New Start

The best advice i can give you right now is stop praying to Jesus and start praying to God

Jesus was just a messenger. But God guides us all just like he guided Jesus. This nofap journey is a journey of change. You have to change yourself. You can't keep doing the same things over and over again hoping for a change

That being said you can't just pray and sit on your butt and hope for results to come. You have to work for it you have to fight and you can definitely do this but i want you to remember one thing:

"Your situation will not change unless you change"

 

I have had 18 years or so of struggle with porn. Here is what I have learned:

I relapsed twice after 6 months Or so being porn free. I was beating myself up over it and depressed for a few days, I’m currently a year free from that relapse. Although in this year, I had 2 near relapses and straddled the line and looked and tempted myself more than I should have back in December and January.

I have a wife and kids and I had to tell her when I relapsed on one of times in 6 month gap. she has helped me , Along with a few friends opened up too. It lifted a huge weight off.

I have learned a lot in my struggle with porn. One, is what triggers me. A lot on the internet and tv triggered me(seeing beautiful women). I believe my last relapse was super bowl halftime show, I didn’t relapse that night, but like a week or two after it, but those images stayed with me and I kept wanting more, even after 6 months. The relapse before was seeing on ESPN website the athletes body magazine and got curious which athletes made it and had beautiful woman. Had zero intention of doing porn, but those were triggers.

I also researched And watched videos of the science behind it all and it releases dopamine In your brain and scary how the addiction can become when I thought I could control it.

the ways I feel like I have conquered it for good was that I had my wife put in an adult filter password that I don’t know what it is(it could be a friend if not married). It’s my backup plan when having a bad day and can’t see the adult sites. I also don’t watch shows that could trigger me and try to turn my head if I think a scene is coming. More importantly though, I have really grown in my faith with God. I have listened to so many sermons on temptations and that has helped me tremendously. Rick Warren and Greg Laurie are 2 of my favorites and have helped me a ton!! I learned about all the garbage I was putting in my mind. The analogy was how we have to watch what we eat, we can’t eat McDonald’s fried food every meal without bad consequences, the same thing applies with what you consistently put in your mind. We are trying to undo years and years of bad addictions and it takes time to undo that.
“Above Inspiration” YouTube videos are great too. Give them a listen, it’s usually 10-20 min long.

Hopefully this helps and try and learn as much as possible and avoid whatever gets you tempted and triggered. M make it a lifestyle change and don’t beat yourself up if you have a relapse. Just learn from it and keep trying to do better. Porn free radio podcast by Matt Dobschuetz
I also told myself , I would help as many people possible struggling with this as I could once when I got it under control.

Learn as much as you can and it is beatable. Hopefully some of these tools and analogies help.

 

1. Around 18 years or so with porn. It wouldn’t be every day. Earlier years maybe couple times a week then got better to couple times a month and so on.
2. I still haven’t completely eliminated it. I just try to think of only my wife. But if I were single, definitely would try to more or for sure have zero electronics by you whatsoever
3. No
4. No
5. Work on getting this fixed. So many tools available to help fight it. Learn about yourself and your weaknesses and give yourself ways to fight it. If at all possible, you don’t want to bring this into a long term relationship or marriage.

I started listening to a ton of sermons and researching all YouTube I could along with using this site when I finally admitted I had a problem, which took probably 15-16 years before I did that

 

I recommend using cold showers. It helped a tonne. Anytime the urges get too strong i just used to jump in the cold shower and let it hit me for awhile then i jump out. It works and there are so many other benefits from cold showers. Try it out. The only time i would not recommend using the cold shower is if you have a medical condition that can get worse from the shower

Another thing stop putting your hand in the fire and expecting it not to get burnt. You are putting yourself in scenarios where you can get triggered. If something plays that you know is a trigger than imediately either lower gaze, look somewhere else or just leave the room. Hope i could help

 

Here's how i beat porn maybe it can help

Porn addiction is a major problem in our world today. However, there are many people who recognize it and are trying to overcome it so trust me when i say you are not alone. If you want to beat this you must join a community that is trying to drop this addiction and an amazing community already exists. This community is called nofap. Go to their website and join their forum.

Now one system in place in this community is that everytime one of us succeeds in overcoming porn they share their success story. And i've finally shared mine in the form of a guide. This is what i sent...

First of all i just want to start off by saying i love you guys. You've all been so open, so inviting, so helpful and so supportive ever since i joined nofap. I realised i was not alone and i had a whole army with me fighting this war of ours together. Joining this community was the first reason I succeeded.

The second reason is religion. To me religion is the guide to life. God put us on this earth to survive and he gave us the Quran as a manual to teach us how.

Now I also wanted to say this is more of a guide than a success story because this guide is my success story

Now i wanted you to understand porn does cause problems: erectyle dysfunction, depression, P.A.Ws, Once my penis bled after masturbating and there's that scary flatline period. All real. And in this life the best people are those who realise that they have problems and are always willing to change themselves throughout their lives.

Now the best advice i can give you regarding porn is to get married. This is a physical need that every human needs met. Don't date because it objectifies people. It's like trying on shoe after another shoe to see until which one fits. That's not how a relationship should work. In a relation you realise you are both different and you try to change to meet each others needs/tolerate each other in unity. That is marriage and if he/she is willing to marry that means they are willing to make a commitment. But you need to take it slow; try to understand each other before marriage. And if it doesn't work out in the end there's always divorce so don't stress. However, don't just marry for lust that is wrong. Marry for the companionship, the romance, the love. Marriage is a wonderful thing.

