Maybe suicide is the best choice.

I referred to the "why deny" to myself, not you

 

I'm sorry about what you're going through. I have to point out that "all of this because of pmo" is one of the most inaccurate things people say on this website and in this community. If I said i want to end my life because i can't stop using porn, and there is no other reason, would you say that's rational or believable? I have no doubt pmo has caused you issues but keep in mind that heavy porn use is often the symptom of other issues, not the cause of other issues. I hope you can eventually get to the point where you go months without pmo so you can see its one factor, not a cure all. You literally want to end your entire life, your entire existence at 15. This is bigger than an addiction.

 

No, suicide is not the best choice, neither should it be a choice. You're going to miss out on so many great opportunities in life and the feeling of being alive. I'm glad to hear that you've fixed your sleeping habits, now attempt to fix everything else.

Let's stop blaming your PMO addiction or using it as an excuse for suicide. I'm going to be harsh here and say that, that excuse is really fucking stupid. I understand that this addiction has ruined your academic studies and family relationship but it shouldn't end there, for you to commit suicide and leave everything undone.

Educate yourself more about why PMO is bad. Since you keep relapsing, it goes to show that you always have a reason to relapse. Is it because you want to feel pleasure instead of being stressed? If the answer is yes, find other ways to destress. Meditating, exercising, talking to friends and family or listening to your favourite soundtracks are all good ways to replace PMO.

Build a stronger argument against PMO than for PMO, that's the way to stop masturbating and watching porn.

Or alternatively, ask yourself this question:

Do you gain anything out of PMO? From your post, it seems all you gain is depression and suicidal thoughts. Maybe add that to your argument against PMO. You're not feeling pleasure afterwards, are you?

Don't expect yourself to suddenly stop masturbating after reading this post and taking into consideration everything I said. A long addiction can take months or years to eventually stop. As a starting point, aim to only masturbate three times a week, then 2 times, then one time etc etc. Slowly but surely you can do it and don't beat yourself up when you relapse. Addiction doesn't go away over night.

Suicide is not the answer and will never be.

If you have any more questions, let me know.

 

Hey brother, I'm going to give you three pieces of advice.

1) This problem requires face-to-face counselling so find the help you need. Most people on here are way out of their league in terms of this issue, and besides which, the medium itself is extremely limiting.

Having said the above...

2) Think about how suicide impacts people you love. It is absolutely devastating beyond anything you can imagine. Watch videos of the family members of people who kill themselves. See the hurt, feel the hurt.

3) "You can always commit suicide tomorrow." Jordan Peterson. What's the rush? Put it off. Then put it off some more.

Now, I don't know you but I sense your potential is enormous. The greater the darkness, the greater the potential for light. Marcus Aurelius once said "What stands in the way becomes the way." So the issue you're having with PMO, or anything else for that matter, are the very seeds of your greater becoming, if you can just endure the journey!

Keep fighting the good fight my man!

 

Not a good option.

 

ye i second this. OP is way ahead of the game. Its extremely tuff at 15

 

Dude, your story hit so close to home, I've been trying to quit porn for 3 years now, ever since I was 16, I'm 19 now. I almost cried. Don't you ever fucking give up, do you HEAR me! You can fucking do it!

 

Please watch this video, I think you'll be able to relate.

 

Mate, many people have a PMO addiction much worse than you. Repeated suicidal ideation could be clinical depression and warrants treatment. CBT with a psychologist might help or you can always see a psychiatrist for medications. Anyhow I wish you well.

 

Hey, buddy, I'm sorry to read that you are going through all of this. You are 15 years old with your whole life ahead of you. But I remember what 15 is like; so angry at so many things, and so sensitive to the things going on around you. I don't know what to tell you about the things you are dealing with. I wish I knew how to solve your problems. But I don't. The only thing I can tell you is to work on controlling your attitude toward life. And I'm not saying to start thinking that life isn't that bad, it is, in some ways. But it isn't in others. You can only control your attitude. And maybe the attitude you need right now is one of endurance, and knowledge that if you stay strong you will make it through the hard times, and you will come out the other end. I, and many of us, have felt hopeless, or trapped, not feeling like any option we have is a good one. But life is a series of experiences, not a series of "best-case scenarios". Your life may not always be what you want it to be, but you have to believe that you're able to see it through until it turns around for you, or you make it turn around. Rediscover yourself, and all the cool things about you. Strength to you, my friend.

 

I'm glad to be of what help I can. Keep reading others' posts, and keep posting yourself. We're all here to help each other. Take care, bud.

 

Do me a favor, please do what I was unable to do. I wasted all of my high school years watching porn. Biggest mistake of my life.