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90 days of Nofap - my results

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by DedicatedChris, Mar 2, 2021.

  1. DedicatedChris

    DedicatedChris Fapstronaut

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    Well, so I've just finished my 90 days of Nofap Hard Mode today. No porn, masturbation and orgasm. Wanna hear about my awesome super powers and how my life changed?

    I don't have them! My life did hardly change!

    Yes, it's the truth. Although I don't feel severe depression any more, which is in fact awesome, I'm still very impulsive and can't focus on anything. Almost no willpower to do anything and socially weird. And most of all: emotionally numb like before, nothing changed there and I can't feel any joy in life... nowhere. On the other side, I don't feel a lot of urges either, they are easily controllable and don't kick in like crazy. Rather, scenes from porn videos come to my mind and I get a boner, but it's never as if I would have to put me in chains cause otherwise I would relapse. I also have to say that I never had ED, just came early (one face of instant gratification I think), but always could give a girl a second round that lasted way longer.

    Will I keep going? Hell yeah, just because my life didn't take a full-blown U-turn doesn't mean that I don't have any benefits. I'm 33 now and basically spent 20 years to wire my brain to sex in front of a screen and get instant gratification in many areas of my life, so I'd be quite a fool if I would expect that to change within 3 months. To be honest, I don't really expect big results until the end of the year. Sometimes I have these cool moments when I feel really good and think I have it all figured out, but the feeling keeps vanishing after a week at the latest.

    I eat healthy, do sports about 3 times a week and, besides porn, also cut out all video games and since yesterday also Youtube. I also keep my phone at a distance and try to only look at it 3-5 times a day. Man, I just want to become a normal person and have the ability to work on my dreams, but its very frustrating at the moment.

    Still - I will keep going and hope I will make it to 180 - you never know what kind of crap your brain throws in your way. And to be honest, I interpret the fact that I don't feel heavy urges in a way of my brain not healing the way it could. It's still a miracle, anyone who knows what I mean and can relate is welcome to give me any piece of advise or where I can read something about it.

    I will keep you guys updated, in 90 days at the latest.

    Stay strong!
     
    Anti-Hero, kropo82, Beekind and 45 others like this.
  2. Franco_gael

    Franco_gael Fapstronaut

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  3. Jamex

    Jamex Fapstronaut

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    Congrats bruh. Keep on moving. Non stop
     
    Shin Iu and control your life like this.
  4. Baerle

    Baerle Fapstronaut

    Good job, keep going! :)
     
    control your life likes this.
  5. Dogwood

    Dogwood Fapstronaut

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    Glad you're seeing *some* benefits. Guys report improvements for up to a year after quitting, so hopefully you will too.
     
    control your life likes this.
  6. Mkwarrior214

    Mkwarrior214 Fapstronaut

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    I feel exactly the same except for me is a bit different because i have a girlfriend... im 124 days no PMo and when i started i thought that i would start to feel amazing after 90 days. Well i still have lots of ups and downs....low confidence, mood swings , low motivation etc...I'm 33 as well and started to watch Porn at 14.
    I don't think i will be back to normal in less than a year, but i keep going and hope for the best. At the moment i decided to have no sex with my girlfriend for 30 days to see if it helps me recover faster.
     
  7. DedicatedChris

    DedicatedChris Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, this is pretty much exactly what I experience within myself. And the girlfriend thing - I have a girl who I see sometimes and, well... it's a bit difficult to say the least. But She basically invited herself to my place for next saturday cause our favourite football clubs play against each other, but mainly to have sex what we didn't have since I started my current streak. I said yes and got weak, but my plan is to not have sex and just give her a good time with everything I have except my penis haha. Hope I will stay strong when she's here. She will probably think I have VD or something :D

    Nevertheless, I still think that I will need a lot more time. I actually think about having sex by meeting new girls, but don't wanna go too fast and rather reboot the hard way first. I'll see... But I do my best to adjust a lot of other bad habits besides porn as well and think that there might be the hidden clue to making faster progress. Like almost no video games, doing more sports and eating healthy. Still, my progress is very slow. But I always say that I need to stay on track with the basics and - as the stoics say - focus on what's under my control, everything else is impossible for me to affect.
     
