Is my health issue cause by the porn addiction?

It's High and Low....
Wake up almost suicidal one day and optimistic the next. But definitely more bad days than good ones.

 

The only thing I take right now is magnesium because it helps me sleep. Some people say zinc helps their recovery, but it didn't help me.

 

If I could give you two likes instead of one...

 

I feel you man. The roller coaster ride of emotions turn u from king to beggar within hours.
My case is not as bad as yours, its only bad within the first month of relapse but i did resign from my job though.
You have been here for quite sometime man. Hope everything eases out for u soon.

 

@aliggg reading through the thread I would like to make a statement:

"there is a chance you may not be fully recovered by the Autumn"

I don't want to offer negative advice in any way, but my addiction length is very similar to yours (16 years). I am currently on a 300 odd day streak, on hard mode and I still have some (not all) of the symptoms you have mentioned. While putting a date on when you expect to be "fixed" creates hope, you could be setting yourself up for disappointment. Trust the process you can definitely heal, but you have to abide by the rules and try your best to steer clear of any porn, masturbation or orgasm.

After 300 days I am gradually beginning to see improvements, but we cannot afford to get complacent and believe we will be fixed after a specific amount of days, weeks or months. There are some that have gone 18-24 months before fully recovering. There are also some that have gone, 3-6-9 months. Be willing and ready to accept either scenario.

 

As of today (310 days no PMO) these are my symptoms:

​

Morning fatigue
Upon waking in the morning I will struggle to get out of bed. It's that feeling of wanting to snooze non-stop and not get up. However once you get up and about, 9/10 times you will feel fine. Some days are better than others, but the key is to remember that it is part of the reboot. Accept that fatigue is and will be part of the reboot process and try and get as much rest as you can, where you can.

Brain Fog
Unfortunately brain fog still exists, however it is NOWHERE near as bad as it was 3/6 months ago. I can think and focus a lot better than before, but I still have issues with remembering words suddenly and/or forgetting my train of thought. I work as an IT Manager with a team, and often have to hold and attend meetings with staff. When I started my streak, when it was my time to speak during a meeting I would literally, waffle and stumble my way through the conversation. I would have write down all my notes, and even then I could not read them clearly without stuttering or forgetting what I just read. Team members would look at me like 'what has happened to him'. I would leave meetings feeling like a fool. This has gradually changed to the point I can run a meeting casually without needing to focus too much on my every word. I am also able to throw sarcasm/wit into conversations for good measure.

Dopamine Craving/Urges
Craving and urges still very much exist, but like brain fog nowhere near as much as before. The quote you are what you eat is the biggest clue to overcoming urges. Whenever I eat junk food, drink alcohol or binge on computer games and the internet, cravings and urges are sure to follow. In short, the better your lifestyle/diet the easier the cravings and urges will become. I will say it again: the better your lifestyle/diet the easier the cravings will become. A lot of guys are struggling to get past 30 days, and the truth is, if they just changed their diet and lifestyle they could break that 7/14/21/28 day barrier. At 300 days I still have days where I want to sit and eat junk food and binge on computer games, but the urge is nowhere near as bad as it was before. I haven't ordered takeaway or drunk alcohol in over 300 days. Do I miss alcohol? Not really. Do I miss junk food? Sometimes. But if you want to get through this thing, you have to be willing to make the sacrifice. The truth is, if eat a KFC for lunch, followed by McDonalds in the evening and cheesecake for dessert, and follow it up with a 2 hour gaming session, it is highly likely that I will feel just as bad (if not worse) as you feel today. The point is again, you are what you eat. Eat shit and you will feel like shit. I'm not saying you can't treat yourself or that you need to go vegetarian, but find healthy alternatives to make the journey easier.

Emotions (Anxiety/Depression/Loneliness/Boredom etc.)
Emotions have improved drastically at 310 days. Before falling into a PMO addiction I was a social butterfly. I could work a room of strangers without a shred of worry or anxiety. I would strike up strong relationships and never think about or worry about my self worth. Throughout my streak anxiety has at times been crippling. My anxiety was so bad, that I would begin to sweat profusely during social settings. I dreaded going to the barbershop for a haircut because there was always this feeling of dread that it would happen. I avoided visiting close friends and family. I missed birthdays and even weddings. I was a recluse. After the first 4 months or so things gradually got better. I would say within the past 6-8 weeks (8 months) I have reached the point where I can hold eye contact much better and lead a conversation quite well, without anxiety kicking in. I am still not 100% back to normal, but I'm slowly getting there.

Loneliness is almost a thing of the past for me. I can sit alone reading a book for hours, or listening to music and not feel alone. Loneliness (unlike anxiety) has gotten better at a quicker rate. But I don't think you can rely on time alone to heal your loneliness. It is an internal battle. It takes understanding that being alone and lonely are two different things. As I write this I sit alone but I am not lonely. Get it? I have had one or two days where I suddenly feel lonely, but you need to act on it. When you are hungry you eat, when you are tired you sleep. When you are lonely seek company/support, only make sure it is in the form of someone and not something.

