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To have children, or not, or later?

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by R2DToy, Aug 1, 2021.

  1. R2DToy

    R2DToy Fapstronaut

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    Hey there.

    I've got a lot of things going through my head every day but I notice a lot of repeating things. For instance, the 'to have children or not - and if so, when' thing. I'm 36 now, and if you're around that age you must've noticed time is 'running out' for you.

    Around my age you start to lose contacts because they're settling and/or have children. I noticed that people who have children, they seem to be about 80% a burden and 20% fun. Still, in my eyes it seems worthwhile to have children, if only to continue your bloodline, have someone support you later and see your grandchildren. I just think it will be an eternal regret not to have children.

    On the other hand, like I said, you will have to make a lot of sacrifices. Since you're going to need about a 100,000 bucks per child in his lifetime, you WILL have to work full-time, unless you've got a high paying job. So there's the bye bye freedom, and bye bye career/business dreams that I currently spend a lot of time working on.

    But back to the other hand.. I'm 36. That means the women you'll be able to get are likely around that age, heh, for the women that you can get by now, since a lot of them have already settled. We all know the good ones are often taken, and it's depressing to realize that the single ones are either not-exactly-attractive or are seperated with children. I refuse to become that beta man taking care of someone elses children. No to mention all the problems that brings on its own.

    Anyway, women have a biological clock, it heavily slows down when they reach age 35, and from there on it's too late. So if you know you usually only can get women around your age, well do the math.. it means that I am running out of time as well!

    Damn it, no one ever told me about this stuff. It feels like a slap in the face, and every day I still feel that slap.

    But maybe I'm exaggerating. Maybe it's all in my head. Please do tell me I have more time and oppertunities. Please tell me, that I am wrong about what I wrote.
     
  2. gordie

    gordie Fapstronaut

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    Why don't you date younger girls?
     
  3. R2DToy

    R2DToy Fapstronaut

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    I would if they wanted to. Or do you think I have the wrong mindset. When I look at myself in the mirror, and shave time is overdue, I even notice a bunch of grey hairs. This and other stuff kinda impacts my mindset in a way, that makes me believe they simply don't want to.

    Let's be honest, why would a 25 year old woman date me, if she can choose from guys around her age? What would be the benefit of choosing an older guy? I understand I have a bit of a negative mindset. I've been looking for arguments to turn it around, but I can't find any other than that I am 'wiser'. Other than that, as you grow older, you lose that lean look. I'm not financially wealthy either, as a result of the past. The way I feel, is that I am behind about 10 years from people around my age.
     
    gordie likes this.
  4. Atticus

    Atticus Fapstronaut

    Because guys around her own age don't have a stable ground to stand on. Older men like us look far better from a security standpoint.

    But if you're not stable, then yeah, it'll be harder to attract a mate.
     
    Gina3111 and Meshuga like this.
  5. Vanquisher12

    Vanquisher12 Fapstronaut

    That’s why I’m aiming to have found a loyal (and preferably virgin when I meet her) long-term partner and married her by the time I’m around 30, and have one or two children with her in the next few years. I want my bloodline to continue, but don’t want to have regrets about ‘missing out on the good ones’ or being forced to look after the vile spawn of a bad boy beta male alongside my own offspring.
     
  6. I don't know about your life and choices. But personally, I would not have kids. Humans already overpopulate this planet, and I have seen nothing but pain and suffering since birth. I would never wish to bring someone else into this world by my own hands. So, I would not have kids. (I may be being selfish and over-dramatic about it, but I don't care, honestly.)
     
  7. BrighterFuture

    BrighterFuture Fapstronaut

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    I believe it largely depends on your ability to take control, I mean you're in control of your life, right? it's not just your "income" or "modern life" that sets your path for you, many men use this excuse to avoid having children or even getting married at all, it's one hell of a weak excuse
    I know so many blessed poor men who have a lot of children to feed, a lot of mouths. I use the word "blessed" because they were able to cope with it, it wasn't a happy fulfilling life to the children, yes, most of these fathers suffered from disconnection with the children after they grew up and forgot about them, but you know what? I remember one of them, at about age 48, he got married AGAIN, 3 more children added to the basket, it's crazy!
    I don't believe what they're doing is right, but the point is, who stopped this divorced poor guy from getting married at age 48? and who can stop you from finding the one for you... age? you put the limits my man.
     
    Vanquisher12 likes this.
  8. SickSicko

    SickSicko Fapstronaut

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    That gave me some hardcore utopia vibes



    Ok I'm going be a bit blunt, have kids while you still can people, there is a shitload of humans, but the human species needs new generations, otherwise it would just die off in less that 100 years.
     
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  9. Vanquisher12

    Vanquisher12 Fapstronaut

    Agreed, what's more your unique genetic bloodline will die off if you don't have children, whereas those of many other men around you, at least some of whom could easily be inferior to you, will live on. Make sure you're part of that crowd while you have the opportunity to join it.
     