  8. Mkwarrior214

    Mkwarrior214 Fapstronaut

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    I suggest if you have any possibility of having sex, that should be in the context of a loving relationship instead of a one night stands or friends with benefits!! I've seen a sex and porn addiction counselor and a SA group in the past and he said that sex outside a serious loving relationship is a big NO. Moreover it's advised that even in a relationship the couple
    should abstain for a time (60-90 days) from sexual activity and focus on affection like cuddles, kisses , holding hands and communication.
    I don't regret completely that i had sex since the start from the reboot, because in a way it helped me avoid porn , but now 125 days later that i see more clearly, i think i was just acting out some fantasies in bed especially the first 2 months! That's why sexual activity is not advised in early recovery.
    Obviously not having a close relationship is a difficult thing, but easier in terms of not being horny all the time...

    I suggest you to start these activities if you are not already. I'm doing those and i strongly believe that our brains can create new pathways with time.

    Exercise : At least 15 minutes of cardio every day ( just with less if you can't of do or fast walking for longer periods)
    Meditation : start with 10 minutes per day ( lots of youtube videos)
    Calisthenics : push ups , pull ups etc ( do 2 or 3 sets to start with)
    Wim Hof breathing: Guided Wim Hof Method Breathing - YouTube ( this is really good for the withdrawal)
    Cold showers : every day (even for only 20 seconds) (Also amazing for anxiety etc)
    Read books : Power of now ,the power of habit , the willpower instinct
    Socialising : as much as you can ( difficult with the lockdown)

    The brain is very adaptable to change but it takes time and effort.

    Stay strong and never never give up!!
     
    toziko, El_Basilanacni, Lemy and 6 others like this.
  9. S W

    S W Fapstronaut

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    Congrats on the milestone. Keep building on it.
     
  10. junit0

    junit0 Fapstronaut

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    This is my day 21 and I'm pretty focus on obtain these 90 days, something that's been helping is keep positive like reading story's like these and dedicating a loyal hour everyday of reading and SA group's. Actually Im in hard mode, my wife knows about it and I have a total support from her wich helps a lot but the world turns upside down when I have to tell her the bad news of relapsing. It feels like you were getting closer and closer to a divorce everytime I relapse. I have obatain 43 days and same did not felt any super powers so I really dont think I will feel that big difference in the 90 days, like you say Im 34 spent decades in wiring my bran with P. I dont expect became superman in 90 days, but at least I know that my life is going the right way and will see the results.
     
  11. Redemptionisrequired

    Redemptionisrequired Fapstronaut

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    A very realistic and healthy view of how long it will take for recovery. We also realize what other things have been hijacking our brains during our journey(I.e excess youtube/ usage of social media , internet in general and TV). Which sadly, those sources are often filled with sexually provocative content. I'm at 121 days free of porn, 1 orgasm to fantasy on day 72 and now 50 days of semen retention with no fantasy. I'm also not under the disillusion of a 90 day full 180 in life. This will take time, we must be patient and replace old habits with healthy ones.

    Congratulations on your success brother! You have the right mindset
     
  12. DedicatedChris

    DedicatedChris Fapstronaut

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    Thanks Man! I think that relapsing for once is not a problem, as long as you get back on track afterwards and learn what triggered you. Then it can even be beneficial to relapse.

    For me personally, I think it was not the ubiquitous erotic content that drew me into porn, but rather the instant gratification. My limbic system thinking that I have sex and reproduce without having to do anything for it. And I could flee from reality anytime I wanted to. Porn can be a cool thing, but when you're not in control you pay a price that's so much bigger than the joy you get from it, it's actually sad.
     
  13. Great post! I hear that a full recovery takes at least a year or two but its great to see more people reaching the 90 day milestone. By the end of the year I would expect you will feel a whole lot better.
     
  14. DedicatedChris

    DedicatedChris Fapstronaut

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    Thank you! But as I said, for me it's gonna make a big difference if I work on addiction entirely and not just porn. Most of all everybody needs to find out the reason why he watched so much of it and then cure will be really sustainable.
     
  15. spidermanfan123

    spidermanfan123 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks OP. This is really grounding to read. I will be turning 30 this month and I have a similar history to yours. I need a good reminder that this will take time, and that I should get all my shit together, not just the porn part.
     
