This is not community

Do you believe that some people just write messages to receive likes?

 

Well, only speaking for myself, I often want to spend more time than I do going through the various parts of the forum and helping people, but there are various reasons why I dont.

First of all, I dont have the time. I dont have the luxury of being able to spend too much time reading and writing proper responses to everything I might want to. I already have a problem with being on this site too long (in fact I was due to log off before I saw this, case in point lol.) The more threads I post on the more I feel obligated to engage with, and unfortunately I cant spare more time than I already do.

Secondly, and I think this does apply to a lot of people, a lot of threads are triggering to the extent its too risky to engage in them. There are a lot of topics that dont phase me but I also know it would only take an offhand mention of a word or phrase to trigger me. In my own experience I find that many threads are also depressing or even distressing to read, and as someone with a tendency to swing easily into extreme moods, I dont feel like I am up to the task to help people sometimes, even if I do want to.

Thirdly, and this is an obvious one, there being so many users on the site makes it near impossible to help even a fraction of the people who need it, even if you did allocate a lot of time to it, and even if you were able to do so without posing a risk to your own recovery. The sad reality is some people will fall through the cracks, and to those people, all I can really suggest is to just repost something that got missed, to see if people notice it the second time around.

While I do agree that some people on here can be callous and uncaring (I've experienced it myself) I also think you are being too cynical yourself. I've met people on this site who I have become friends with outside of it, as well as others who have given me the motivation to pursue my goals in a way noone irl has ever managed. If thats not community, then what is?

 

I’m talking as myself not as a mod but I would be EXTREMELY happy if likes were removed. I couldn’t care less about them. Nothing pisses me off more than fake support for internet clout. You’re here because you’re addicted to pornography and masturbation, or you’d like to reduce how much you’re using any of those. If getting likes is part of the process for you, love that for you, but tell me why it matters compared to genuine support and interaction. A comment is a bazillion times better than a like. Rant over. Now I disagree with you, as long as people talk to each other with a shared goal this is a community

 

ur right. not gna lie. i get kind of tired re explaining strategies to refrain from pmo when im myself fighting the same battle. when i first started back up here i loved replying to the "im addicted to porn please help!" threads but overtime i got tired and annoyed seeing the same question over and over again. and copy and pasting answers seems disingenuous so i personally cant do it. but ur right. i still help people but the questions have to stand out and catch my interest. maybe you can suggest something i can do to get that interest back..

 

that were all full of shit and only really looking out for #1. is what im getting.

 

I kinda agree with this. I do dislike it when a thread gets a lot of likes but very little actual engagement, and its downright infuriating when the thread is inviting comments. Having said that, I tend to like posts as a way of saying "I've seen this, I agree, but dont have anything to add."

 

It is what it is. If you don't believe this is community then don't act like you're in one. If you want to believe that you're a part of a community - you might as well attract some people on this forum that make you feel like you're part of community.

 

You write comments to affirm your own beliefs. You get the chance to argue your case in an attempt to influence the world around you, which I think is a basic human instinct.
Here you have the chance to interact with others human beings. Giving comfort to those around you is a reward in itself - although my own experience with this forum is that that comfort is very highly based on your own set of values, and you can see that it ends up being the case of affirming your beliefs. THIS IS NOT A BAD THING. We are all trying to figure out what the hell is going on, and it is happening through dialogue. People have such different views and ways of expressing themselves, thank god for that. There is so much information to digest in various forms on here, and even this thread fits nicely into that process. You don't care about anyone else on here? Well, guess what? The best way to figure out your situation is to interact with those people in a civilized manner, because they are way more likely to reciprocate. You want information from others. What the hell are you gonna do on your own? The more productive way to interact with others then seem to be to state your thoughts in such a way that others will ACTUALLY LISTEN TO YOU.

It is not very sophisticated to attribute comments to superficial attention. It's more than that.

 

Most of the 300000 users are bots or inactive. I'd say there are low hundreds of active people on the site.

 

@justname Hey man, when you give someone your trust and they ignore youn or just don't care, I can see that must be hard on you. I hope you can find someone to talk to so you can come to peace with things. Best of luck to you

 

Well a thief often believes everyone steals...

 

Once again I find myself wondering why I bother commenting on posts like this. Take the time to write up a proper answer, get borderline unintelligible word salad in response. OP doesnt budge, and people keep coming in to try and make him, but he never will.

Well done OP, you have successfully managed to bait us all again, you truly are a master ruseman. I wonder how many times this will happen before it gets boring? Or are we all just addicted to arguing?

 

This is not true.

I do not use the like facility. I have never once liked a post. Yet I have quite a few followers and many likes. I do not seek likes. In fact, my view was well expressed earlier...

From the outset, I decided to articulate my liking for something. Otherwise, it is too Facebook-like (no pun intended lol).

 

I am talking about everything, including the comments section.

 

Writes post in public forum. Gets mad when people post comments that disagree. Proceeds to double down instead of actually listening to what naysayers are saying, only pays real attention to comments that agree. I swear dude, most threads you post seems to be like this and they are usually you shitting on people who use the forum for no good reason. But then you also post stuff thats decent, so I dont get what the deal is with you. You probably arent a troll, but you sure seem to get a kick out of being antagonistic for no reason.

If my posts are causing you to get so annoyed you feel the need to put me on ignore, go ahead and do it. I'm not sure what I've said thats so "destructive" but whatever.

 

318 to be exact.