P.A.W.S. - what are they, cure, duration

This is interesting. I think you have elaborated on this before as well. Is it the same feeling as before or it has changed a bit considering more time has passed since your brain escaped hell.

 

Oh dude I feel you so very deeply. How long were you addicted and how long have you been off?

 

Good stuff, dude. Congrats.

Did you have sex in those years of recovery? How about now, any sex without physical or mental consequences?

Thx

 

Hey man, I was about to write you directly about my current condition but its good that I write here for everyone.

My 02 years are completing in about two weeks i.e. at the end of April. This includes about 08 months of hard mode which I am still continuing. Sadly, my PAWS are still ongoing and I haven't felt any recovery in last 06-08 months. If I go back to around Aug 2020, I felt around 50% recovered but from there onwards, I just haven't felt any recovery or any of the symptoms getting better or going away. It just have been quite frustrating and difficult to be honest especially since I am doing hardmode. So to summarize, my recovery from PAWS is on pause for last 08 months for no particular reason I can find. Social anxiety is still killing me. Forehead pressure whenever I am working on a difficult problem or trying to socialize. Anhedonia is gone. Heart rate/breathing is better but not perfect esp in social scenarios. Fight/Flight response is like 20:80 in favor of flight. Eye contact problem is gone. Relationship with wife going down the hill because of hardmode.

 

Thought of this analogy:

Porn addiction is akin to a cut or wound. (Funny that I used to pick my scabs as a kid).

The moment you start leaving it alone for a couple days, it begins to itch.

The urge to scratch the itch is especially strong in the beginning phases of the healing process, though the itch never goes away until the wound is fully healed up and scar tissue has taken its place. And even then, small urges to scratch occur until long after the scar tissue has taken the wound's place.

Each time you give in to the urge to scratch the bastard, the wound deepens and the healing process get's restarted (not always to the beginning, though the deeper the wound the worse the restart, especially with the truly deep ones, which are not only reset, but are usually exponentially worsened by any touching of the wound at all).

The deeper the wound, the more pain endured during recovery, and the longer the recovery will take.

If the wound is left alone for a long period, and then scratched forcefully and severely, the wound get's deepened more than if the itch had been lightly scratched on a daily basis. The reason for this is the the wounded skin becomes tender during the healing process, leaving a painful, open door that would otherwise be covered, thus exposing the full depth of the wound. If the exposed core of the wound is then violently itched, true, deep damage occurs, though you are never beyond the threshold of recoverable.

Scratching around the wound doesn't alleviate the itching sensation, though you often do so because the urge to scratch can be so potent at certain intervals.

In essence, the scratching sensation can only be alleviated through the actual itching of the wound.

Also, during high pain intervals, it is very difficult to think of anything else other than the wound and how painful and itchy it is. It is nigh near impossible to be immersed in the life around you while this wound of yours is pulsating with pain and itchiness. This is something you will truly despise about the wound's existence.

Itchiness often accompanies healing pains, though either can appear without the other.

Depending on the severity of the wound, your whole body is affected by it. Energy is lost in the restoration, whilst other processes are altered as the body searches for homeostasis.

The scar tissue left over can seem unsightly to an untrained, outsider's perspective, unless the outsider is someone with empathy, or is someone who has scars of their own and, henceforth, know how trying the process can be. Respect is given immediately.

To scar is tougher than the skin surrounding it, though, ironically, it is easier to open than the softer, untouched tissue.

The existence of the scar allows you to truly appreciate what's it's like to not be wounded. Life becomes richer because of this awareness.

(To Don)--Sometimes you have to relearn how to live without the itchiness and pain, since so much of your current self was built around recovering from the wound without, once, itching it. Also, the other pains of life make themselves known now that the deep wound is no longer occupying all of your attention.

You may learn that the wound was, at first, created because you didn't want to feel those other pains. But now you are a much stronger person, and are able to address those pains with your newfound appreciation for how minor they are compared to the one that made that giant fucking scar.


Not very poetic. I'm still a dumb mother-effer because of my symptoms, but I think this helps me make sense of this bullshit.

 

02 years of no porn & no masturbation which includes last 08 months of hardmode and continuing.

I have no idea what sleeping with my wife would do to me. Further, because of PAWS, I am in no mood to have sex. I just want to continue my hardmode until I recover.

Yes, the head pressure does interfere because it is followed by brain fog, anxiety and fight/flight response. This occurs almost always in a social scenario. It's like my social anxiety kicks in one symptom after another culminating in fight/flight response in the end.

 

I've got to say, sex could hold back your recovery. Have you talked to your wife about what you're doing, and what you're going through?

 

Yes, the last time I had sex with my wife was 08 months ago. If you remember, I started nofap to cure PIED. After it got cured, I obviously started having sex with my wife. Then God blessed us with a beautiful daughter. I used the pregnancy and delivery time to go hard mode to speed up my recovery process. Yes, my recovery has been gradual. Not all of a sudden.