  16. pstelar21

    pstelar21 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the post! We're about the same age (I'm 32)... looking through this forum, you are normal. This is the age we live in. We were the guinea pigs of kids growing up with high speed internet/smart phones... porn and sex sites moved quicker than the ability to block them. 90 days is a big effort! Keep going! I like some of the thing that MKwarrior wrote... I found mindfulness (Headspace), exercise, reading/listening to books (especially as my short term attention span is shit!) have all helped find meaningfulness in life. Good luck bro and wishing you all the best!
     
  17. pstelar21

    pstelar21 Fapstronaut

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    Love this list!
     
  18. DedicatedChris

    DedicatedChris Fapstronaut

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    I wanna write an update at this point. 103 days into the journey, I still feel proud about what I've accomplished, but still have crazy brainfog, am very unfocused at any point in my life and have very little drive to accomplishg things, although I have plans and am willing to burn the boats in any regard to make my dreams come true. This healing thing is hard, although I still don't feel a lot of urges tbh. On Saturday I had a girl at my apartment, we've been knowing each other for quite some time and see each other once in a while to ghave some fun. Since I didn't want to destroy my streak I told her I have a bladder infection and we can't have sex, but gave her a good time nevertheless without... you know what I mean.

    Problem being that I didn't feel any drive to do it or to do more, also no urges related to porn. Like I'm completely oblivious, although still getting hard. I know for most people it's quite the contrary that happens, but that's it for me. It's pretty absurd, like my brain has been divided into several parts that don't communicate with each other.

    Of course I will keep going and not give in to porn, no internal argument at this point, but think about having sex again and maybe kickstart my drive this way. It's like my dick feels like having sex, but I don't have any drive. Now as I'm writing this I realize that it might be a withdrawal symptom and pretty much anhedonia... I think a part of my brain still hasn't realized what's going on and is just completely numb and oblivious. Oh man, what have I done to myself in the past...

    Anyone experiencing or has experienced something similar? Or knows about further reading (Except for YBOP, I've read it already :))?
     
  19. Mkwarrior214

    Mkwarrior214 Fapstronaut

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    Oh man believe me i know what is happening to you!! Every brain is different AND it's affected in a different way!
    I understand the need you have to know why things are happening and everything it's very confusing, as I feel exactly the same! Don't forget the main problem is internet porn, novelty, dating sites etc...even mindless browsing for hours has a negative impact in recovery! I limit browsing to maximum 2 hours per day for essential stuff.
    In my case my dick it's working fine now, but my brain is far from healed. To be clear I can have sex , but I still have huge ups and downs in mood!
    My brain fog is still the same since the start and my focus is still shit!
    But I started recently to have these moments of extreme clarity, calm mind , super low stress , happy mood. These moments happen once or twice per week and last for 2-3 hours. This is a sign for me that the something in my brain tries to balance somehow! I want to point that from April 2020 until now I watched porn maybe 3-4 times in total which tells us that time without porn is the most important thing! I didn't have these moments back then, but it started happening recently.
    Just yesterday I was feeling so low , depressed , low confidence , anxious , insecure, jealous, doubt myself and the process and today I feel the opposite!! It looks like the physical aspect is easy to heal , but the brain will take much more time to grow back all these dopamine and grey matter.
    At the moment I'm not having any sex with my girlfriend as i find that it still affects my recovery and I noticed i feel low and depressed for 4-6 days after! And as you did, I try to give pleasure to her once in a while, but making sure I don't fantasize or think about porn scenarios etc. In my case anything oral is out of question at the moment for example. Anything that awakes porn pathways from the past is a big NO.
    The lockdown and lack of social life doesn't help either.

    Guided Wim Hof Method Breathing - YouTube Try that!! Healthy habits like exercise , cold showers , meditation etc
    it's huge for recovery!

    So to recap I know exactly what you are going through.
    Keep fighting and stay strong. We can do this !!!
     
  20. control your life

    control your life Distinguished Fapstronaut

    Congrats and thanks for your story :)
    Besides all the positives you can or you cant get , there is always 3 things , that everybody gets :
    1more energy
    2more free time
    3 better morality
    Regards and keep going pal!
     
    seanc and DedicatedChris like this.

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