elf now!!

 

Good reflection and good plan! The difference between a successful plan and a failed one is in "the act". You won't be able to know if the plan worked or not, in some future time, if you did not put it into play 100% for at least a few weeks. Just a little forewarning. Put all your effort into it and smile on the way there!

 

Day 16. Time to make for the village of Bree! Stay off the road. (I mean, stay off the internet)

 

20 day Check-in!

Just arrived in Breve!

 

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