Morning Wood
Morning wood is and always will be a complex topic when it comes to recovery. For me it is hit and miss and somewhat sporadic. For example, on Day 52 I was getting 60% morning wood. This lasted for 3/4 days I then dropped into a flatline for two weeks without any morning wood. At day 310 I have been in flatline for the last 60 days and have only had morning wood here and there at no better quality than 20%. This case may relate to just me, but the point is that recovery is not linear. At around Day 50 I thought I was coming towards the white light, that by 90 days I would be ready to go, and yet here we are day 310. Do not get me wrong, you could hit day 90 and be set, good to go. It is very possible. But if day 90 comes and 'Excalibur is not ready to emerge from the stone', do not be upset. Keep going. At this point I have resigned myself to the fact that recovery could take at least another year, anything earlier is simply a bonus. I literally just received a phone call from an old flame that very likely would like to meet up and spend the night together. While every bit of me wants to stop writing, and accept the call to invite her over, my recovery needs to come first. There will be plenty of time for these type of 'shenanigans' once recovered.

Supplements
There are a long list of supplements suggested and advertised throughout this forum, and while I have tried and tested the majority of these, I can recommend approx. 4 that have and continue to 'work' for my recovery. When I say work I do not mean immediate fixing of your PIED but lessening of the withdrawal symptoms, making your days somewhat easier.

• Uridine (500mg)
• CDP Choline (500mg)
• Omega 3 Fish Oil Capsules
• Vitamin B12
• Zinc

The supplements above (minus Zinc) are known as the Uridine Stack. The Uridine Stack is a combination of supplements that when combined aid in the repair of dopamine receptors. Rather than explain in detail, it may be beneficial to provide a link below which explains the process in full. However be warned, the uridine stack as well as Zinc can and probably offer a large surge in energy. Meaning if you are not yet able to manage or resists urges, it will increase the chances of a relapse. Simply put, taking the uridine stack could create a tradeoff. Quicker recovery through the repair of dopamine receptors, with a relapse and recovery setback if you cannot handle the urges. I would suggest waiting at least 90 days, before attempting to take the stack. Start off with a smaller dose (250mg) and see how you get on.

Hope this helps.

https://www.slideshare.net/DannyFries/the-uridine-supplement-stacks-help-repair-dopamine-receptors

 

This is actually my 3rd streak. I have 2 prior streaks that both lasted approx. 7 months. Both ended when I attempted to be intimate with someone too early. I listened to the general NoFap community and began attempting to 'rewire'. To rub salt in the wound, on the first streak, I had woken up with a 100% erection that day and felt absolutely amazing. That same evening a girl I worked with invited me out for drinks, we spent time together, and I ended up O'ing while being intimate with her. At this point I didn't realise that to fully heal I needed to avoid O like the plague. So straight after I started a fresh streak and 6/7 months later I got involved with another girl, we started having sex (very poor sex at that) and the depression, insomnia, anxiety came rushing back. At that point I concluded I needed to either a) be intimate with no O or b) go it alone until fully healed. I decided to wait until I'm fully healed. The point I am making is the longer you wait to reboot, the longer you are going to be stuck in this position. I am telling you that you have to be patient and go through the motions.

I cold shower in the mornings and meditate twice a day for 15 minutes each session. There have been periods where my focus just isn't there and I struggle to meditate. But 80% of the time I will try and get some meditation in. I think for me, meditation is and has been the game changer with recovery. It just takes time to get used to.

For the past 10-days I undertook a dopamine fast which involved:

• No caffeine/soft drinks/drugs/alcohol
• No internet (unless work related)
• No junk food (processed snacks cookies/cakes etc.)
• Exercising 3 days a week minimum
• No social media use (YouTube, Facebook, Twitter)
• No gaming

In short this was extremely hard and the reality is that it is not sustainable - not for me anyway. So going forward the idea is to limit specific activities. Caffeine/soft drinks I can cut out until further notice. The same goes for junk food and social media. However I am allowing myself to use the internet for leisure for no more than 90mins per day. As for gaming no more than 1 hour per day every other day. I just think to cut all those activities 100% of the time and go cold turkey is unrealistic.

I think you are on the right track with cutting down digital immersion. You just have to try your best to be consistent. I noticed that if I binge on dopamine for too long, so spending hours on the internet, or playing games for too long I get shrinkage. Its almost as if the increase in dopamine usage is reflected downstairs. Give it approx. 24 hours and it gradually grows more flaccid. But I agree, that abstaining from activities that release dopamine should speed up your recovery. Like I said, you may wake up tomorrow and suddenly feel a lot better. The reality is everyone is different and we do not know enough about the individual factors that effect recovery just yet.

