The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 0 again I’m feeling hopeless but i dont want to give up , so let’s do this again

 

Day 2 complete. In between some volunteer work at my church in the morning, and my actual job work in the afternoon, I took a nap for a little under an hour. During that time I experienced what I'm calling a wet dream, but there are some guilty, confused feelings lingering. It doesn't seem right that I should have had a wet dream just two days after a release, and I know that during a quick afternoon nap, a person won't usually fall into a deep, dreaming sleep. All that has me wondering if maybe somehow I did something to make myself more vulnerable. I'll be cautious moving forward.

 

Im gonna start reporting in daily again. Staying off the grid didnt really work out, chaser effect got to me.

I remember reaching my previous day 70+ streak by being here daily in multiple threads. I want that again never am i gonna quit and giveup!

Day 0 - The Dark Fortress, Barad-dûr.

The road goes ever on!

 

Looks like you oversimplifying to avoid self-examination and exposure of the cause(s).

 

Why do you want this? Why you refuse to quit and give up?

 

If you keep doing what you always done, how can you expect a different result? Take full inventory of every relapse, learn from your mistakes, change and adjust your lifestyle to be in harmony with your goal(s).
p.s. If you keep details of your relapses to yourself you are cutting yourself off from the advice and help of experienced brothers who had overcome these problems already.

 

51 days.

Productive day even though I was easily distracted by my phone and computer when I tried to work. Not much urges.

 

Yes friend it happened with me in the past. I lost too much time in these dating apps because i chose them as an alternative of p, but at that time in my mind it was not as bad idea as I now know that it is more worst than p. And yes brother you are right that these apps are designated for making us addicted with them.

 

Day 24 completed, approaching Weathertop

 

Day 21
Feeling little lazy and lack of energy. I worked out today morning it was difficult for me but i didn't left my workout as it was against my routine. I think the problem of feeling less energetic today due to changed sleep pattern of yesterday so from now i'll continue to follow my same sleeping schedule.

 

Day 6

 

22 days

 

Day 150 no PMO. I’m thinking of joining a new challenge in addition to this one. I really think reading all your posts every morning helps me and I’m betting that adding to that will just help all the more. Can you guys recommend another active challenge?

 

373 days dwarf king
449 days no PMO, semen retention

 

Fall down hard.

I did everything wrong today, and somehow it ended badly.

It’s 15:45 right now and I’m writing this at some coffee place. Finally I’m out of the house and I’ve got my shit a little bit more together. Now comes the hard part of trying to understand why it all went to hell.

For start, I went to bad kind of stress after a small fight with my girlfriend. We are both stressed out about doing the relocation so fast. BTW, if someone here is from Berlin I would love to talk to you, just to ask some who live there some questions.

I’m using the pluckeye extension to block all pictures and videos on the computer. So I woke up groggy and without even thinking it I got into a sex stories site and went to one specific story that I’ve read a million times. after fapping twice without even eating or brushing my teeth I just lay down and started playing on the Xbox instead of doing the million things I have to do or even doing the normal thing a person dues in the morning. And after an hour of Xbox, for the first time in my life I got on the internet through the console itself just to watch porn videos… so that’s the second way I’ve bypassed pluckeye today.

I felt like shit after that and went back to the computer, and again I found a third way to bypassed pluckeye and on that point I just binged for another two hours.

I just fill like I’ve killed the spark of life in myself today. that is the closes I’ve been to depression and suicidal thoughts that I’ve had in a while. I’m not going to kill myself, I’ve been in a deep depression long enough to understand that this is just a shitty symptom of the will to escape life and suicidal thoughts basically push on the same button like porn for me. The “Life isn’t real” feeling that I crave when life scare me or when I feel week.

So now. how to reboot. It’s so shitty that the first 72 hours are so hard. I’m truly fear that I’ll never get out of this cycle.

 

259 days P-free.
About 5-10 days Psub-free.
0 days M-free.

I was off NoFap for a long time, and let myself go, but at least I did not watch pornography. I thought about it a lot, which was scary.

I want this!

Let's go!