PIED: How bad is fantasizing for recovery?

well if I am correct, the substance would be porn fantasy, so fantasy/thinking about porn scenes and fetishes are the problem?

 

Hey, it's been almost a year since you first post this, did you solve your problem?

 

I believe so yes, especially if they are anxiety based or some coping behavior. "Normal" fantasy - you see a girl on the street and think, yeah, that's nice, I'd like to x xx -that's normal and if you let it pass and it doesn't happen to often that's fine..
but dwelling and weaving fantasies in your head, that becomes a form of 'self stimulation' and you start to get more and more disconnected from real sex. Everything in your head is just you, not a real person.

 

does that mean I lost all my progress?

 

nope, be patient with yourself. As long as you are mindful and learning, you're making progress.

 

Thanks for the assurance man, plus I looked at some research on YBOP an hour ago, basically every rebooted has compromised at one point or the other. They seemed to only be slowed by a month or two. Of course I mean the people who had normal fantasies and not porn ones. That being said I will certainly try my best to stop myself when my mind wanders, but I at least have no reason to freak myself out anymore.

 

hey you seem to be knowledgeable in this area, I have OCD and have been getting many flashbacks that wont go away, and as time goes on the flashbacks are getting more and more of things I looked at when I first got addicted at 13. I wanna know if that is thwarting my PIED recovery or if it is a sign of my brain pruning images out to burn?

 

The difference between porn and fantasizing is the work the brain does, with porn it doesn't make any effort; if you fantasize you're making work your brain, which is good, anyway for how long have you been dealing with PIED?

 

Other guys already proved my point, but it doesnt hurt to add my thoughts to it. When you are starved of PMO, and when you have been rewiring for some time, your dopamine will be more receptive. Your brain is still however recovering from responding to hyper stimuli. Fantasizing about real girls is just a much less harmful way of still getting a dopamine rush. So as it would seem that it is a natural and healthy thing to do, as it is with real girls, it is actually hurting your recovery. Not as much as you might think, but it is not helping. You are still being a slave to having dopamine hits. Now it is just of a smaller dose

 

Flashbacks are not fantasies. I have had PIED since late October but my current streak has been held since late november, in a couple of weeks I'll be at a 6 months streak.

 

I have been experiencing fantasies throughout the day for 60 days, I mostly lay on my bed and wander with having sex with numerous girls and then I get rushed and satisfied feeling every emotion then I look at my 60 days and wonder why my reboot is taking longer and Im always irritated and angry all the time.

Can somebody please explain this?

 

I think that fantasy is the addiction trying to stay alive. You are not watching porn so the addictive demon says "OK I'll make some porn up then.... muaaa haaa haaa!¨

The demon can be really clever (It has obviously read some Freud too) because it sometimes disguises porn as something not pornified. So I might think about a girl.... she's fully clothed, not thinking about touching her,... but... I am noticing the parts that turn me on the most... I think the "fwoooooaaaarrrr!" is booming from me but the demon just turns the volume down so I wont notice it. It's sneaking in images to turn me on and focus upon. Man, I studied influence and subliminal advertising and I think the demon has a doctorate in it.

The only solution, as far as I'm concerned, is to eliminate all such fantasy. When I catch myself in the act of thinking about a girl innocently (Ha!), I just talk to myself "This is the demon trying to reel you in again".

A lot of people post with "Does this (or that) count as a relapse?" and my answer if... well, if you have to ask then yes, it probably is.

We rebooters need to be far more vigilant that do the normies. We are taking our recovery seriously are we not? After all, we have seen the abyss.

 

Yo guys I’m new to nofap, I think I have this problem though. I have problems getting an erection, but one time when a girl told me she just wanted to kiss because she was on her period I was able to get an erection.

However in seperate experiences I’ve been unable to get hard from head or kissing at all, just because my fantasies from fapping have been with my eyes open looking at pictures, where I can see the girls lips and imagining kissing them or getting head, but in reality when you get head or kiss you can’t see the girls lips (because your eyes are closed or because shes faced down respectively).

So I have two issues: would you guys say this a NoFap problem or something I just need to get used to? Or is it just a confidence problem?

 

sounds like the stimulation is from taboo-breaking/escalation...
I think reducing anxiety, working on self confidence can help with anything.
With intimacy, getting out of your head and into the moment- I would look into ways of doing that....
also not fret it don't get 'worried' that paradoxically makes it worse

 

thanks for your advice bro - what do you mean by taboo breaking?

 

taboo breaking often is tied into negative sexual arousal - taboos- having an affair is the 'classic' but often it escalates with Porn viewing - incest, etc. pretty much breaking any social moor even ones you might value - don't know exactly why the brain sexualizes these

The thing is for example, people who have affairs are not happy once they no longer have the 'thrill' of an affair - they divorces their spouses and get married - soon find they are not happy.

 

ah right thanks, i don’t think i have this issue though, like the example I gave when the girl was on her period i don’t think I was more attracted to having s*x then, more that there wasn’t any pressure to perform and I could just enjoy the foreplay. As for the masturbation habits, it’s me having a confused idea of what sex is meant to be like through PMO over instagram

 

This is a useful and interesting thread, I have to say that I have fantasised about various girls from my past even when on my streaks, looks like I'll need to cut that out too if I want to get my erections back (which by the Gods I do).

 

Any fantasy created in your mind has an origin. Whether from porn/events/movies etc.. It's not you. or the real you. get rid of it.