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I never have urges, this is how you fight and erase urges forever

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by modern milarepa, Jun 12, 2021.

  1. modern milarepa

    modern milarepa Fapstronaut

    Aléxandros and PermRB like this.
  2. modern milarepa

    modern milarepa Fapstronaut

    It is so good sometimes I can simply answer by redirecting to my threads. This is one of the reasons I write them.
     
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  3. modern milarepa

    modern milarepa Fapstronaut

    I haven't met one real spiritual girl neither my father and we have been around in many spiritual groups. If a girl is into spirituality it tends to be more like trying to get material benefits from it like praying to get blessings.

    In choosing a girl is more about how she is as a person rather than if they practice a religion. Some are even quite prideful because they think are "spiritual" they use religion to make their ego's bigger. Not all but a lot do it.
     
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  4. Thanks for the insights. A rough road ahead it is.
     
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  5. modern milarepa

    modern milarepa Fapstronaut

    You are welcome. Spirituality is the most important thing and more hard than girls but careful with spirituality or being religiously blind specially if you combine it with girls it can give a severe case of nice guy syndrome. Thinking all beings are pure in nature well they are in the inside but it's how they behave as egos our concern.
     
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  6. TheFlash123

    TheFlash123 Fapstronaut

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    Well said. You explained in a very simple manner. The extra energy needs to be used somewhere like physical exercise, or yoga, that's the only way to cure urges.
     
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  7. Aléxandros

    Aléxandros Fapstronaut

    sure, physical activities and cold showers are the keys, biologically talking.
    but as @modern milarepa often does, even some skills on how to redirect your sexual energy can help.

    I still can't do it, he knows how to explain it to you.
     
  8. I think this is where a lot of the lust I am feeling comes from. Simply looking at a woman with shorts can fuel this process. Wet dreams must be another manifestation of this. It just feels like this is the autopilot setting more my brain now.. If we stay relaxed and/or exercise more frequently does the prostate congestion go away for good?
     
  9. modern milarepa

    modern milarepa Fapstronaut

    it is the same thing I just said: being aware and relaxed. Sports dont help that much, it is your mind we are talking. the key is to not need anyting external or special relaxation techniques. these two have to become part of who you are.

    you need to become a relaxed and aware person all the time that way there is not prostate congestion
     
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2021
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  10. Aléxandros

    Aléxandros Fapstronaut

    NoFap makes you a calm and chilled person in the long run.
    You start to control your emotions and how you react to things.
    So, consequently, less and fewer urges as long as the adventure goes.

    But this is the experience of a fapstronaut that goes to the gym regularly, does cold showers, eats healthy and doesn't consume too much screen time or any video games.
    My mind is pretty calm right now.
     
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  11. radhouane

    radhouane Fapstronaut

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    true words thanks ♥️
     
  12. PrioritySystem

    PrioritySystem Fapstronaut

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    This is such a great post.

    I am currently on a 3 weeks no PMO and no sex streak. So it’s still too early to draw serious conclusions but here goes anyway. Been using this ‘relaxation method’, as you called it in another thread, as most important mindset these days.

    I’ve not had any urges grow on me, I’ve had small ones but was easily able to overcome them by simply relaxing my body. By relaxing the body, automatically I also become in the present moment.

    ————————————————

    In the past, I’ve responded differently to feeling sexual energy accumulate in my body. I would either:
    -get very excited
    -get horny and think about flirting with girls or fapping
    -try to maintain the energetic and euphoric feeling
    -look ahead in excitement about my goals and plans for the future
    -feel restless and feel like I’m somehow ‘wasting my young years’
    -start to feel really good about myself, essentially inflating my ego
    -try very hard and in a very desperate way to suppress sexual feelings and forbid myself to look at girls in public

    But now it’s just relaxing the body.

    In the past, I’ve also tried to combat urges mentally. Trying to divert thoughts, convincing myself that I should retain. But now, I approach it more as a physical challenge than a mental one. And I think it’s working.

    @modern milarepa can’t thank you enough for sharing thoughts here and providing guidance for people like me who have to figure it out all by themselves.
     
  13. PrioritySystem

    PrioritySystem Fapstronaut

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    Report about me practicing this method:
    On day 32 without PMO and without sex.

    Saw a really hot young girl today on the street. My body responded by contracting muscles, increased heart rate, warmth and tingling in stomach, erection. I paid attention to what was happening in my body and relaxed by relaxing tension from shoulders and breathing into belly. No fantasies or thoughts about it whatsoever. Then she walked away. I enjoyed that whole situation from beginning to end. I wanted to say something to her but she already walked away before I could reach her (she was like 30 meters away from me).

    It’s about an hour later now. I don’t feel tense, don’t feel any compelling cravings for arousal or release. I’m not dwelling on the earlier felt arousal either. When I think back about that situation now, I don’t feel horny about it.

    Also I’ve been relaxing myself on random moments, for example when tying my shoes or sitting on the toilet. It’s making me a much more relaxed person and more aware of my body at any given time.

    Feels like a very healthy and natural approach, not just to sexuality but to life in general.
     
  14. modern milarepa

    modern milarepa Fapstronaut

    It sounds you are doing good, you recognize the

    It sounds you are doing good, you recognize the reactions in your body which are fight or flight response and activation of your autonomic body an almost uncontrollable like most autonomic responses are.

    In those cases you can act as if you were having sex and trying to delay ejaculation
    In those cases you can act as if you were having sex and trying to delay ejaculation

    Mind controls breath, breath controls blood, blood controls semen
    When having sex if you are just starting to control ejaculation try to keep the mind calm don't focus so much on how beautiful or hot the girl in front of you is, don't think about reaching orgasm, turn the lights off or not much light so you don't get over stimulated by the girls body. Instead focus your mind on your breathing, try breathing slow it'll keep you relax and will slow your heartbeats if your heartbeats are slow you won't ejaculate fast heartbeats are require for one to ejaculate also to tense your muscles and pelvic muscles, so if you are relaxed you won't become tense.

    Even do this not an ejaculation moment it will calm your sexual lust on the spot.

    This is when it starts to get difficult the first month is easy now due to spermatogenesis and the build up of semen the body wants to release it and impregnate women.

    Spermatogenesis last 75 days after that usually sperm dies and it's reabsorbed if it wasn't ejaculated then semen starts to build up again little by little and you can take a break.

    I think this is why 90 days is a good reboot number because if you can stand the biological effects of one spermatogesis cycle and the start of a ew one, you have gained a good self control of your sexual urges.

    So in one way you are fighting biology and the other your mental accumulation of urges.

    For example that autonomic response in terms of semen retention is a big red flag you are getting overly excited by nothing but is normal given for past as a porn addict.

    Usually I get an erection only if I kiss a girl I like a lot, she is close to me or when having sex. Usually I don't get tense, nervous or any autonomic response out of the context I mentioned no matter the girl or what it see.

    But before it happened to me. Be aware increase awareness and avoid triggers. You can not play so much with triggers right now.

    Ill6say looking at thdt girl was completely unnecessary if you were not going to hit on her there was no need to fixate your gaze and mind so much you got an erection.

    Even me I try to avoid looking so much at hot Girls even if it doesn't disturb me I even void looking at their bodies perhaps only when I first meet a girl or if I'm planning to hit on a girl only to see if they are hot and the after thdt completely forget about their bodies I don't look at them anymore perhaps some moments during sex.
     
    jcl1990, Huskerjim and PrioritySystem like this.

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