Newbie in the newcomers threads

Hey everyone!

I'm Pillarman, a 21yo virgin (with that name? I'd never guess!) in search of a change! I've been watching porn since I was around 13yo and, putting aside the excitement of doing it, it felt natural and healthy.

Unfortunately for me, I soon fell down in the spiral of addiction that many of you described on this website. The search of new thrills to get me excited was constant, I've been through many kinks, each more depreved than the last. Till I reached now, the point in which I finally plant my foot firmly to the ground and say "this isn't who I want to be."
Because, I'm sorry if I'm stating the obvious, but we are a bunch of habits and your habits affect who you are.

So all I want to do now is work hard to reach that goal I thought it was impossible to conquer for so long.
I mostly never got into forums.. heck! I mostly never commented on any social medias or YouTube either, I've always been introverted towards the many eyes of the internet, but I think this is my best shot of making it. After this I'll probably start a journal and read attentively the reboot program to make haste and come up with a plan, all I know is that I want to stop watching this crap and, finally, actively change myself. If I get help or judged along the way for once so be it, I'll put my pride aside, but I hope I can inspire someone through my journey. Thank you for your time.

 

I appreciate your kind words, you already proved yourself the sense of community we have here.
And I agree, I'm aware that just doing it won't actually solve much, it's the strive to better yourself and hopefully learning something right along the way! I hope to reach a point in time when I look back at this chapter of my life and barely recognize myself.

P.S: Oneshot is a great game!