My Wife Left Me...

The same reason you're crying over her leaving is the same reason she left.

That will sting at first, but the sooner you understand that the quicker you'll move on.

Read "the rational male" if you want a chance in life with women.

 

I think that for her having to live with your mother played a big role in all this.

Anyway, everyone has a moment in life, or many moments, where everything looks to crumble, everything u had and everything you built crumbles. That's how u grow, everybody has those moments in life. which are not pleasurable to be into, but u will look at this in some time and almost forget it.

 

From the sounds of it, you were making necessary financial decisions after losing your job. Any woman who couldn't stick with you through the end of that isn't worth keeping. For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. These things are supposed to mean something and I'm sorry she couldn't see you through your temporary misfortune.

At least you have family there for you.

 

Sounds like you are better off without her and she done you a favour. What if you had a serious illness? Would she have still left you to deal with it on your own? Now you are free to find someone better. This is only temporary. You will bounce back better than before. Just remember when things get better, if she wants to get back with you, that she left at the first sign of trouble and did not help get ye out of this situation.

Good luck!

 

Sounds like she wasn’t willing to stick it out with you through bad times. Sounds like you were taking the necessary steps for financial security and long term you would have moved out your mother’s house and back to living with just your wife again. I think you should accept it and move on while you have the chance and take it as an opportunity to have a bit more freedom, build your own life back up to the level you want in terms of being happy with your job, finances, living arrangement etc and then can move on and find someone else after the divorce. This is assuming it’s over and considering the post it sounds like it is. It also sounds like you didn’t have kids together which complicates things a lot less. Good luck

 

amen

@alexandrebois im really sorry man. Women these days are kind of rotten. This is a brutal MGTOW red pill moment potentially for you. She doesn't care about you but only what you can provide for her. Women... smh

 

Love is conditional she does love you, but the conditions of the relationship changed. Don't blame her, is normal.

 

you need to focus your energies on work find work a person must work to generate more an more energies an these energies is what attracts others ,

 

How old is she and how long were you two together?

 

Similar story here. Got a divorce after my wife went insane from drinking heavily and refusing to consider stopping it. Had a job I loved and lost it to an alcoholic boss who drank it away. Moved to the only apartment I could afford and because it was far from work I needed a car which broke down. Got the only car I could afford which broke down 8 months later and I had no savings to get another one. Had to move in with my parents in another state at age 40.
Decided "fuck it" and got a job and saved money since I didn't have to pay rent. Had nothing to lose so I traveled South America for a year on my savings. Went back to the States, got another job while living at my parents and saved even more. Took off for Eastern Europe two years ago and have been traveling since. Now I live in a small, quiet country, have a great girlfriend, a budding small business and my life has never been better. The future is still up in the air but it always was. I've done more in the years since my drunken asshole wife and I got divorced than in my whole previous life. Take that loss and run with it dude. This is an opportunity like no other you've ever had. Don't let it go to waste. Take that pain, learn to live with it and do what you have always wanted to do. My life isn't perfect but if I die today I can honestly say that I have lived enough to justify my death. Peace

 

Never ever ever ever leave your parents , parents are worth priceless while the girls like her worthless

 

A few thoughts from someone whose marriage of 20+ years was threatened by 40+ years of Porn and Masturbation, and now my marriage is getting stronger and stronger it's amazing.

You were married for 8 months, you do not go into much discussion on what the Discussions were like after she separated from you and moved out.

Maybe she married you for your 'prospects' (own place, have a car and a job) and that was more important to her than you as a person. The term 'gold-digger' comes from females who prioritize things and possessions above all else.

I'd say this: if there's no chance of reconciliation (reading your post again, she wants a divorce but it hasn't been made final) then that is that. But did you approach her and talk about your addiction to porn and masturbation? Did you confess everything, and tell her you were getting help, and getting off your rear end and actually DOING something about it? There are so many avenues of help - from weekly sessions organized through NoFap.com (only $20/month, crazy affordable), getting an accountability partner (again through this site), a free podcast called Porn Free Radio, books that are affordable (I'm reading one now called Quit Porn, Get Rich: The Unspoken Rule of Successful People and it's quite insightful).

One more thing: if the divorce is going through, and you only spent 8 months married and a few years together, you can be happy about the rest of your life's possibilities. If you are in your 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's or even 60's (I'll draw the line there ha ha) you have many decades of pornography-free living, putting that sexual energy to work on so many other awesome things. Look up "Opportunity Cost" and what that means in your situation. Much better to split assets after 8 months of marriage (especially now when your assets are relatively few) rather than 8 or 28 years of marriage. Not to mention to have all that shared experience to throw away.

The last thing: if you want more information about where sexual energy could be redirected (after you leave your porn and masturbation habit) look up Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich, chapter 11 or 12 (depending on the edition) on Sexual Transmutation.

 

All you talked about from the minute you got married was how much more you loved porn over your wife. How you had no interest in sex. How you only liked one night stands. How you only married her because she was pregnant. And you think the ONLY reason she said fu** it was because you foolishly wasted $100k? Don’t get me wrong, I believe you losing your job, moving your wife in with your mom absolutely helped influence her decision. However, do not discount your lack of emotional maturity, connection, and complete lack of desire for your wife. My husband had a great job, we had plenty of money and I wanted a divorce 6 months after marriage because he had no desire for me, he had no connection with me, and he did not listen to me when I told him I was unhappy with our relationship and wanted counseling. If he had lost his job and moved me in with his mother on top of all of that, I think I would’ve left too. But the loss of money in no way would’ve been the real reason, it would’ve been the straw that broke the camels back

 

When on Earth were you guys doing before marriage, then? It’s funny how a marital oath tends to immediately screw things up sometimes.

@OP: you can make it, man.

 

I was a virgin when I married. So we weren’t “ doing” anything.

 

Also, what we now know and understand, my husband has IA so when we dated he connected because we didn’t have sex. As soon as we had sex he isolated because it was too intimate and too closely resembled porn in his mind.

 

What’s IA?

 

Intimacy anorexia, about 30% of addict have it,. Once that’s addressed the addiction can be addressed. But if they have it and only address the addiction, relationships don’t always get better.

 

Patrick Carnes addressed it in his book “ Facing the shadows”. My husband didn’t think he had it! As he was doing the homework in the book and I was reading about it and I told him that it sounded exactly like him! So he went back through it in his group and realized that’s exactly what he had.