P.A.W.S. - what are they, cure, duration

Yeah, who knows. This thread seems pretty dead as of late. Hope the torch get's passed and it doesn't die completely. Maybe this is the calm before the storm, and we're going to get hit with a bunch of success posts.

I'm 21 months in tomorrow, and though there have been improvements, I still feel as if I'm only at 65-70%. Maybe even less. Feelin' pretty down right now. I just hate how lonely this whole process makes me feel. Even when I'm around people I can't truly connect with them in a way that cures all of the loneliness. So fuckin' ready for it all to be over.

 

-It was so slow that I couldnt even measure short term progress tbh, I would only notice changes every 3 months
-Concentration / being able to read books was basically the way I used to check my progress, since its a task that heavily relies on dopamine
-The changes are definitely not sudden, I was already feeling like a human being halfway through my journey (2y long paws symptoms)
-Dreaming less / having less vivid dreams is also a progress indicator for drug related withdrawals

 

Excuse me to bother you guys in this thread but I'm on day 43 of my reboot and lately I've been getting severe porn flashbacks all day and I was wondering if someone could help me with how I can cope with this during my recovery process, the flashbacks give me lots and lots of anxiety when they do pop up and my brain gets compulsive and keeps repeating the flashback to me....help is very much appreciated

 

Hi @TStruggler, thanks for your message (it has come at a really good time), and congrats on beating PIED. Its been really difficult to find those who actually have.

2 quick questions from me if that's ok:

1) I remember you mentioned that you only relapsed during the first 5 months of your streak. Does this mean that the remaining 19 months were relapse free?
2) Do you remember the point in your recovery that your PIED was cured? Am I right in thinking that PIED was cured before the withdrawal symptoms?

Thanks

 

Never had PIED before paws, I started nofap very early (14)

But if you are talking about PIED as a withdrawal symptom, it was the last one to fade away

And yes I did relapse a few times, but without porn / fantasizing

 

Hi @Seeking_the_answers

I cannot be quoted but my thoughts are:

1) flashbacks are usually a positive sign of recovery. Memories/flashbacks dwell in the recess of your mind an are known to rise to the surface when no longer in use. It would make sense to think that flashbacks travel from your subconscious mind, up into your conscious mind.
2) Could there be a trivial activity that is triggering these thoughts? Are you viewing anything on tv? Social media etc? Could they potentially be linked to your diet for example. Scrutinize your lifestyle with a fine tooth comb and see if there is anything external triggering the thoughts.

Finally can I suggest posting your question as a new thread. That way a wider range of individuals can see your question and provide their own answer.

Good Luck

 

Ok I understand.

Would you say morning wood was a thing during recovery? From your personal experience would you say it was an effective way of measuring how far along in recovery you were?
Did you experience a flatline, a flatline that was made up of good/not so good days - peaks and troughs as some would say.

Thanks

 

My flashbacks come to me randomly during the day and night, even when I'm not doing anything so I really wanted to know how can I deal with them in my recovery...to know what is the best method for that

 

never had morning wood for atleast 95% of it, and my flatline was pretty much consistent, felt like shit consistently for the first months and them things started getting gradually better with time

 

Final questions from me:

1) Did you rewire with someone while rebooting?

2) how did you know you were cured? Did you need to test with someone or was there an inner knowing that you were back to normal?

 

1) No
2)Like I said, its not sudden, you'll slowly notice that you are feeling better

 

How long your flatline

 

I really need the help guys...if anybody has any advice and techniques on it, I'd really appreciate it

 

What does "rewire" mean?

About PAWS, I might have it. Flatlined worse than ever. Dead. Sore. Tired. Indifferent. Anhedonia.

I guess it's a waiting game to heal.

Then I think, ah this reboot is too hard. Why not relapse?

But I come around. Bad idea.

Then I go back to waiting...

 

2 years

 

Yo guys, currently on a 9 month steak here, last couple of days horrible fatigue hit me, like I’m sleeping 16 hours a day minimum. Anyways, you guys think it’s a bad idea to ejaculate with my girlfriend? 20 years old, she knows about my situation, I went from horrible PIED to daily morning woods after we first forced an ejaculation through oral sex. Didn’t feel any worse for 3 months, things started looking up. Was able to ejaculate through oral sex, felt cured in a way. All of a sudden I got hit with these fatigue and depression symptoms and now I don’t know what to do. No porn or masturbation though

 

Hey guys,

Been a while since I checked in here.

Free of porn 256 days, free of MO 184 days. (1 MO relapse day of that first streak)

I've also quit using guided meditations at night about 3 weeks ago. I didn't want to rely on my phone/nor look at blue light before bed. Over the last 3 weeks, I noticed myself ruminating at night, thinking a lot. Anxiety was more present in the last few weeks, which lead to some days being fatigued. I'm finding more anxious triggers, definitely hard to contend with at times. I do feel that "overwhelm" feeling at times when I'm anxious, but I'd say I'm better at dealing with it.

Keep in mind guys, the severity of the initial withdrawal can cause a trauma loop. Meaning, your mind might auto react to certain things giving you anxiety/feelings of fatigue due to the intense emotions you felt at first. Very important to sort through those on your recovery or you will continue to experience them.

My dreaming has been quite lucid over the last 3-4 months, more so as of late, which I suppose is a good sign.

I'm not where I want to be obviously, far from it, there has been progress since the start. Slow and steady steps.

Also, I truly believe the issue is more of a serotonin nature for us than a dopamine one.

 

Sadly I couldn't help because I myself am in a exact same situation when it comes to fatigue, I feel like passing out due to fatigue, always sleepy.
I don't know what to do, guys!! anyone has any idea?

 

Did you have acne as a symptom?
How were you at 10 months in?

 

I completed 20 months of retention yesterday and there is even better news: I'm officially out of PAWS.

When I quit drinking years ago I suffered from PAWS big time. I found out about it about nine months into sobriety when I was looking online for answers while wondering why it felt like I was losing my fucking mind. 21 months into sobriety I woke up one morning and just knew I had made it to the other side.

While going through PAWS this time around for sex/masturbation addiction my symptoms have been gradually easing. Libido and mental acuity have been steadily improving while fatigue and brain fog have been diminishing. Although there has been steady improvement I woke up this morning and had the same feeling I had 21 months into sobriety from alcohol: I made it to the other side. Unfortunately I can't really elaborate on that, it is simply a feeling deep down inside.

Today I feel absolutely amazing, I can't even remember the last time I felt this alive before. Semen retention is no joke, I'm a believer.

Although there is no substitute for time I also credit two practices which I've introduced only recently for helping me in the final lap: meditation and enemas (this is not a joke). I've practiced meditation half-heartedly in the past but no longer. Minimum of 30 minutes everyday and most days I manage two 30 minute sessions per day. Regarding enemas they have not only cleared out my impacted bowels but they have also allowed the sexual energy at my root chakra to travel freely.

This is in addition to intense weight training, intermittent fasting, drinking lots of water, cold showers, and minimalist living which I've been doing for years. Semen retention is the cornerstone to my disciplined lifestyle as it should be.

Life is beautiful. God is beautiful.

It might be time to finally start dating again. We'll see.