Fantasies about wife sharing.

I have had similar thoughts and done similar things. What sickens me most about the whole thing is that I love and respect my wife immensely. The dopamine addiction I was playing with got me to do this stuff. It sucks and I hate myself for doing it, but it is done and I cant take it back. Just keep trying to be better.

Arpy

 

In my experience, that will fade.

While I was still in the throes of my addiction, when I needed to fantasize my way through sex to keep an erection, my go-to fantasy was my wife with another man, or group of men.

83 days in. I'm not thinking of that anymore.

 

I can't personally relate to that struggle in particular, but like all of us, being open and sharing really does "lift the weight" off our shoulders and pave the way for recovery.

 

Fantasising about wife sharing and publishing photos of her is pretty much 100% my PMO story.

It's very common. Delve into it and there are huge numbers of men on online forums posting photos of their (almost always unaware) wives and getting off to the reactions. Some also pretend to be women, again common. I did it. so you should know that you're far from alone with this.

It is a powerful fantasy and I'm not sure I'll ever be free of it, but it's also deeply shameful behaviour for all the reasons you outline. You may not have been aware that there's a side to this which involves guys posting pics of their wives which are then taken by more dominant men who proceed to bully, humiliate and even blackmail the guys with the pics. I almost got sucked into that, it was only by luck that I didn't get blackmailed myself. Part of the problem is the classic need for novelty - posting photos is taboo so when you first do it, massive thrill. Then you start getting responses from guys and that's a big thrill. Then that wears off, so maybe you pretend to be a woman. That's a new thrill. Then it gets boring so you look for a new thrill. Ultimately I went through all of this and got bored of it all and began posting my wife's face and even a guy got hold of her name and personal details. The risk was the thrill, the sense of doing something I shouldn't, but it goes without saying that this is bad in every conceivable way.

It's not easy for me to confess this stuff, but knowing how common wife sharing fantasies are, I thought it would be good for anyone tempted to know where it can lead.

The other think you should know is that once you start posting pictures online, many of these sites don't allow you to delete them, and it's very common for guys to get cold feet after the initial thrill and then find they have to live with their actions for good.

Don't do it, that's my advice.

 

Just picking up on Glyptodon's point about checking for new comments on photos you've posted, this is a sub-addiction in its own right. I lost my business last year because I was sitting, bored, in front of the laptop constantly monitoring activity on the photos I'd posted, refreshing the screen to see if something new had happened. What a total waste of time. Again, my advice is don't do it.

 

I'm going to try to be very delicate and respectful with this post. I realize this post might fly in the face of NoFap and what it stands for, so I ask everyone to keep an open mind and please be polite if you disagree with what I'm saying. And keep in mind, I have very little experience with serious relationships (my longest one was 6 months) and I have absolutely no experience with marriage.

Have you thought about sharing these fantasies with your wife? To me, the posing as her and sending her photos is really bad, especially since those photos may now be in possession of a complete stranger or could be online forever, but what about physically sharing your wife? As in looking for another couple to double date and actually fool around with? If you are careful and find a legitimate and respectable couple, then why not? The idea might even turn your wife on. And if doesn't, assuming she loves you, she won't judge you for it as long as you don't mention it again.

Thoughts?

 

I've had the same fantasies in long term relationships - and in a couple of my less-committed flings I've actually shared the girl in real life. I've also fucked women in front of their partners on a few occasions, while completely looking down on the partner for allowing me to do so.

Thing is, as I've hinted upon in some of my other posts, I would not want to be in a committed relationship with a girl willing to behave like this - I have contradictory feelings of lust and fantasy mixed up with a reasonably healthy amount possessiveness, so it certainly got confusing at times when I had these thoughts. In fact, at certain points I was more interested in getting rid of my jealousy than having a normal girlfriend.

However, in the 30 days before my relapse I found my interest in promiscuous women waning, but the instant I broke my abstinence the same fantasies returned - along with a binge of gangbang porn whilst trawling the pages of a very well known fetish hookup site.