Now on to the guide...

HABITS
You need to make these things habits or they won't be stuck to your head. Think about how easy it is to brush your teeth in the morning because thats a habit. Its that easy because it's a habit and that is why you need to make your weapons to fight porn habits so its easier to do.

I can make it much easier. There's this one app i used that really helped me out. Its called loop habit tracker. Just try it out and i believe everything will make sense.

COLD SHOWERS
This is the secret weapon to beating porn addiction. It has saved me so many times.

Anytime the urges are too strong just jump in the shower and let the cold water hit you for a couple of minutes and get out. The only time i wouldn't recommend it is if you have a medical condition that can get worse due to a cold shower

I know this can be scary but trust me there are many other benefits to having cold showers all a google click away for you to discover.

If it's very scary just count 5 4 3 2 1 and turn off all you emotions and just turn on the tap.

EXERCISE
This is where making a habit will help the most because the main thing you need to do is push ups.

What i did was i started small: 20 pushups. What i could manage and i did them every day i did them, and everytime it got easier i added 10 more.

The highest i reached was 70 and i could go even further but i stopped because i don't need to do them anymore. The lesson was drilled into my head: my body is incredible and i can always improve it. I may return to them because i want to hit 100

And then for cardio just walk around and run around a lot that should be enough. That's all i did and i built my body from that.

The only other thing you need to do is eat healthy. And also don't forget to stretch its very important.

JOURNAL
This is a key function. You need someone to hear your inner most thoughts. You need someone to share with so why no it be yourself.

Journalling is an incredible tool for self help. And its not only your thoughts you write in it: you write ideas, to-do lists and so on. There are many uses for this journal.

The thoughts in your mind will seem far less complicated when you write them down. Even famous people like Leonardo Davinci used a journal.

Here's a little help; align your journal like this:

Date l Journal
l
I
Try to make it a habit of everyday putting some time into your journal

Thoughts
There is a big problem in nofap and that is that people share their innermost worst thoughts. DON'T. Our minds are fragile and even one thing can give a Fapstronaut a bad idea.

For something like that here's the method: cross your hands behind you. They are tied now. Cross your legs in bed. They are tied. And lower your gaze or look somewhere else. Lower your gaze. That's the best option i can give to you.

Deal with these thoughts like ocd thoughts. What i mean by this is when they come don't be scared of them, accept them, ignore them and move on. Don't give them too much attention or it will get worse. Just remind yourself why you are doing this.

However if it gets really difficult go see and talk to a good doctor. Tell your story and why you are there and they will be able to help you trust me. A good doctor helped me through it too once and now we are good friends

Psychology
I couldn't fight for long for so many years even. But when I changed my environment completely even my porn thoughts reduced drastically.

Remember in the beginning its going to be tough. The quran says "with difficulty comes ease. Certainly with difficulty comes ease". The ease is coming you can do this and Allah says "no soul is burdened more than you can handle". You've got this. Everytime your streak breaks dont feel bad because people have made it and so can you.



Masturbation
If all else fail start masturbating.
Not to porn though. Reduce consisitancy every week. You did 7? Now do 6, and then 5.
Just like the pushups.

Environment
This is what changed me. We moved to a farm where there was no proper electricity or internet. This was an opportunity to detox. I mostly used the phone for whatsapp, messenger or once in awhile research.

I remember in the quran it saying "Your situation won't change until you change". How bad is your life? Terrible right? Than you need change for your life to change.

And now you are thinking how? You need to remove the internet from your life for 3 month except for communication and research. Trust me it works. I was the guinea pig here and it worked. It actually took me 2 months but im still waiting for 3 to see how I'll be.

And you need to fill the void left by all that so i say get into sports (after corona leaves), start reading (nonfiction books will help you build yourself), start doing chores (even a simple thing like making your bed), get or play with pets , go for walks, go for walks with your dogs if its not too aggressive etc. Trust me when i say that you will feel better with this lifestyle. I used to be scared of dropping anime, movies and other stuff but now i don't regret it I have become a juggernaut because i can do so much in one day

My psychologist said make a routine. So try and routine

The main reason you are allowed to go into the internet is whatsapp,messenger and to read articles. No instagram those pics can be triggers

It will start off hard but with difficulty come ease certainly with difficulty comes ease.

Mainly what I'm trying to do is increase ways to keep your distance from porn because the quran basically says dont even go near it.

The same goes for toxic peope. Listen if you're always around bad people chances are you will become like them. If you are around good people chances are you will become good like them because the people you surround yourself with have a large influence on you

Flatline
This is the scariest part in nofap but it means you are healing. You'll feel more tired, sleepy, hungry, depressed e.t.c. it means your body is healing so dont be scared of flatline.

The duration can change depending on how bad your porn addiction was or some other reason (I'm no expert). But it is possible to live under these condition. You just need to adjust your life around it. Don't worry its not as bad as everyone hypes it to be. But then again my flatline maybe different from yours.

Anyways that's that hope you all can beat this like i did. And share it around.

 

Sorry i made a mistake with some quran verses. The proper verses are:
"For certainly with difficulty comes ease. Certainly with difficulty comes ease"