The Lord of the Rings Challenge

We are with you buddy , let's go!

 

Checking in --->
Day 13

 

Day 25 trod on
25 days – You spend the night at the old Watchtower of Amon Sûl. PMO forces are lurking in the area.

 

Hey everyone!
Great concept and idea. I’m checking in on day 0 after relapse by M. Looking forward to join the fellowship after 2 weeks.

 

Day 3

 

Thanks! I am realizing that NoFap feels so much better emotionally, mentally, and physically than PMO. In less than 3 hours, I will have not looked at porn in exactly a month, and in just 4 days and 3 hours, will be an elf and in 6 days and 3 hours, I will beat my previous hard mode streak, and that feels amazing. I do notice some urges from time to time, and I keep waking up in the morning thinking that I had MO'd the previous night only to realize that it was a dream and that I am still 25 days almost 26 days Hard Mode. I have been in a bit of a brain fog, but that has not brought too many urges, just a lack of motivation, but my current goals are to write for an hour or two every day, and to study for my algebra proficiency exam in august with the intention of passing it before I even start my Master's program. Life feels kind of gray right now and I am struggling with the fact that I do not want to continue with the ambiguity in my relationship with this woman I have been seeing. We cuddle and hold hands, but she does not want to declare it a relationship, and I do not want to keep engaging in that level of physical contact unless we are declared as I am moving to a new city in august and I either want to know if I am in a relationship or not.

Lot of stuff on my mind right now, but I am not thinking too much about PMO so that is nice.

Best,
Mathman1994

 

Almost Day 9, checking in

today I have prayed, meditated, eaten well, taken a walk, done some work.

I had some odd dreams last night. Not sexual, just weird and vivid, and related to a couple things/relationships I've been concerned about. I think there are a couple personal issues that I have been avoiding pretty studiously, and the time to confront them is fast approaching. This is probably part of my recent difficulty getting more than a couple weeks of NoFap.

Something occurred to me during my walk that I thought I'd share. I was reflecting on my life with regards to periods of freedom from porn versus periods of major relapse since the beginning of my NoFap journey in spring of 2017. I did pretty damn well from about April of '17 until March of '19 (not a singular, uninterrupted streak, mind you, but pretty good. I even stopped participating on NoFap for a while because I just didn't usually feel tempted, and when I would fall, I would get right back up and go another several months porn-free without thinking about it.). To the point: ever since starting NoFap, my relapses have been tied to moments in my life when I felt that things were bad and wouldn't get better. Breakup, bad relationships, family trouble, work stress. It's not just the anxiety from such problems, but the feeling that there's little hope of improvement; and if such is the case, why waste effort? Time to lock the door and give my brain a dopamine bath. That was my implicit mindset. I want this to change.

Today I am thankful for cold water.

 

Day 7

I feel relaxed more, but I feel like I could've done more today. I'm about to sleep so I will be better tomorrow

 

Day 198. I have been on vacation and not posting. I am in a bit of limbo. Not experiencing difficult urges for PMO but desiring to have a sexual experience. Id really like to meet a girl so that I can begin to establish a healthy sex life. I see this as a crucial part to my recovery and journey. I am being patient and looking to meet the right person.

 

16 days
Hey guys I want to join again

 

339 days

 

Checking in. I’ve had two days of great mountain bike rides, lake swims, and meaningful connection with friends. Feels great!
On the flip side, urges are creeping up, more for in-person sexual contact than porn, but those wires are still crossed so I’m staying very mindful of my triggers. it is not yet time for me to pursue a new relationship, so my focus will stay on healthy transmutation of these urges and continue to build up the man I want to be.
Be well everyone

 

Day 3 check-in - The Dark Fortress, Barad-dûr.

 

Day 54.

 

Day 129

 

Day 9 completed

 

Day 7

 

Okay, so yesterday was a total 100% disaster of a day and on some level I’m glad that I failed when it’s “only” the starting point because it was just way too much.

I had a combo of impossible situations including getting rejected in a job interview, a root canal pain that I’m still waiting for the treatment, a fight with my girlfriend, and two days ago I had a long and very hard talk with my father about his war induced PTSD and that he refuse to go into therapy and instead just plan on being in a depression state until he die all while he was dumping horror stories on me.

All of that made me unable to do basically anything, so I haven’t meditated or ate well or any other good thing. Just binge watched porn and lay on the bad not doing anything.

So I’m starting over.

I’ll find a job one day, and today I’ll keep on sending CV’s.

I’ve talked to my girlfriend, and we’ve worked things about for the better right now. The fight was mostly because of the fact that when I’m too stressed out I tend to shut down. So that’s just a thing I should work on.

It’s super hard but I’m not going to let my father make me his shrink because that would not help him and only give me nightmares.

And my tooth still hurt, but that’s just life.

 

23 days. Working during the day and socialising during the evening. No exercise, and ate quite unhealthy. On the flip side, pretty much no urges during the day, so all is good on my part.

Tonight, I will go away with some friends to the countryside, to celebrate a big holiday in my country over the weekend. I will not bring my laptop but I'll try to check in here on the phone, if everything works.