The Lord of the Rings Challenge

318 days dwarf king
393 days no PMO, semen retention

 

Checking in. Be well everyone!

 

Day 20
Entering Bree

 

Pretty good day yesterday, except I was kept up late talking to a friend. I still got 8 hours of sleep, but that meant getting up a little later than I'd like (8:00 instead of 6:30).

So far I've prayed and cold showered today. I worked out yesterday. I need to meditate yet today and get a little more work done.

Looking forward to a weekend of friends and family, a little work, and no PMO. I'm going to try to squeeze it out of my life with a combination of work, prayer, and positive social relationships.

 

Thank you man, cross your fingers for me!

 

Day 10

Reached double figures. It was a hard day with lots of temptation. It felt at times like the urges were coursing through my veins. But, I made the right choices and did not give in. Looking forward to a good weekend with the family.

Stay strong!

 

Day 4 no P, P-subs, day 1 no MO

No urges today, or even yesterday really. I do think think that for me, sometimes fap as @Gallade_Templar says, is not helpful. I don't particularly feel shame for doing it in certain scenarios, but it does increase the urge to PMO, and that is unhelpful. If I can make it to 10 days with out PMOing or MOing, I think I will be in the clear from the chaser effect, though I will still have to stay vigilant as always of mediating triggers.

I am trying to get up at 8:30AM right now, as it is too difficult to get up at 5AM in the mornings. With that said, 5AM is the ultimate goal and if I can make the next 3-4 days getting up at 8:30AM, I will move the clock back half an hour and every 4-7 days, move the time back half an hour until I am getting up at 5AM every morning. That also means getting to be by 9-9:30PM every night when I do get up at 5AM. My earliest class is at 9:30AM this coming fall, but I do not know when I will be teaching, so I might have an 8:50AM class, which means rising at 5AM would give me an extra three hours in the morning to do some good in my day before I would need to head to work.

Anyway, thanks for your support and suggestions. I know that if I were to decide to ease out of MO slowly, I would need to take a place from the challenge, but the goal is to go cold turkey and have fewer and fewer slip-ups as time goes on. That does not mean that I will intentionally seek out MOing, but it does mean, I will be kind to myself as I get clean. I probably will not be able to post this weekend as I will be out of town and away from my computer, but I will definitely be on here Monday to let everyone know how I am doing and ideally I will be 7 days clean from porn and 4 days clean from MO.

Best,
Mathman1994

 

Had some rough days, still covid. Yesterday I failed again. Today first day feeling good so gonna see friends tomorrow and play football. Finaly im out quarantaine, so feeling motivativated and gonna be busy. Being in bed for weeks isnt good when doing nofap
Things to do:
- working out
- less junkfood more healthy food
- going to work/school
- seeing friends socialize
- meditate
- no mobile phone in bed
- cold showers

 

another day- and another meditation,studies,quite a lot of walking, watched few old movies, talked to neighbors and overall felt hopeful throughout the day.

 

Day 103

 

313 days

 

Day 5. Believe in youself and do always your best

 

Day 61 check-in (Attempt 4) -
Lothlórien, Kingdom of the Silvan Elves.

 

Day 3 complete!

Today was great. It doesn't feel as though I did anything differently, but I was very productive and accomplished quite a few things, even more than the goals I had set for myself at the beginning of the day. I'm going to keep it up!

 

Resetting the counter as I have relapsed!
36 days has been a good run.
I'm still trying to find out why is the tracker not updating.
I will do a quick review of my Streaks and maybe I'll learn something new.
1st streak ended after 86 days as I was still new to this and the prospect of loneliness was settling by the imminent lockdown and at the same time having insta naked girls on my follow feed. That was my first encounter with fishing while still being under the tracer effect from my previous relationship.
I've learned a lot from that and unfollowed all the girls and switching to a new insta account where I followed only the things that interest me (and girls posing was not one of those interests) and it helped a lot into changing the things I expose my self to and the thigs I consume on a daily basis.
The second strea was short... maybe 7-8 days as I was struck by corona and was about to do the test which I wanted to come out negative...and since all the symptoms lasted one night, I wanted to make sure that I would eliminate everything that can be eliminated that would provide a hint of positivity in the test (long story short...it didn't help as I was still positive afterwards).
3rd streak lasted 125 days and it eventually ended due to reaching a point where most of my actions or pain (kidney stones) where not getting any feedback, as isolation was taking a hold of me.
During this streak I have started noticing, but didn't really acknowledged how pain was weakening my mind-body connection making me feel more and more isolated.
This streak was then followed by on and off days where nihilism and absurdism took control as I had little to no control on any of the desired results.
Last streak of 38 days was pretty good, but this was the time when pain got me again. And the longing for some comfort was strong.
The alcohol usage and painkillers where also a great influence on me letting my guard down while still grinding to find my place in this still new country where I barely made any friends and there are still a lot of appointments that make me running all over the place and fracturing me to not focus on one single thing, which is...at the end of the day...the most important thing I should do.
Focus on one thing at a time.
Overall I have abstained at least 256 of 301 days until today and managed to get some money, a full time job, to read 2 full books, learn about the structure of the universe, get a more attractive personality, made some awesome friends during a 3 day span(in Spain, not France), learned to see the world to a new lense, got more confident and less anxious, got inspired, got to experience true loneliness that few have the opportunity to go through and learned about new possibilities about what opportunities exist for the future.
I've learned that pain is a sensation that has the possibility of desynchronize your mind, same as the sensation of cold showers has the benefit of synchronizing it.
That daily meditation gets you closer you your own self and affirmations remind your mind who you are and not doing these will leave you prey to uncertainty and confusion, which will take you on the path of relapse.
Having learnt all these as I am writing these lines, I have only one thing to say:
Hello everyone! I am Prophet Moonstruck, and this is day 1 Of NoFap!

 

...I know the feeling of that relief and it's no good. It sounds like a relief from commitment to keep yourself in light and on straight and narrow, which unfortunately 99.99 % of the time throws us into darkness of self-harm and indulgence in all the dark stuff it has kept us from. The thing that you relapsed only shows that you have set your life in the way that would earlier or later lead to relapse. We all have to restructure ant reorganize our life and activities in order to keep going strong and you should do the same, cos everyone can do this challenge if we but put our will to set our day to day life, thinking and activities in a relapseproof way.
I urge you to reconsider and start with the end in mind.

 

Would you have learnt all these without participation in this challenge ?

 

Did you set your goals in writing?