A Message to INTJs Struggling With PMO Addiction

Hello fellow INTJs, and anyone else reading this. As you may have guessed, I am an INTJ. I decided to write this because I want to help my fellow architects find their way out of this abdominal addiction as I did. I have laid a roadmap below that I followed to free myself. We often like to suffer in silence without seeking help or advice from others. I know I am this way with everything. The good news is you hold advantages over other MBTI types trying to break the addiction. As an INTJ, you bear strengths with you that will allow you to be free from your addictions. As long as you utilize them correctly, you can overcome this addiction, I promise.





I would first like to give a little background about myself. I am a 21-year-old college student seeking a degree in the social sciences field. I was addicted to PMO for 8 years. As I have been freeing myself from this addiction it has opened my eyes to how much it has truly affected my life in countless ways. At the end of this post, I will explain briefly how my life has changed. First, let us talk about your strengths and how to utilize them in breaking this addiction.





1) Nobody Knows How To Plan Like An INTJ

Before you jump into the process, make your plan! This is crucial. I plan everything in my life with meticulous detail, and I approached this the same way. Set a course at the beginning and stay the course. You have done this so well in life so far, so do not change a thing. Identify your triggers and mitigate them. Visualize yourself at the end, just like accomplishing any other achievement you want in life you must visualize yourself at the end. Create daily to-do lists to keep yourself busy. If you do not keep yourself busy with things that bring you joy, your brain, ego, and body will do that for you. That will lead to PMO. Have a routine. As an INTJ, I am sure you already have a daily routine that you stick to. Go over your routine. Fill in the gaps, leaving no time for boredom. Start a new book, start journaling, start a new project. The bottom line is, keep your mind occupied by creating plans ahead and sticking to them.





2) RESEARCH

Just like with planning, nobody knows how to research like an INTJ. Before you start this journey, become an expert on the subject. Weaponize your curiosity. I took great satisfaction in this part of the process. Study what PMO does to the brain, how it affects the dopamine receptors and other chemicals in the brain, how it affects our subconscious, how it affects our drive, thoughts, feelings, perceptions, and behaviors. You may not realize this yet, but porn addiction has tentacles in every single part of your life. I was able to realize this along the journey. I was completely appalled and disgusted I could not see how it affected my life before quitting. Approach it like an exam, study, and research the subject as furiously as you can to get an A. The A you get will be completing 90 days.





3) Achievement Is Our Motivator

For many INTJs, one of our greatest motivators is achievement. Completing this 90-day challenge was one of the greatest achievements of my life simply because of the transformation I have made. Think of how you will feel at the end of this. Allow the thought of achievement to motivate you. Just like receiving your degree, getting your dream job, or learning that language, this is an achievement so treat it as one. You are ambitious and goal-oriented. Use this to your advantage.



4) Rational

As an INTJ, we are extremely rational. With that said, wake up and realize what you are doing is not rational! Addictions are not rational. Use your acute logic and come up with inventive solutions to the problem like you do with everything else. When you have urges, realize what you are thinking of doing is not rational.



Deploy your strengths throughout this process to make it easier on yourself. If you properly utilize your strengths to overcome this problem, it will be a problem no longer.



How my life has changed

Before I quit PMO, I was EXTREMELY introverted, had social anxiety, approach anxiety, depression at times, low drive, numbness to emotions, no joy in life, no love for myself, and misguided direction to name just a few. I have a sneaky suspicion many of you struggle with the same things. I am here to tell you my extreme introversion has lifted. I am still a strong introvert at heart, but I actually enjoy going out and socializing now! My anxiety has completely left me, along with my depression. I have unlocked the drive I always knew was within me. I feel emotions now. For the longest time, I felt like I was a zombie or a robot because emotions did not affect me. I always blamed it on the fact that it is just because I am an INTJ. That was wrong. You should be feeling emotions. I now even enjoy feeling sad sometimes because it is so much better than feeling nothing at all. I have joy for the littlest of things now. One small stupid thing can now put the biggest smile on my face. Love for myself was lacking significantly because I always felt I was underachieving. Being an INTJ, we are extremely crucial of ourselves. That played a role in my anxiety and depression. I love myself more than ever before now. Lastly, the direction I was going was genuinely the direction in life I thought I wanted to go. I thought it would bring me purpose and fulfillment. I could not have been further off. Quitting PMO opened my eyes to what having purpose and meaning in life truly is. I had never experienced this before. It is incredible.





A Warning

Do not be overconfident. We sometimes struggle with this. You will self-sabotage yourself by thinking you are invincible. You will relapse. Be humble and be smart. If you do happen to relapse, create a new plan, and get back on track. Do not beat yourself up because you will only push yourself further into darkness. Set a course and stay the course.





This journey is long and difficult. It is also beautiful and giving, so be patient and be kind to yourself along the way.





For my psychology fans out there, here are three quotes to help you through this process.





The dying of one attitude or need may be the other side of birth of something new (Which is a law of growth in nature not at all limited to human beings). One can choose to kill a neurotic strategy, a dependency, a clinging, and then find that he can choose to live as a freer self… A “dying” of part of oneself is often followed by a heightened awareness of self, a heightened sense of possibility. – Rollo May





A painful sacrifice can be risked with a mighty effort of the will. If successful… the sacrificer bears blessed fruit, and the sacrificer leaps at one bound into the state of being practically cured. – Carl Jung





You must be ready to burn yourself in your own flame; how could you rise anew if you have not first become ashes. – Nietzsche



Have any specific questions or want to chat, feel free to message me.



Best Wishes,

Perseverance

 

I'm glad you like the thread! As reading is one of my hardcore habits I could give you a list that is 10 pages long however, I will save you some time and give you the ones that I think could be a game-changer for many. All of the books you have listed are excellent, especially "Your Brain On Porn". The books I will give you are not directly related to PMO addiction but are related to mental health, addiction, and evolutionary psychology. I think it is important to become competent in these subjects to really grasp what is going on in our own heads and why we are depressed, anxious, and addicted.
1) Tribe by Sebastian Junger
2) Lost Connections by Johann Hari
3) The Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene
4) The Six Pillars of Self Esteem by Nathaniel Branden
These should be a good start for anyone wanting to learn more about what is going on in their own heads and western society today.

 

I'm glad you found this post helpful! I think it's important not to place too much value on personality types too however, in certain circumstances understanding yourself and how you operate can be instrumental.

 

I figured many INTJs would be able to relate, unfortunately. I'm delighted this was able to bring you some comfort. The other side of this addiction is ineffable. Play to your strengths and you will be just fine. I wish you all the best.

 

Keep going! More benefits to come!

 

Knowing the strengths and weaknesses of your personality can be a superpower if you put that knowledge to use.

 

Then this thread clearly doesn't apply to you.

 

I had no idea this was a public forum. It is possible to conduct your own research if you're interested is it not?