MEN: PLEASE STAY VIRGINS!

It's actually not very interesting. You missed some important difference here. The OP doesn't want to stay virgin until marriage but indefinitely. @Rosamund just wanted to save her virginity until marriage.

The criticism here has absolutely nothing to do with the fact he's a man. I personally believe it's important for both men and women to keep their virginity until marriage. But it's obvious that the OP has no clue that there's a middle and healthy way to this.

Kind regards,

Desert.

 

Is it though? Because if you look closely, this is not the same thread you made. @Rosamund wanted to save herself for marriage. You didn't mention something like that.

I don't mean to be harsh, but you're the second person who misses this difference for some weird reason. I actually love the fact that you try to remain pure. I just wish you could see that you can remain pure even if you're not a virgin as a married man and this is even healthier. Sex doesn't transform everyone into a thirsty, promiscuous, and sex-addicted monster, my friend.

Peace.

 

You are correct. there is difference here
I find the idea of never having sex a bit extreme. I like the idea of getting the feminine energy from a woman by sex. without sex, it might be very hard to be balanced. Maybe OP is afraid of losing semen or whatever reason.

 

Yes. It's extreme, indeed. Obviously, it's much healthier than being promiscuous so I don't subscribe to the impulsive reactions here that attack the OP. It actually takes courage and discipline to stay away from promiscuous activity. But I believe that he hasn't realized that sex is not promiscuous by itself.

Sex is actually neither good or bad by itself. But it can surely be used in a good and a bad way. He is aware only of the bad side of the coin. Sex is just an act and there is not just one kind of intention behind it. When it comes from love for the other person's body, it is filthy. When it comes from genuine love for the actual person, it is holy.

And I really hope OP realizes this someday because though it's actually very doable to stay celibate for life, it's also very dangerous if you don't know how to transmute that energy without a partner. It can catapult you back to where you began and worse; very soon, very fast. Just take a look at Catholic priests sexually abusing children.

 

I think this can be understood in a comprehensive way in a developmental context. Not only have a lot of people had some kind of psychological curve balls growing up (which doesn't have to be extreme forms of abuse) that results in some kind of arrested development, there's just also the fact that the sex drive is a powerful thing in the first place. If you like, we can talk about it in terms of self mastery. The idea of two people coming together to form a whole is a big deal considering the complexity (and psychological issues) of just one person. Sex itself obviously doesn't mean the other person cares about you in a deep way, it may very well mean they just want sex, and that's probably truer across the board more than ever. If it's about a high vs. a real relationship of course it's gonna suck, especially if you throw in the fact that it's a powerful biological instinct and most people on the planet simply don't have that level of mastery over it.

 

None of the extremes are to benefit one. Mindless non-marital sex weakens the ability to create bond with a possible future partner.

Also not having sex at all is another extreme. I'm not concerned with sex addiction because that's probably not going to happen in a marriage.

Couples usually have a lot of sex in the first few years, then start to get serious about other areas of life. I don't think there are much concerns in married sex, that's what had been done naturally for centuries after all.

 

I don't agree with this post, you're entitled to believe what you wish and I won't shame you for it. I will however, offer my thoughts on your post.

It seems that you're mixing up sex with a partner you share a bond with vs full blown sex addiction. The two are not synonymous and the former does not lead to the latter. Perhaps the outcome of your PMO addiction has lead you down a road that equates the harms of pornography with a healthy sexual relationship being harmful? This is not the case, even on a religious or spiritual standpoint. There is an exchange of energy between you and the woman you share a bond with in bed, you both benefit from this. A man can also practice semen retention during sex, which in my opinion is the best way to have sex for maximum chemical/hormonal benefit to both. Perhaps looking up karezza, as was previously mentioned by @The Pennsylvanian .

Please do not fear a sexual relationship because of the harm pornography may have created in your life.

Also, you should not discredit @modern milarepa the way you have, he posts a lot of useful information with regards to these types of practices. You could benefit from his teachings, he has a lot of knowledge to offer in regards to semen retention. I don't necessarily agree with everything he posts, but that doesn't make me throw curses in his direction. We are all human and we are bound to disagree on various topics, there is no need to lose your temper over such disagreements.

Finally, I don't think you should be bashing people for having differing opinions on your thread. You seem to be getting very aggressive and defensive about your opinion, which does not leave you open for discussion. There are quite a few posts on this thread from various individuals who are offering up valid advice or criticism without insult and yet you refer to them as "trolls and haters". Why post a thread on a public forum if you are not open to discussion? Food for thought.

