P.A.W.S. - what are they, cure, duration

Yeah please link some success stories. I know i have seen at least 10+ but still would love some motivation. On 8 months still feeling like shit everyday. Have been in paws for 4 years. Suicidal thoughts and anhedonia getting worse each month. I know i was a heavy addict but come on man. Im wasting my life.

 

Im far from healed but am able to live a normal life, Im like circa 100 days monk mode, and the first 60 days were a dark dark flatline, but I'm out of that now. Still have constant brain pressure that changes in density - but thats been here for 2 years - and I sometimes have good days, followed by bad days. Sleep and irritability are up. My chess ELO score can swing 100-150 points depending on the week and how I feel. But life is completely manageable for me at this point.

One thing that helped me was being 100% honest with everyone at work and in my life, due to my job (Im the founder of a company) and how debilitating this has been, I had to tell everyone and honestly everyone has been great. Even all my friends I told (I told them from the start) all of them have cut down on pornography etc, so its been a positive influence there too. But by far telling everyone at work was the main thing, so things like meetings, presentations etc I could skip. Obviously not everyone has this luxury, and Im eternally grateful for the position I am in, but if you won't lose your job for disclosing it, I'd open up with everyone at work especially your managers, so they can help you through this time and take the pressure off. For sure this work pressure was the hardest to cope with.

Also its way better now then at the beginning. There is no temptation to PMO at all, sex fantasies are pretty much down to a minimum (once a month a thought crosses mind) - but all these now I have refined processes in place to deal with and mitigate as much tempation, fantasizing etc as possible.

General anxiety has pretty much gone, depression comes and goes slightly. Fatigue is here, irritability and tiredness still here, social anxiety is a 5/10. My ability to think and construct sentences on the fly is 5/10 - but I still learn, read when I can etc

 

Love to hear it bro. You're courageous for letting your people know, and for sure I can imagine how it eases the pressure. Im not in the same position you are, but if I had the courage to tell the guys I live with, I wouldnt have to put up a facade of me being a normal, healthy guy.

 

I began experiencing withdrawal symptoms while I was still watching porn, years before I got it in my head to quit. I think that's because I had periods of unintentional abstinence, where, for weeks at a time, I did not have the privacy required to engage in it—I don't even remember much from that time because the withdrawal symptoms have grown so intense over the years, but that is the most likely conclusion I can draw based on what little I can recall. A handful of other people have reported that their withdrawal symptoms began while they were still using and grew intense when they decided to fully quit, but maybe it's not that common.

Actually, I began feeling a pressure in the back of my head today for the first time since the beginning of my recovery. It's almost a headache, but not quite. Perhaps it'll go away after I sleep, but if it stays it might serve as a reminder that I'm healing.

You've probably already seen these, but these keep me going personally (because the symptoms I struggle with the most are cognitive):

• https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/paws-sexual-exhaustion-1-5-years.175077/#post-1499104 (Symptoms "melt" away after 14 months.)

• https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...drawal-and-my-symptoms-can-you-relate.164085/ (18 months, night and day.)

• https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/csqkbw/yes_end_of_27mo_flatline_826_days/

• https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/7bc6ja/so_i_went_to_take_a_haircut/ (Not cognitive, but OP says a lot of symptoms are resolved for him in the comments below.)

• https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/who-else-experiences-severe-brain-fog.79593/#post-631641 (18 weeks to start feeling good.)

There's a ton of success stories out there, you just have to dig a little bit for the "good" ones. A lot of people disappear when they heal, so you have to account for that. The main thing to remember is that the time it takes to recover varies from person to person. The OP in the second Reddit thread said it took him six months to begin healing, and areborn27's symptoms began to melt away after 14 months, so always be open to the idea that you can just wake up any day now and start feeling normal again. But also remember that it could be closer to two years, perhaps even three if your brain really has some healing to do (maybe there's a correlation between the age at which we initially discovered porn and how long it takes). Find a balance between optimistic and realistic.

 

I'm still drinking (in moderation, two beers max) every weekend, but there's really no way to know until I come out of this. That said, I've read similar things. I even read an account of one guy who was drinking pretty regularly, eating junk food and doing other types of recreational drugs who still began feeling better despite it all. The way I see it, unless you're trying to recover from alcohol addiction just as hard as you're trying to recover from porn addiction, and your brain chemistry isn't overly sensitive to alcohol, it's not a huge gamble to drink occasionally or even somewhat frequently while recovering from porn. But it's ultimately up to you.

The fear that you could spend several months in recovery and have it be pushed back or even slowed entirely because you were drinking, only to realize too late, is one I can relate with, but I don't fear it as much anymore, especially after reading people's success stories. Still, it's good to keep drinking to a minimum, just in case. I've been thinking about quitting, since I've eliminated a lot of bad habits over the last two years, and I feel more ready to do so the more my time in abstinence progresses.