I think it's going to take a little while to find my own levels of genuine sexuality as opposed to the fantasies that my mind has created.

 

I read somewhere (can't remember where, sorry) an interesting analysis of the wife sharing / cuckold fantasy which related it to the emasculation of guys through porn addiction. So the desire to share her either as photos, or in real life, is about creating a virtual sex life where other guys can take on the responsibility of being sexually potent and the husband just becomes an onlooker. And it's about turning your own partner into a porn star. Anyway, apologies to the guy whose analysis I'm paraphrasing here, and apologies coz it's obviously bro science, but I think there's something in it. It's definitely more than just feeling pleased coz your wife's good looking and gets noticed.

 

Found the original post about cuckold fantasies, it's on this site:
http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthre...d-in-5-reasons-(long-post!)&highlight=cuckold

worth a read

 

Wow, I thought I was the only one that had these thoughts.

 

I also had hot fantasies about my wive fucking with another guy. One day, I shared my fantasy and said that she may do it in reality. The idea of getting another penis in her vagina aroused her very much and although she is religious she made some preparations for it. At last, she didn't and afterwards I am grateful for this.

 

Same fantasy here. Used to look for porn that had girls that looked like her.

 

I was one of those guys who sought out opportunities to have sex with those willing wives while the husband watched or videoed it. I was totally out of control and spent so much time looking for it. I'm ashamed that I took part in that stuff. Being a sex addict is a high in itself just the hunt is a thrill but it never ends there is never enough & when you can't find it then you turn to PMO till you can. This whole thing consumes you & I'm sorry for those I've harmed even though at the time it's what they thought they wanted to do.

It is a far more common thing & I think it's the shock or novel affect of something new. I've had plenty of hookups but I've yet to have a relationship. It's to the point where I can't think of normal sex as exciting. I guess that's how porn warps your mind.

 

Yes, it is all too true that, being a sex addict is a high in itself just the hunt is a thrill but it never ends there is never enough & when you can't find it then you turn to PMO till you can. That is a good point, well made. I was wondering if you are black. It occurred to me as those asking for a lover to come and have intercourse with their wives often seem to want the stereotypical 'big black cock'. While the husband would have felt somewhat emasculated, I assume the dynamic for you was one of almost superhuman empowerment. Do you find cuckolding a genre of porn you are still drawn to Will?

 

That's just sick and disgusting. I suggest going to see a therapist.

Feel sorry for your wife.

 

@JohhnyTheFox

Im not sure how to respond like if you are being sarcastic or something? Maybe I'm not reading it right or reading too much into your questions. Im a white guy and race had nothing to do with it.

I really don't even know what "cuckolding" is. I had to look it up. What I know is that it was just about sex I didn't really think about the dude or his wife & its not really the type of porn I would look at although Im sure I saw it, I wasn't drawn to it because it involved a guy watching his wife do it with another guy. Any porn I was drawn to was just because she was "hot" or the scene was "hot" or whatever.

As a sex addict I just searched different places where I could find women who wanted to hookup, mostly it was older women who wanted a younger guy (Im almost 20) and sometimes it was their husbands who arranged it. It was just for the thrill. When it was over I would feel really weird like I had gone into these peoples lives and taken part in some bizarre ritual and I was just a piece of meat that they consumed and then moved onto the next guy. I never felt empowered just kinda used, more by the husband because he was the one getting the thrill of watching or recording it. Its just a twisted world that I want no part of any more and yet I would be lying if some part of me dosnt still want to go "on the hunt" again.

So far been over 3 months "clean" no hookups. Just have to beat this PMO/Fap thing.

Stay Strong

 

I am not sure why you found my post confusing. Cuckolding is what you have done sometimes, apparently. I commended you for articulating well an important point. As I said, those asking for a lover to come and have intercourse with their wives often seem to want the stereotypical 'big black cock'. You did explain that you felt used rather than empowered. You mentioned you conflicted interest in doing this again. That's all I was aksing really - no need for confusion. Johnny.