Sexual repression or escalation?

HaultyKill · Jul 10, 2021

Hey guys, I've heard of NoFap for a while and well, do not hear good things about it due to the subreddit however on the actual focus of the subject, I understand the message behind it and think that it is a good way to give ones self a break or lessen one's usage or even trying to get rid of an addiction entirely, however I don't believe complete abstinence is a healthy thing or believe abstinence "for life" is healthy at all.

I come here asking for some insight/advice/help on a specific situation that I had/have whenever I consume porn, I potentially may or may not quit since really it's up to the individual to decide at the end of the day. I find myself fantasizing about penises/gay sex whenever I consume pornography. However, I don't consume gay porn and to be really honest, I find gay porn to be revolting/a huge turn off. The idea is always in my head and never goes beyond that however I find myself feeling like I should reach out and try despite not actually feeling any sexual attraction at all, the problem is I find penises really unappealing (i also find some vagina's very unappealing) and almost could imagine myself vomiting in the presence of another penis in a scenario where it's just me and the penis.

Did/does anyone else experience this? Whenever I give myself a break from watching porn, usually a week, sometimes two (I usually do this like once a month) the thoughts would disappear. I feel no physical or romantic attraction to men at all and I'm not saying all of this because it's wrong, it's because I can't understand whether it's actually apart of me (aka being bisexual but not being able to process/understand it properly) or if it's a result of porn escalation (even though I never went beyond vanilla content/watched anything extreme).

Any sort of insight as to what I could be dealing with?

Flesh · Jul 10, 2021

I think I see what u mean. I'm not sure it's related to porn really (for me tho), and if by writting "gay sex" you are talking about playing with your ass with an object for pleasure right ? There is, imo, no "gay" in it. It's just opening yourself to new ways of pleasuring yourself, and I don't see much difference between a man finding pleasure in sex with only his penis, or with his penis and his asshole. Idk if that's clear. I wouldn't make the association with "gay" since this means that u would be sexually attracted by your own sex which as u describe it is not the case.

HaultyKill · Jul 10, 2021

Flesh said: ↑

I think I see what u mean. I'm not sure it's related to porn really (for me tho), and if by writting "gay sex" you are talking about playing with your ass with an object for pleasure right ? There is, imo, no "gay" in it. It's just opening yourself to new ways of pleasuring yourself, and I don't see much difference between a man finding pleasure in sex with only his penis, or with his penis and his asshole. Idk if that's clear. I wouldn't make the association with "gay" since this means that u would be sexually attracted by your own sex which as u describe it is not the case.
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Oh don't worry I know that playing with yourself anally doesn't make one gay. There's using toys on yourself and then there's being immersed in that fantasy, and usually that fantasy involves a human being or a disembodied penis, regardless of you knowing the person or not. It's the realism aspect that does it for me rather than using actual toys but the moment the porn consumption stops it never pops up again.

Flesh · Jul 10, 2021

okay okay, just wanted to discuss the difference and make sure u see the dissociation between the two. Can't really bring you an answer then^^

Tsvankin · Jul 10, 2021

Sorry I didn't have the right answer for you at that time, but my situation relates a little to yours.
I wonder if I'm repressing my sexuality or if I'm just addicted to porn. Just like you i find gay porn disgusting, but time and time again i find myself masturbating watching good looking men in straight scenes. I think i don't feel physical or emotional attraction to men in real life too. But it turns out that sometimes I feel like fingering myself but I don't have the guts to do that. Looks like i'm straight in real life, but bi in my fantasies.
When I started watching porn I had total aversion to cocks. So I think porn shaped my sexual tastes.
So, i'd like to know your age and how long have you had these fantasies?

Playmaker97 · Jul 28, 2021

Tsvankin said: ↑

Sorry I didn't have the right answer for you at that time, but my situation relates a little to yours.
I wonder if I'm repressing my sexuality or if I'm just addicted to porn. Just like you i find gay porn disgusting, but time and time again i find myself masturbating watching good looking men in straight scenes. I think i don't feel physical or emotional attraction to men in real life too. But it turns out that sometimes I feel like fingering myself but I don't have the guts to do that. Looks like i'm straight in real life, but bi in my fantasies.
When I started watching porn I had total aversion to cocks. So I think porn shaped my sexual tastes.
So, i'd like to know your age and how long have you had these fantasies?
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My experience is similar to this, however the trans porn only came after 10 years of escalation for me, so I do think this is the way pornography has shaped our sexual tastes. We need to abstain basically for as long as possible to go back to 'factory settings' would be my guess. But I can't really say anything on this topic with certainty because I have OCD and HOCD being one of my big 'themes' I just accept the uncertainty that I could also be bi or gay and that's ok.

modernstore99 · Jul 28, 2021

HaultyKill said: ↑

Hey guys, I've heard of NoFap for a while and well, do not hear good things about it due to the subreddit however on the actual focus of the subject, I understand the message behind it and think that it is a good way to give ones self a break or lessen one's usage or even trying to get rid of an addiction entirely, however I don't believe complete abstinence is a healthy thing or believe abstinence "for life" is healthy at all.

I come here asking for some insight/advice/help on a specific situation that I had/have whenever I consume porn, I potentially may or may not quit since really it's up to the individual to decide at the end of the day. I find myself fantasizing about penises/gay sex whenever I consume pornography. However, I don't consume gay porn and to be really honest, I find gay porn to be revolting/a huge turn off. The idea is always in my head and never goes beyond that however I find myself feeling like I should reach out and try despite not actually feeling any sexual attraction at all, the problem is I find penises really unappealing (i also find some vagina's very unappealing) and almost could imagine myself vomiting in the presence of another penis in a scenario where it's just me and the penis.

Did/does anyone else experience this? Whenever I give myself a break from watching porn, usually a week, sometimes two (I usually do this like once a month) the thoughts would disappear. I feel no physical or romantic attraction to men at all and I'm not saying all of this because it's wrong, it's because I can't understand whether it's actually apart of me (aka being bisexual but not being able to process/understand it properly) or if it's a result of porn escalation (even though I never went beyond vanilla content/watched anything extreme).

Any sort of insight as to what I could be dealing with?
Click to expand...

I don't exactly understand your question, but I'm sure you can find some answers you're looking for on the YBOP website. They have a lot of topics covered. I will link to their FAQs and some links to pages I think will be helpful for you.

https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-porn-use-faqs/

https://web.archive.org/web/2017090...n.com/ask-us-iam-attracted-to-gay-transsexual

https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-porn-use-faqs/do-i-have-to-have-sex-in-order-to-rewire/

Dr.J_76ers · Jul 29, 2021

I personally believe that in your case it is porn escalation b/c I experienced HOCD and now, on NoFap, it is mostly, if not all, gone.

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