 

On the other hand, you are saving your life! If you can get through this and never go back, then this will have been the most worth-while and productive thing you've ever done. I'm nearly at the 6 month mark hardmode, and every day feels like a waste on one level, but on another I know I'm doing something incredibly important simply by giving my body and brain the chance to recover; it's my body that's doing the work - even if it looks like I'm just sitting on the sofa watching TV, I know that something profoundly positive is happening. It's just very frustrating when you feel like sh*t every day and can't do anything. But hang in there, and think about the things you'll be able to do once you are healed.

 

Man, if I did this I'd be persona-non-grata in every area of my life. I think that you are benefitting from more than your position as a company founder. I am guessing that you have a work/social circle of people who are more open-minded and less judgemental than most. If I did what you have, I'd have no friends. (I've already lost my job, but even if I hadn't I wouldn't think about doing this). Is this a cultural thing? I live in the UK, I'm guessing you are in the US. Brits tend to be very snarky about stuff like this. Could also be an age / generational thing - I'm pushing 50; again, no-one I know my age wants to talk about PMO-related stuff - even people I've known for 30+ years. Younger people seem to be more open...?

Either way, kudos to you for having the guts to do it - I'm sure it will help open up the conversation that the whole world needs to have about PMO and its effects.

 

Hey Dave, I saw your posts in the beginning of this thread aswell, is their a place I can read your story? I’m very interested to know when your journey started and how it’s going

 

Could you link the reports from these people, bro?

 

Had to dig a little to find it.
https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...ms-can-you-relate.164085/page-17#post-2360672

There are others, but I wasn't able to find them. I need to remind myself to get more organized with archiving the posts. There's a lot of gold that can be really motivating to those of us in severe withdrawal. Of course, they're all anecdotal and we should still be cautious when it comes to how we approach them individually, since we're all different, but anecdotes are our area of expertise.

 

If I grasp his post correctly, his first 150 days he felt great? Maybe he hadn't entered PAWS yet?

 

It's possible. We all experience PAWS differently. That said, my understanding of it is that SLeepisLost began feeling good relatively early in the process, as seems to be relatively common for first-time rebooters, and that it persisted until he relapsed (at which point kindling began to kick in, causing him to have to go longer to see results again). He may have been fine if he hadn't relapsed. I'm sure he lurks this thread too, so he may be able to offer some more insight if he sees this.

For some, kindling doesn't quite come into the picture until they start relapsing and binging between streaks, whereas for me, for example, it was ubiquitous. I was dealing with post-acute withdrawal way before I even knew that pornography was a serious problem and I had to quit. But I think it's gotten worse for me with every relapse.

 

My paws definately appeared after long reboots followed by relapses and binges. The first time I quit porn (1,5 years), the symptoms were very mild compared to now. The most common were low libido, mild depression and cognitive impairment. Now I have a whole bunch of horrible ones:

-anhedonia
-severe depression
-horrible anxiety
-lack of motivation
-tension headaches
-insane brain fog at times
-low libido
-semen leakage

And the list goes on...

 

How far along are you?

Have you relapsed at all during this streak?

 

My Journal

 

I've been thinking about antidepressant withdrawal and how it can relate to our PAWS struggles. It's always recommended to taper antidepressants slowly, because going cold turkey risks terrible withdrawal symptoms.

I'm pretty sure most of us just went cold turkey without thinking more of it. Going cold turkey with alcohol can straight up kill you. So what if it's a similar deal with porn addiction? Maybe we could all have avoided this PAWS mess by slowly "tapering" our usage.

 

Hey Everybody. This is my first post on this forum. I’ve been PM free for about 15 months (I still O because I’m married) and am still in PAWS. It manifests itself mostly through depression and anxiety at this point. I get the occasional brain fog, dizziness, and headaches occasionally. I just want to say that if you are going through this I am with you. It’s by far the hardest thing I have ever done. I am trying to view it as a crucible for refinement. We will be better people not only because the symptoms have gone away but because we had to endure them. If we can get through this I truly believe we can get through anything. Not trying to get all churchy but if you get down on the Bible read Psalm 86 it’s helped me immensely during this season.

 

Can you link Psalm 86?

 

So, guys another update.... what plagued me after all these years with symptoms... I am now totally cured since having septoplasty. I had a 'markedly' deviated septum that must have been present since a teen or childhood, I would of got used to this style pf breathing, basically one blocked nose all the time without thinking twice. Anyway causes low oxygen in the body overtime and lack of sleep. My nails were starting to club etc. So infact all these years with the symptoms was down to my septum, oxygen and lack of sleep. I feel like a new man.

 

Does that mean you're going back to porn then?