L-Tyrosine and 5-HTP both sit in the medicine cupboard at the moment. The problem I have with L-Tyrosine is that its like supplementing for energy. It often left me with a buzzing feeling? Almost as if my head is buzzing from the energy rush? Something to remember is that supplements like L-Tyrosine will boost the production of dopamine. But this does not treat the root cause of the issue which is; your dopamine receptors are fried. A hotel with 50 rooms cannot house 100 guests. The dopamine cannot plug into receptors that are no longer there. You are trying to upregulate your dopamine receptors, so ideally you want to build the receptors back naturally. How do you build them naturally? By exercising. By meditating. By earning your dopamine.

We need to be careful that we are not producing too much dopamine in the brain. Too much dopamine results in excess dopamine. Excess dopamine results in our brains hunting for ways to release it. Our brain hunting for ways to release dopamine results in urges. Urges result in overeating, over-drinking, PMO.. can you see where this is going?

 

Great story there man! And i could really feel you on the food part. I binge on food just to ease on other urges (gaming etc) but didnt realise that my gut has tons of nerves directly link to the brain. If u messed up your gut you messed up your brain.

Its like when u abstain from pmo your urges will go into a continuous cycle of urge to either play game> social media> eat and eat and eat > sexual fantasies> pmo.

Regarding morning wood and its relation to curing pied is kinda vague. To cure PIED you have to rewire and thats it. Abstaining wont cure it but a woman/partner can. It doesnt mean that u have to have sex, just being around them can rewire your sexual senses and i can assure you this. People might find this stupid or whatever, preferably i would like my wood be dead throughout my reboot period. It eases a lot of things with a dead penis. ( Fyi i have the extreme case of PIED where i cant even get it up with porn and went through 2 relationship almost sexless). Trust me you can heal PIED with a partner of course.

Currently im looking into this ADHD thing and past trauma it seems to light up certain unexplored area for me. Also objectifying woman is also another problem for me. I thought i was not objectifying them but in reality im kinda stuck between respecting and objectifying them at the same time which dont make sense because at the end of the day im still objectifying them.

 

It is difficult to explain. Something important to understand is that I did not relapse to sexual intercourse but from an orgasm through being intimate.

Did I feel like shit after relapsing? Yes.
Did I feel lack of motivation and social anxiety etc? Yes
Did brain fog make a guest appearance? Absolutely
Did I feel like I had completely gone back to the start of my reboot? No - not quite

After orgasming and realising the position I was now in. I went into denial. I believed that because I had been intimate with someone and not involved P, it wasn’t really a relapse and that I would be fine. But as the fatigue started to set in, and I began to feel that lack of emotion and drive again, I knew I had to reset and start over.

If I had to quantify the progress difference, after 7 months that 1 orgasm put me back to approx month 2. So 1 orgasm set me back 5 months and chipped approximately 70% off of my progress. Do not get me wrong, I didn’t feel as bad as I did when I first started rebooting, but believe me it wasn’t too far off. Brain fog returned, anxiety returned, fatigue returned but they all weren’t as bad as they originally was.

So to conclude, if you relapse even once, it is highly likely that the withdrawal symptoms will return. Just how ruthless the symptoms are will depend on how strong your streak was.

Prevention is obviously better than cure.

 

On my 116 day streak I also noticed vivid dreams begun at around 70 or so days. These have faded away now with multiple relapses though, meaning I basically have rewiring my brain back to needing PMO again and will now have to go through numerous flatlines and such

 

It depends how you’re objectifying them. If you’re just checking them out and enjoying what you see that’s one thing but if you’re looking at them when they bend over and shit that’s a different story

 

I understand but the situation always start with something innocent like wow shes pretty and all, after i will start to look at everything else. A close example is like looking at sexy pictures and ended pmoing.

I want to look at her and like really get to know her personally instead but usually ended up stuck there like a creep.

 

I can relate. It’s a tough balance to constantly control your mind from trying to get a better view. It takes a lot of strength

 

Man whatever you do, do not edge. If you've masturbated, whatever you do, you reset the count, otherwise you'll fool yourself into thinking you can masturbate without O and that's the self-destruction version of NoFap, you will masturbate more and more like a descending spiral, you'll eventually O or you'll just get blue balls, and I'm 90% sure your adrenal and norepinephrine systems will go over the roof if you edge. You masturbate without O, you reset the count, don't torture yourself.

 

Any updates from anyone here? I feel like I have a lot of the health stuff being discussed here (been to doctor numerous times).

 

Hi, I need you to answer something, I've been dealing the same symptoms as you since mid 2020, specially the floater part.
I've read a lot of posts in here, and I'm sure that floaters are related about PMO, in fact, a lot of people in noFap has/had eyefloaters.

I want to know if not PMO'ing has cured or improved your floaters, I swear I really HAVE the same story as you, I am even 20 y.o starting with these weird symptoms.
Please, please I want to know if I can improve that, I can't live anymore with floaters interfering in my sight every time.
I tried to not doing PMO since april, but I can't reach 1 week without relapsing, I've noticed little improvement, but it isn't enough.

Thank you really for doing this post, I'll really try hard to not doing PMO ever again.