35 and Older Accountability Group

Checking in on Day 30

Making some changes this week in my recovery process, but - like so many other things - it can be frustrating when things don't move as quickly as I'd like. Just got to keep that momentum, and keep myself engaged.

 

Awesome man, great milestone and very impressive to see the discipline and positive outlook. I have myself also found more time for reflection, focus, and discipline (in my case through reading the Wait But Why posts on procrastination and turning those into a structured morning routine to start on the most important tasks and plan out my work tasks for the day), which in turn makes it easier to continue to stay clear of old habits. Right on!

 

I had a good day today.

It's not a new lesson but a good reminder for me - I can't just stop PM, I need to become a better person and accomplish things with my new freedom.

 

I'm inspired by seeing so many good streaks. @JJ_Kino is closing in on 90!

 

This part really resonated with me. Sometimes I'd LOVE to go to my rooftop and shout "I'M A PORN ADDICT!"
But seriously, this actually seems like the worst part of this addiction, that it's such a Taboo in society and it is mostly done behind closed curtains, which leads to more depression and feeling isolated and alone. It really helps to speak up about it with someone. And this confidence to do that usually only comes after staying away from it for a while. Glad you could talk about it with your friend!

 

Well said.

It's difficult enough to admit the problem to myself, let alone anyone else. That must surely go some way to explaining why it's so difficult to break - if you can't even acknowledge the problem, then how on earth are you supposed to look for help?

I'm finding that the affirmations from SPAM REMOVED (spam code #001) - REPORT TO MODERATION (easy peasy) are really helpful. When the little monster throws up a suggestion of some kind, I can respond with "I don't do that anymore," or "isn't it great to be free of that?" It sounds twee and rubbish, but is turning out to be quite effective.

 

Thanks bro, you can too, I believe in you!

 

@jaberwaki - lots of good posts from you - always appreciate your perspective and your diligent process you are on. Very inspiring!

I tried having this discussion with 3 male friends, 2 of whom had nothing to say in response, likely due to the fact that from what I've observed of their behavior with women they have unacknowledged sex addiction issues. The third was totally supportive but I knew he would be as he was during my two divorces and other life events.

Sorry to hear you are going through divorce. No two ways about it, it sucks, especially if there are kids involved. But I am on marriage #3 and I almost f'ed this one up too and I firmly believe that if I had not started NF last June this marriage would be ending too. As it is, I have been able to bring a much improved version of myself to repairing the marriage. So jabberwaki, stay strong, there will be a better relationship for you in the future some day. Because You are better. Keep up the good work.

 

Another good day. 2 is nice. 3 would be the start of something good, so here's to tommorow!

 

Love this! I agree it is very hard to admit to a friend that you have a porn addiction but it is SO empowering! I have told a small number of close friends and I have never regretted it because I know I am doing everything I can to rid myself of this addiction so I am proud of myself. It does hide in the dark but is an issue for so so many people...we're just being honest that's the difference.

 

Checking in...still going strong with this streak. I have had a difficult few days where mood was low and felt overwhelmed which is a major trigger for me..I could feel the urges getting stronger but I was able to tell myself that it is such a waste to get to 23 days and binge again....because I knew that even though I might get some very short lived respite from my feelings, ultimately I would feel so much worse and would binge heavily on hardcore P and be full of shame and regret....this always happens so somehow I was able to make a different choice and do something else and now I am feeling stronger again and determined to keep going. It is a significant moment for me but of course I'll never get complacent as I know we are only ever one or two clicks away from a relapse

 

Checking in

 

Approaching first milestone of 7 days tonight

 

Day 71 checking in. Solid night sleep, good plans for the day, ready to rock!

 

It's only a day, but at least it's a day! Here's to another one.

 

Still here.

 

Thanks @artifact much appreciated, it's a crazy road I feel blessed to have made it this far.

It's mad to think that I haven't nutted in 90 days lol but I'm not going anywhere, gotta keep.trucking if I am going to beat this.

God bless all

 

Checking in. Had a solid day yesterday and a good night's sleep, but woke up with a sore throat this morning so going to be paying attention to how my energy levels are affected and plan accordingly.