The water is warm

Hey, I think it's more about shifting your perspective and choosing to point your compass upward when your body and feelings are dragging, than saying mantras.

The mind is a powerful and you can retrain your brain by gently redirecting your outlook each time a depressing perspective tries to bring you under.

For example: If I don't feel like getting out of bed one day, I get up anyways and encourage myself upwards. It was really tough the first few weeks. Everything inside of me was kicking and screaming and trying to tell me how stupid it was, but the more I disciplined myself, my body and mind eventually learned and loved this change and I stopped giving into the illusions of fear and victimization.

For me, I've also been practicing mindfulness in the form if getting to the root causes behind why I feel the way I do.

Maybe give this a try and take it slow, and see where it leads you. But you have to be consistent over weeks/months. Try to also practice seeing the value, joy, logic, and love behind everyday good life choices. Your life has value that is fighting for.

That's my experience in this. Hope it helps!

 

Hmm maybe you didn't see the right doctors : / You may want to see a mental health specialist. It's no big deal. Sometimes you don't even need a referral. You may be healthy, but I've learned that our brain chemistry is funny business. Sometimes you may not even need medication, maybe some cognitive behavioral therapy.

In any case: yeah, positive reinforcement works! Make a change for the best, reinforce your positive thoughts with positive affirmations, pat yourself in the back for wanting to do better (which you clearly want, as this thread demonstrates). Someone once said, there could be many reasons to want to die, but you only need one reason to want to live. Find your reason!! Come alive! Sing a tune! Dance in your living room! Do something fun and energetic that will make you be glad to be alive!

Can life be hard? Yes. Does it keep knocking us down? Yes. That's because it hates how alive we are!

Do something - anything - that will give you some satisfaction. If you can't think of anything, look into new things. There are a million hobbies, a million games, a million things you can do to give your life more meaning. Consider volunteering - nothing makes us feel as well as helping others - even if it's just spending a few minutes in a forum encouraging another person!

 

Meds, therapy, and positive ideation my dude. You have got to get some help, depression is no joke. And you can't tear into yourself. See, I know I'm a shitweasel, but I can't keep thinking that and saying that to myself, because then I become even more of a shitweasel.

And, obligatory P comment. It works for short term. I know it does. It doesn't for long term though, so if you can do something like run or lift or practice underwater ballet or anything to get yourself moving around, even though you feel like a sack of heavy turds, do it. Give yourself a pushup challenge or something.

 

Yeah that's not normal. You shouldn't have to get used to being tired. If you already exercise regularly and you still feel it for a prolonged period, that means it's not just a low mood. I checked out your journal, and it looks like your P use, however you're defining that, along with your alcohol use is more self medicating than an obsessive P addiction. There's something chemically off.

It does sound like you've tried some things. You might think about messing with your diet, not just "eat your veggies" but serious stuff like eliminating wheat, sugar, or processed foods. I'd try counseling and perhaps experimenting with anti-depressants. All that costs money, sorry about that. But I don't think you're a normal guy who just hasn't figured it out. It's not that you aren't disciplined enough or you're not making the right choices in some way. I think something's wrong in your body or your brain, and that's not your fault but you should be looking for ways to fix it, not just try forcing yourself to feel better. The title of this thread makes it seem like you want to get better through sheer willpower and I hard relate, but I don't think that's going to happen. Best of luck to you though.