The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 16! I guess enough time has passed for the memory of the past to not hold any sexual pull on me. I can say for certain that I'm becoming either more attractive or more confident... Or both. There is no sex involved, so I guess this won't be a trigger.
The past weekend I met a girl on the street and half hour later I was in her apartment drinking some wine. She then told me she had a boyfriend which totally shiftem my mood and got me into contemplation mode, as this was the first time someone admitted this from the get-go. Which brings me to my dilemma from a couple of days back on what to do in these situations. I guess, due to various factors(NoFap included), I wasn't feeling that desperate to try and get her, as I started understanding lately, that there are enough women for me to not be required to accept weird and unproductive situations or entanglements. Knowing that, I told her to not do anything, to spare the drama and for me to understand what's happening, because I'm fairly confident that she will eventually cheat on the dude once she will see that moments like those will keep repeating.
Next time, I don't think I will be this "honorable" though, though I would prefer if they were single.

 

Nice poem especially I like the last three parts:
Once, anger burned in the depths.
I called anger into the light of myself.
I felt its shocking power.
I let my heart pound and my blood boil.
Listened to it, finally.
And it screamed, "Respect yourself fiercely now!".
"Speak your truth with passion!".
"Say no when you mean no!".
"Walk your path with courage!".
"Let no one speak for you!"
Anger became an honest friend.
A truthful guide.
A beautiful wild child.

Once, loneliness cut deep.
I tried to distract and numb myself.
Ran to people and places and things.
Even pretended I was "happy".
But soon I could not run anymore.
And I tumbled into the heart of loneliness.
And I died and was reborn
into an exquisite solitude and stillness.
That connected me to all things.
So I was not lonely, but alone with All Life.
My heart One with all other hearts.

Once, I ran from difficult feelings.
Now, they are my advisors, confidants, friends,
and they all have a home in me,
and they all belong and have dignity.
I am sensitive, soft, fragile,
my arms wrapped around all my inner children.
And in my sensitivity, power.
In my fragility, an unshakeable Presence.
In the depths of my wounds,
in what I had named “darkness”,
I found a blazing Light
that guides me now in battle.
I became a warrior
when I turned towards myself.
And started listening."

 

Check in day 6

 

Cheers my fellows!

 

Why thank you!

Just happy to be here.

I'll do a proper check-in this evening.

 

day 5

 

Lets do this ! Done it once today :
-Breathing(was a hard one practiced it for 12 minutes)
-Remember the truth
-Accountability text
-Escape(went shopping groceries )
Have you done your BRACE practice today? How was it going?

 

Day 32, trod on!

 

Any place where I can read mode about BRACE. The initial DDG search didn't come up with anything useful

Day 6. Felt a little tired today even though I slep enough. Was able to focus at work and be pretty productive. A good day overall.

Little concerned about wet dreams (since I didn't O in 6 days and I used to O daily) and the Chaser Effect. Feels like that's my next challenge and I hope I'll raise to the occasion.

 

day 14

 

Day 16

Accomplished so far: 8 hours of sleep, some work, prayer, meditation, healthy meal. Still on the agenda: workout, cold shower, walk (?), more reading.

I really am starting to come back to myself, thank God, but it's taking some time. I must persevere and be patient.

This is the danger zone for me. Or "a" danger zone. Not having any bad cravings yet, but started to get some minor porn flashbacks today. My response is to banish the thought in Christ's name with a quick prayer, then go back to whatever I was doing. I'm going to need the power of God to defeat this addiction. I know it's trite, but it really is one day at a time.

I am thankful today for God's mercy, and for the interesting people all around me.

 

God bless you, friend. We're with you on the path!

 

Checking in. Will get offline and into a good book before bed.

 

Day 136

 

346 days

 

1 day -> Orc

 

Day 61.