Have a pleasant weekend!

Cheers

 

Wait one case of a disastrous sexual mess doesn’t mean all who end up having sex will go the route of addiction. That’s like saying because I got the flu today, everyone will. We’re all different. This idea of yours doesn’t apply to everyone. But staying a virgin could be a good little practice on its own for those who are so inclined. I mean I was one up until a couple years ago when I got married

 

Friend, your assumption about what's driving those priests is as good as mine and the quote you shared proves it: "Starving men may think much about food, but so do gluttons". It's dangerous to remain hungry for too long unless you know how to handle that hunger. Let's hope that you do or at least learn down the road. Wishing you all the best.

 

you are the guy who is proud of having been with prostitutes... to practice semen retention... jfl

 

From my "research" it seem that people who have frequent sex are actually healthier than those who practice abstinence. There might be psychological gains to abstinence but other than that it is not in fact healthier.
Don't mean to criticize OP and all other abstinent here, you are free to live your live however you see fit.

 

Hello dear friends.

I did not know of such a thread until today, after checking the forum, I found out that I was mentioned in it.

Firstly, there is a simple rule in human life, and that is that you have no right to hurt or upset anyone as long as they do not insult or harass you.
So, it is better to note that if we do not like this topic, it is better not to participate in it, or if we participate, to speak quite friendly and polite. Insulting and mocking have never been the right thing to do.

I am just expressing my opinion and I hope that the bitter atmosphere created in this forum will disappear as soon as possible.

My personal opinion is that we should not replace our porn or masturbation addiction with sex addiction. Sex is one of the blessings that God has given us, and it is important how we use it. It does not matter to me if someone decides to have sex before marriage or not, or if someone decides to get married at all.

Accept that these decisions are very personal and we can only encourage others, not scare them or impose our views on them. However, in a thread I created some time ago, I tried to encourage others to abstain from sex and keep it until they get married.

Incidentally, I think that sex is also one of the pleasures of this world. Just as we enjoy eating the best foods and drinks, we enjoy sex, but the problem arises when we have meaningless sex. Damage our lives by entering into meaningless relationships.

I think maintaining virginity until marriage is a beautiful and admirable trait; But if someone has another decision, there is really no problem. Because those people also have reasons for themselves, however, not all people want to get married or not everybody can do it, Or thousands of other problems.
We do not live in an ideal world.

Rose

 

I believe that it depends on how you do it, to be honest. I am from the school of though that frequent sex won't do anyone any harm as long as it's from the heart (with your SO whom you are in a spiritual marriage with), and you don't ejaculate.

I know the latter is taboo for many, but it becomes less so if you acknowledge that ejaculation is a sacrifice that you make to have kids. Or it's a sacrifice that you make to have short-term pleasure (as is the case for many).

So if you compare someone who has frequent non-ejaculatory sex with their spouse to someone who is celibate but can't transmute the sexual energy well enough, the former is by far more healthy. But if we were to compare someone who ejaculates every time they have sex and more so, with someone who they're not in love with to one who is celibate and practices sexual transmutation, then the latter would be healthier. That's why I think it depends on a lot of factors.

And that also reminds me how there are many here who think that semen retention is all about abstaining from sex. I think this is unfortunate and can be as dangerous as is promiscuity sometimes.

Having sex with your SO and not ejaculate is a win-win. You get to exchange your energy with your partner (as @becomingreat described) but without any loss of the fluid.

Not ejaculating during sex is a component of semen retention and that's why having sex doesn't instantly make you fall out of the semen retention school of thought.

 

Great input and I would like to add that even if one can't or won't get married and loses their virginity, that won't necessarily make him less pure than one who gets married first.

The foundation of this argument is based on the fact that the process of marriage is a symbolism of something that has already happened; that is, a spiritual union between two minds. Many people outside of religion can remain pure even if they won't marry, just by having developed this union before they get to have sex.

An example to illustrate my point. Think of a man belonging in the church who wants to marry a virgin just to have sex with her (a despicable intention). And compare that man with someone who has no intention to get married, but will not have sex before they develop real love for the person whom they are with. Who is the wiser? Who will be the purer? And I dare ask, who will remain a virgin to some degree looking at it from another angle? Obviously, the latter.

I wanted to expound on this idea of keeping your virginity until marriage because some non-religious person could justify their promiscuity just because they won't get married. While in fact, there is no excuse for it no matter their beliefs.

Best,

Desert.