100 days

BRO I JUST WANNA SLEEP FOR LIKE A MONTH SO I CANN JUST GET BACK TO DAY 30. I FEEL LIKE I LOST THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND AGAIN I HAVE NOT LET GO OF ALL THE GYM PROGRESS I LOST. IT JUST MAKES ME CRY MAN. MAYBE IM TOO CHILDISH AND GET TOO DEPPRESSED TOO EASY. I DONT KNOW. ALL I KNOW IS I AM JUST A PIECE OF GARBAGE NOT WORTH THIS PROCESS. ITS AN IMPOSSIBLE PROCESS ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

BRO I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE AT THIS POINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE WHERE DO I GO MAN!

 

Thank you for replying man. I just went outside and I was driving around and screaming and going crazy. I could not stop crying. I appreciate your reply man. I am sorry I am just so depressed, I cannot think straight. I just want to kill myself.

 

Dude, my eyes are burning badly cuz of all the crying. I am so sorry man, I just cannot think straight. I just feel like I lost everything, and I have no job and nothing to look forward to. And this chest tear really pisses me off. Bro I was doing amazing until this tear happened man. I really do appreciate you taking the time to read my crazy messages and actually replying to help me out. You have no idea. It means the world. It really calmed me down. I just cry every time when I see people post how they get urges at day 100 or 200+. It just breaks my heart and tears me apart and gives me no hope!!! Like is not the goal that eventually, I want to NOT get insane urges all the time that disrupt every aspect of my life, and I want to NOT crave sitting there in a room alone and watch two other people have sex while playing with myself and thinking messed up thoughts???? Like isn't that the goal. It absolutely makes me lose all hope when you have people demonstrating that a whole 4 months is not enough! Imagine being in my position. Man I got to call the doctor and schedule a follow up appointment for my depression and anxiety medication. I am literally dying on the inside right now.

Again, you have no idea how much I appreciate you replying. It to me right now is the best part of my life.

 

Hey there brother. I can see that's some hard times right there. I can understand the frustration and the feeling of powerlessness that comes with being a young guytrying to work out what is right and wrong, what is good and evil, what to do with this energy and who has the answers.

When I a teenager this shit started for me, around thirteen. I didn't know what it was doing, and looking back it explains a hell of a lot of shit that went down and I didn't even know about it. I terms making sense of the stages that you are going through, I would like to point you in another direction than nofap right now.

here's some links for you to get lost in.....if you did everything on this list I'm about to write out (I'm just gonna list things that I know always work for me, and I'll add more periodically, and if anyone wants to add suggestions go ahead) and I mean you actually do/listen/read/enact them all, and you still feel like killing yourself, I'd be relly surprised at the conconction of reasons you'd comeup with as to why.

1. Read Iron John and take lots of notes when they come to you
2. Watch an hour of Jordan Peterson every day for a month.
3. Go to three boxing gyms, and talk to the head coaches - and see if they'll help and train you.
4. Spend a morning per week on the water, fishing or out swimming.
5. Read The Game
6. Find a wingman, get out on the town, work your stuff, meet some girls
7. Pump Iron, if you can't join a gym - find some cheap second hand stuff on craiglist
8. If you don't have a job or a pursuit, get one just casual or part time
9. Check out Grant Morrison and sigil magic, if you're going to bust nuts, at least do it with some intentions
10. Find a confession booth and let it all come out, make a confession
11. Write one page per day, it doesn't matter if at night or during the day and it doens't matter if it's dark or whatever, just journal it until you have finished writing about everything that you are angry about
12. Think of the kind of girl you really want in your life, and imagine having her as a girlfriend, everyday and think of the cool shit you could do with her
13. Buy a punching bag and hit the fucking thing for 15 minutes a day
14. Pick a place in the world that you would like to visit if you had a backpack and $1000 to spend for two weeks
15. Delete all the negative shit on your harddrive including bad friends and violent music or anything that gets you in a shit mood
16. Reach out to people on couchsurfing in your dream country to visit
17. Log onto airbnb and check out the experiences in the new country for fun ideas
18. Read Blankets by Craig Thompson
19. Find a beach and drive out or catch a train out to it the next time its sunny and lay in the sun for a day and soak up the Sun's energy
20. Head to a hardware store, buy some lumber and build yourself a table, or just a small side desk (lots of videos of how tos online)
21. Put some good music on and clean up your room and take out the trash

Onwards,

4:30am

 

Thank you guys so much. It means the world man. I really am at the lowest point ever right now. I am just so unstable. I really needed this. Again man I cannot thank you enough for taking the time out to reply and try to help despite me being so negative. I am sorry man I cannot help it, I am just the most negative person you will ever come across. My hope is that I can go the whole summer starting from now PMO-Free. I guess it starts here.

 

Hey man, great milestone and I hope you can keep this up well into the future. Just wondering if there were any other things you would use to forget about urges and overcome them besides physical activity and if you have any tips. Thanks

 

I appreciate your reply and thanks for the insight and tips. I'll definitely take this into account.

 

I’m one day until 100 days. I feel better spiritually. There’s no contest.

 

wow..