The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Checking in for the first 12 hours. I have several triggers, I need to avoid them at all costs. What has helped you to avoid them?

 

Day 12


Ever seen a cactus in middle-earth?

 

Day 6 - Urak-Hai @RiseToGreatness

I had several relapse dreams and woke up really turned on and craving PMO. Luckily I got up, ate breakfast, and texted with my accountability partners (in this case, it was to help one of them after a relapse, but it was a reminder of my goals). I had a really good therapy appointment as I worked through some grief that I was feeling that my Grandpa was not here to see my graduate from university. (He died 13 years ago last month). It helped make me see that life is short and we need to tell those we care about that we love them. So I told one of my best friends that I loved her and her husband and that they were family to me. I intend to tell my other close friends that I love them too, and eventually I think I will tell the my other best friend Lexie that I love her too, that I might be in love with her. She said herself that we are already basically dating, just no physical intimacy and no title as of yet. But she is the one I can see spending my life with, and after this weekend, I can't help but think that she may feel the same if not with a little fear on her part. I am excited for a new future.

Best,
Mathman1994

 

Day 42 trod on

 

When I stopped smoking, I switched to black/green tea to still get a kick of caffeine preferably with no sugars, but to each it's own.
Another great thing that will pump the body into Nitro Mode is Ginger+Honey+Water mix. (Though, thos requires personalised dosing as some might not withstand the strength of the mixture so you can experiment with it.

 

Unfollowed all insta "drainers". If you are not using it productively, I recommend uninstalling it all together. Also acknowledged the rest of the apps that can produce unwanted triggers. Changed my environment to be mostly comprised of the things that interest me... It's not always making me productive, but at least I stay in my zone...I also deleted tinder, but my account was broken to begin with, but it does eliminate the distraction.

 

Day 31! I've finally started working out again...for some reason I was avoiding it. Sure I did some daily push ups, but nothing helps the body more than sore muscles.
I'm still in between things as I am trying to focus on renting a small place and putting together all the paperwork that I do not understand.
"The man who moves a mountain, begins by carrying away small stones"
~Confucius

 

Checking in Friends
No P Day 183
No M Day 12
No O Day 12

• I commit to stay off devices after work and turn to books, boardgames (just bought a solo boardgame for this purpose), exercise, visiting people, etc... instead - summer is coming so I intend to embrace it (the only exceptions to this are if I am watching a sports match, which will be about once a fortnight, checking in here, buying something necessary, or doing Freedom Fight)

Started setting up a solo boardgame tonight ( which has taken me 1.5 hours and I'm still not finished) - solo boardgames will be a tv/ film/ stream substitute for the coming months, I hope

• I am renewing my commitment to stop fishing and bounce my thoughts words eyes and actions any time they bring me close to triggers

Didn't go out today

• I commit and have decided to finish forever with narcissistic pride, which is the mother of lust. This will include being accountable for when I am - mindless - unkind - foolish - boasting - stealing the limelight - vain - arrogant - hypocritical - delinquent - impatient - capricious - habitual etc...

Not always aware today; a bit unkind but full repentance after; not good eating; not boasting; no group chat today; hypocritical today in that I allowed myself to get accelerated; patient enough; did my duty; no urges today as still flatlining; very grateful to have shelter and not be living in a war torn country like is happening in the Middle East

• I commit to looking after myself and dominating procrastination, and being held accountable for this here too

Sticking to system but sluggish enough when the pressure is off, need to increase my throughput in quiet times

Cold Shower - Yes

Exercise - Yes

Reflections - yes and it pays huge dividends, like walking onto another planet

Procrastination - No but sluggish in work

Vanity - No

Excuses - None today - keeping my head down - staying normal

Mindful Breathing - Yes!

Sleep Pattern - bed early now - going for it

Mindful Eating - Not today unfortunately - that is two days in a row

Personal values - I have my own mind and we all have been gifted Free Will to choose. But if the conscience is numbed, then so too is my will. Therefore I commit to connecting to my conscience, awakening my will, and making the choices that benefit me and others most.

 

Went to bed late and it reflected on the quality of meditation in the morning,had a good 9 miles run,taken cold shower right after and watched boulder world cup 2021 finals with mixed feelings when it came to women finals I had a kind of thought -is it fishing? ..or can I see them without consciously evaluating their sex related parts and on the other hand pound for pound feats of strength they were showing were just incredible and the problems they solved were not easier than the men's were which commanded some respect ...it looks like when you respect somebody it's easier to have a blind eye to their sexual part

 

Brothers! Tough day!

*NSFW ALLERT*

Today I woke up feeling the urges at its strongest. Got up from the bed and went straight to the bathroom to wash my face with cold water, brush my teeth and get dressed, but my father was in there. Then I went back to my bedroom and sitted on my bed waiting for him, but my urges where like screaming megaphones in my ears and I started to flirt with it. Little by little I started to roll down the hill, letting myself turn on, getting hard, touching, grabing and making some movements. Then I suddenly realized what I was doing and was taken by an enourmous willpower and stopped at the brink of starting to masturbate. I was about to relapse and it was kinda scary the way things almost got there that quickly.

I didn't masturbate or made those movements with the intent to get pleasure - they were more like the ones of gear shifting, like atari joysticks -, so I won't count it as a relapse (I want to make it clear that I was nothing like fapping for real), but I was just about to do it, in the state of mind that seems that you're hypnotized. I'm a christian and I know that the Holy Ghost dwels in me, and I'm sure it was his voice making me aware of what was going on.

Besides that I had a normal day, studied a lot and had the pleasure of understanding some hard stuff in chemistry. Bros, I love it when I obtain knew knowledge. For the nexts days I'm going to focus on getting better sleep quality, since I have been going to bed late and it doesn't helps with mantaining myself mindful and willpowered. I'll also get back to meditating.

About the no training thing, I decided that I'll lead it until my flatline starts, then I think I'll be in sailing better waters and I'll be more prepared to resist the following urges.

What do you guys suggest to develop mindfulness when the urges arrives, especially in the morning, when our minds are not completely awaken and our blood is flooded with testosterone?

PS.: best regards to @eagle rising , your journey's progress is a tremendous exemple for us, it shows us that the reboot and the recovery are not a myth, but an achieveble reality. Thanks for your sharings, brother. May the road be still and your journey delightful!

 

Yes I replaced the caffeine with milk cooked (a combination of milk and herb) and that gives me energies in the mornings.

 

Day 1,

The message for me today is "dont look back."

I have been on a slump since finals and have even paid for P.

Cancelled my subscription today and intending not to turn back.

Thank you for the support Fellowship!

 

Day 0. Sorry

 

Ate healthy, fasted and exercised today. Not only am I doing a favour for future me. I can’t believe how good I feel today. I am doing favours for present me.

 

Just worked out again, and now another cold shower.
Made it to Uruk-hai! Thanks @RiseToGreatness!

 

I'm in. Day 3 and ready to finally end this for good.

 

I'm right there with ya bud, lets make it to the Shire.

 

305 days

 

Day 95 no PMO

 

Day 1.