    BrighterFuture likes this.
  10. Ekhangel

    Ekhangel Fapstronaut

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    As a father of two, I can tell you kids are a pain in the butt in the morning, and a blessing at night (meaning: they can cause hell, but when they behave well they reward you all the hardships). But reproducing is our elementary natural desire, and lack of will to reproduce is indicative of decadence.

    Just get your stuff together and hook up with a relatively pretty and kind 30 year old who also fears aging as a childless lady. And no, don't look on Tinder or parties. Easier said than done, I know.
     
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2021
    Gina3111, Vanquisher12 and Melkhiresa like this.
  11. Melkhiresa

    Melkhiresa Fapstronaut

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    It was easier back in the old days, but now women can be just as career oriented as men and not many western women will settle for stay-at-home life, so it is best to discuss these things early on; all luck in your endeavors.
     
    Gina3111 likes this.
  12. Having children can be a blessing or a terrible mistake. I personally wouldn’t want to bring anyone into this life.

    Your children could become that socially awkward narcissistic only child or that loud annoying obnoxious family member. They could also become a gift in the sense that they could take care of you when your older and continue the family bloodline.

    Humans already overpopulate the planet. You don’t get any or much free time when you have children anyway.

    It’s your life, man.
     
  13. Meshuga

    Meshuga Fapstronaut

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    I have 5 kids, age 1-9. They are a lot, it is stressful, but I have ADHD and get stressed easily. I love each of them & wouldn't trade a single one for a theoretical alternative life. Other days I feel differently.

    If it's just to prolong your bloodline, why? Why would that be important? I get the biological urge to procreate, but that language is kind of abstract. And having kids to count on when you get old... I guess that's a reason. It's presumptive, but a reason. Make sure you take care of them though, otherwise they'll drop you in the same nursing home you'd have gone straight to otherwise. I wouldn't personally have kids unless I really did want to go through the process. Watching those little cretins learn and grow and acquire a sense of self is a wonder. Plus, raising kids is a "next level" kind of thing in life. Don't even think about it unless you feel like you have a handle on life, and part of that is having a strong relationship with a strong partner. Age is pressing, I get that, and it may be beneficial to look for a younger mate for that reason, but don't count on kids before you have a good relationship. Don't skip steps.

    About that younger partner, though

    An older man could have his feet under him in a way a younger one doesn't. He understands who he is and what he wants. He's made progress toward his goals. He understands relationships aren't all about him. He has experience and resilience. He might know what a woman wants or, better, how to figure out what an individual woman wants. Even better than that, he may be in a position to give it to her.

    As far as a "lean look," buddy, you have testosterone. You can build muscle tone fast, all you need is a half decent diet and a little dedication. Work out, either keep that face shaved or trim your graying beard, get after your career, and you'll find a lot of women in their mid to late 20's won't mind at all. Many prefer an older guy, and it's never been weird in virtually any culture for a man to date, court, or wed a younger woman.
     
  14. Ekhangel

    Ekhangel Fapstronaut

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    Man, I hope they haven't inherited your ADHD? Or is your home a regular battlefield everyday?

    Still, how can you even discuss whether having children is a good thing or not? It's ridiculous. It's basically like discussing whether committing a suicide is a thing worth considering. If there's people today who are "unhappy" with their children it's because today's society has grown into a heap of hedonistic dumbasses who only know how to develop their shitty corporate careers, throw parties and view pictures on Facebook 10 hours a day. Who's going to feed your goddamn "social insurance" systems, you leftist pricks?! Oh yeah, loans from the Chinese government.

    Don't take it personally.
     
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2021
    Vanquisher12 likes this.
  15. Vanquisher12

    Vanquisher12 Fapstronaut

    Exactly right, most parents these days don’t bother to even look after their children and just see them as nuisances getting underfoot while they’re trying to post selfies on social media, watch shitty reality TV, get tattoos and fake tan, commit adultery with the local sl*t/bad boy beta and/or plan how they’re going to squeeze another million of their local currency out of the general population in their next greedy business scheme. The only methods of childcare they know are to plonk their offspring in front of the television or send them to nursery to be brought up alongside all the other brats reared in the same way.

    I am just grateful that I was born to parents raised in a more traditional time, and who devoted so much of their time to give me attention that it helped me understand the importance of having a close-knit family. That’s what I want to give to any children I have, in particular because so few children these days know what a family is.
     
    Ekhangel likes this.
  16. Ekhangel

    Ekhangel Fapstronaut

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    Can you please sign off your social insurance benefits so that my kids don't pay for your medical care? Thanks.
     
  17. Plan for such things is:
    Get to know someone.
    Go out with her a lot.
    Pop the question if she's the right one.
    Leave the breeding thing to chance. It either happens or not, if it happens yay I'm a father if it don't, then too bad.
     
    Vanquisher12 likes this.
  18. Ekhangel

    Ekhangel Fapstronaut

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  19. Lie about your age say your an older looking 19 year old lol
     
  20. UncleBarnacle

    UncleBarnacle Fapstronaut

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    Every time I think about having children, I think about how many times I've dropped my phone.
     

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