Yes man. Obviously. Read my story in the signature below of my earlier recovery from PIED.

 

I hope it goes like you say.

 

So basically, what you're saying is that you did 02 years normal mode followed by 02 years hard mode ? And after that you felt normal ?

 

As my cognition and energy levels are at a really bad point right now. I‘m feeling a lot of peace by just reading those words. Thanks Don for coming by and giving us all some courage and motivation. It's highly appreciated mate

 

Yep, same here. Feels like Alzheimers and CFS at the same time. Wish I could be on some deserted green island for a couple of years. Society's demands are not really beneficial for recovery. I feel like a slave in our civilisation

 

It would be more concerning if you didn't felt anything about it.

 

My original hypothesis regarding PMO addiction was that if one has gotten to the point of suffering from ED or PAWS then 100% abstinence is the only remedy that will work. The more I read the testimonies of others, the more I am convinced this is true.

 

Could be. I'm not sure about practicing Karezza and stuff, though. I think the main culprit could be orgasm, after all. Maybe Karezza is producing rather non-addictive substances in the brain, depending on the degree of exercising that. I dunno. All I know for sure is that this is the most absurd thing I ever had to go through. I've always been very aware of a healthy lifestyle. And now I get punished like I drank litres of benzol in the past.

Once I'm through this f... sh..., I will see life in a very different way and maybe I will be able to regard my former addiction as a gift then.

 

Hi all
Is there any hope for someone who started having PIED/PE around the age of 22 but kept pmo'ing until 29,all while being in a relationship and would need head to get an erection and barley lasted few mins. Lost libido around 24-25. And a broken or nonexistent Refractory period. The only reason being couldn't connect the dots and was like a zombie jus going through the addicition without even realising it, as porn being the culprit. Most seem to identify and relate it to porn within a year or two of PIED.
Currently 1 year off porn(mo'ed 6-8times in the first six months not to porn) and 6months no pmo. Off social media(though I was using insta for a while but never used it for fapping ever) but yes I do follow some models but mostly for my hobbies and for memes and stuff but I am off that as well)

Faced all the severe PAWS symptoms and still trucking through. But the worst is insomnia for me. Despite being very health conscious (no alcohol, smoking nor drugs or weed) ate healthy,worked out 5-6times a week during my Pmo days and as well now, which is last 5-6 years. But never figured out what was causing my problem.
I have added more healthy habits apart from exercise and eating heathy. The only place I fall apart is sleep. Always been my Achilles heel for almost a decade, it has a correlation in my increase since my porm use when I was 18-19.
Jus ordered melatonin to reset my circadian rhythm. Hoping to correct that aspect of my life as well.

Do you guys think, there is anything left to salvage from my situation? Sometimes I feel I will be back to normal sexually and spirituallly and sometimes I feel like am the most severe case and it's a lost cause. As I have pied,pe,no libido and refractory period for such a long time and starting the recovery only a year back. As of now, No sign of random erections to the slightest, NO libido but morning wood returned ever since abstinence but not 100%. Firmness and glans being soft with Maybe 70% firmness and would lose it right away.

 

All the questions you have asked have been answered multiple times in this thread and elsewhere. Most of the case here are similar to yours or even worse and they have recovered/recovering/got better. I suggest you go through this thread in detail from the beginning and go through accounts of profile of people who you think are on an advanced stage of recovery or have recovered. It would be difficult to find the recovered ones because most of the people leave by that time. No matter how worse you are, the only option you have is to start the journey with 100% abstinence and keep on it no matter what.

 

Thank you for replying. I have read most of this thread and I keep reading others posts on here and on Reddit. To keep myself motivated.
I started my journey year back and haven't looked at porn throughout the journey. But I mo'd to video chat in the first 5 months but realised what my lizard brain was doing. But the last seven months I never PMO'd. And it's one and done deal for me.
I know my questions have have been asked. But I jus wanted a re-assurance from you guys that it's going to be alright or not, if I was on the right path or not, as I have none to talk about it. Another reason being, I continued with my pied/pe for so many years and now am recovering and I haven't come across many such cases and that was bothering me a lot all of sudden.
Sorry if I posted in the wrong thread. But this is the most active thread. I never wanted to post anything or ask the same questions until I had a glimpse of recovery. But I am jus feeling drained.

 

Dopamine spikes prior to orgasm; the Karezza practise keeps you edging in that sense, I personally would go for hard mode for as long as it takes and stay satisfied with cuddling and mild making out.

 

I'm not really convinced that Edging and Karezza cause the same spikes of dopamine. I only did it once but there was definitely not any kind of urge to get off. On the contrary, I enjoyed it in a totally different way and there was no pressure anywhere afterwards. There was a different mindset active, no expectations.....

Edging's only goal is to prolong extasy and intensify orgasm. And with only that in mind no wonder that dopamine explodes.